Your Project
Find another area of your life that you can cut back, do less well, or give up on altogether – either permanently or just for the duration of The Me Project – in order to give you the time and space to pursue your goal.
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen
One of the things that I knew I wanted to do as a mom was to feed my kids fresh, healthy food. My kids were born in the early 90’s so words like “organic” and “locavore” were not part of this mom’s vocabulary. However, when my kids were still in diapers, I made my own baby food and read everything I could about feeding my kids healthy, fresh and nurturing food.
And then I went back to work.
While my standards hadn’t changed, my schedule had. I wanted to keep feeding my family incredibly healthy, fresh nurturing food. But I would come home after a long day, exhausted from meeting work needs, and realize that this Mother Hubbard’s cupboards were bare.
And then suddenly, the Golden Arches seemed like the healthiest option.
When someone suggested that I make meals on the weekend, freeze them, and then pull them out during the week to cook for dinner, initially I balked. I didn’t want to feed my family frozen food. No. I was going to cook healthy, fresh nurturing food.
And the vicious cycle of perfectionism, guilt and ordering food through a loud speaker continued.
It took a while, but I finally broke down and gave freezer cooking a try. And I am here to testify, honey, it changed my life.
So now here I am, 14 years later, still spending a weekend every other month filling up my freezer with meals that my family really loves. Do I wish that I could just shop locally at farmer’s markets and then bring my bounty home and create organic meals every night for an appreciative family? Sometimes. But the reality is I have a healthy, nutritious meal on the table most nights. My kids are healthy and even sometimes, appreciative. Is it perfect? No. Is it better – oh yeah.
After giving up the idea of perfection when it came to dinner times, I was able to figure out the best reality for feeding my family. These silly frozen meals have kept me from stressing out, I have even written a booklet on freezer cooking, do seminars to women’s groups and at one point, had a meal swap with five other women. (We called ourselves Six Chicks Freeze and Fix.)
It is only at the point of giving up on our unrealistic dreams of perfection can we really discover what is best for our life and our situations. I think that most women I know have this in some area of our lives.
For the next three days, I’m going to ask you to do something that takes you aobut five minutes, and here’s my questions: Where’s that time going to come from? Is there something you can do less well to give yourself the extra five minutes?
I don’t want you to pack your already over-packed day with another thing on your to-do list. Tell me one thing you are going to take off your to-do list in today’s comments, and you will be entered into our drawing for Cindi McMenamin’s book, Woman on the Edge and another winner will get The Frozen Gourmet Cookbook.
And remember, everyone who comments this week get put into the drawing for the DORY AWARD!
I am going to take “cleaning the bathroom” off of my to-do list and put it on my daughter’s. She is almost 12 and needs to earn money for her sixth grade camp trip.
By putting a limit on my computer time, I figure I can free up hours in a day. Literally. I love my Facebook pals and games but it tends to suck me in. The escape and enjoyment I have connecting and playing is not getting me to my goal. It’s an escape. I do need to check email, calender and such so eliminating completely is not practical or wise. Setting a timer will free me. I had intended to begin next Wednesday for Lent and spend some of that time doing good for others. I will start now instead.
I give up trying to please everyone. I will respect my husband and children’s thoughts and wishes but will ultimately be ok when I disappoint them or others. This will relieve stress that will then free me from making so many unnecessary mistakes causing me to redo what ever I have not concentrated fully on “)
I too am going to cut way back on Facebook. I also decided to actually jump in and work on things that need to be done instead of wandering around just staring at the piles and moving on to “Internet Therapy”. I tried it yesterday and had time left to do the things I wanted to do too.
I wish I could just say that I’m going to stop doing laundry, but there are three boys at my house that need clean underwear tomorrow.
I tried to stop baking…but it was his BIRTHDAY! How could I NOT?
I tried to stop writing on my blog as often…but that was hard too. The blog writing is the easy stuff. The other writing is hard.
Still working on this one!
I’m going to spend 5 minutes each day just talking to my kids… instead of always bossing them around and telling them what to do.
I’m joining the others who have decided to cut back on Facebook, or as it should be called, Waste Book!
I’ll re-set my alarm to get up 5 minutes earlier in the morning
I chase, feed, clean-up after, instruct and love on a 1 and 3 year old everyday. I was trying to think of what I could give up. I have decided rather that take something off my “To Do” list. I would just make a list and check things off as I go. If it takes me a few days or even weeks, then oh well. So, today I put on my list 1. give the dog a bath, 2. dust light above kitchen table, 3. drop things off at Goodwill, 4. mend the pile of clothes in the bag I have been collecting them in, etc. I will get to them when I can but, this way I can focus on what I need to and not have the distractions cluttering my mind and causing me to worry and feel defeated. I usually feel like I am putting out fires all day just seeing a task that needs to be done and doing it. Instead of really analazing the importance of it in my day. To give myself an extra five minutes today, I am going to just quickly wipe down the bathrooms instead of cleaning them – that should give me some time to do more important things. I will thoroughly clean them in a week or so when I am able. Thanks Kathi for making me think and address this. It feels good to get these things on paper and not feel so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. If I check one thing off little by little that is ok.
I’m going to give up checking my facebook 8-10 times a day. instead I will only check it once a day.
OK – can I have an amen for Not checking FB 25 xs a day?
I’m going to cut back on going to the grocery store to no more than 3 times a week. :o)
This is such a huge issue for so many women jessica! proud of you!
I waste time just by doing nothing… Sometimes I will play a game on my phone, or even just sit on the couch staring out at our back yard. I check FaceBook way too often so I will turn the computer off during school time.
I’ve started writing my to do list on a white board… it’s a beautiful thing to give myself a fresh start each day by wiping the board clean. Even if I carry over something from the day before, I still get a sense of a new day when I start over!!!
Those computer games are a killer.
I have quit doing detailed bookwork! And am hiring a bookkeeper. This will take a huge chunk out of my “to-do” list and give me more time to write, market my book, speak, and live a rewarding life for Him. 🙂
jeanette- us too! WE have someone who is doing the day to day stuff, and then we are finally getting an acct. Freedom!
Kathi:
This is a GREAT week of challenging those in your life to minimize stress and maximize impact. Good for you.
I am going to stop saying “yes” to speaking engagements that cost me more in gas and time than I have. It is not that God cannot use those gigs, it just that I end up resenting the time away from my family when I come home exhausted and disappointed.
🙂 BTW, the FB idea is great. 30 minutes a day, huh?
I know I already sent you a shout out by email, but I am so proud of you girl – this is so hard.
Instead of keeping my email screen up all day long, so I’m constantly being distracted from what I meant to be doing when I went into the room, I will choose specific times to check it, and I will limit the time I spend to 15 minutes/check-in. (Deep breathing…. “I can survive without my email. I can survive without my email…”) It’s a big time waster, and although it’s a great way to be in touch, I don’t know how many times I go to the computer for a certain reason, and twenty minutes later, I don’t have a clue why I sat down, but I’ve wasted twenty minutes on Facebook or emails!
What a good – and needed – idea. guilty.
Check my e-mail only twice after 5 p.m.
Yeah Stacy – I am doing my darndest to not check it after 7. hard but necessary.
Well, I’m on bedrest for a high-risk pregnancy right now, so I’ve had to take pretty much everything off my to-do list. It’s amazing how freeing that is! I thought I would be bored, but I’ve had so much fun catching up on things I never have time to do…like reading, cross-stitching, scripture study, and playing with my 2 yr old. What a blessing it’s been to just slow down!
BTW- I was just going to buy The Frozen Gourmet today, so I hope I win! 🙂
I’d LIKE to say I’m going to take “going to the gym” off my to-do list, but I’d better not! 😉
I can’t completely take it off my to-do list, but I’m going to cut back on cleaning. I tend to obsess over it, but with 3 little boys no matter how hard I try, I can never keep the house up to my unrealistic standards!
I too am a perfectionist and long to make healthy dinners for my family. I end up getting frustrated over all the things that one should not eat (too many carbs, dairy, etc.) and I never make a meal because one of the ingredients needed is from the “should not eat” list. It drives me batty. So what do I do? I end up heating a frozen pizza that I keep on hand for emergencies. (which by the way, has carbs and dairy–makes no sense) As it turns out most nights are emergencies. The casual affair of eating pizza means my family eats at the counter and not at the table. It means we leave our time together sooner than later. And it means mommy was probably doing chores than being with her family. Today I not only decided it is ok to buy cheese for a recipe. But I decided it was better to serve my family by cooking, having fun with my boys helping me cook, and sitting together at the table and eating something everyone liked. Today I decided the recipes on the back of the Bisquick box were acceptable.
I’m giving up my “should not eat” list. It’s crazy how this alone has added so much more time and LIFE into just one day.
Thanks Kathi!
I am going to set a timer for FB. Only 1/2 an hour per day…. Saves a LOT of time:)
If I make a more possible goal, of finally framing and putting up family photos, I will have to pray about what to give up to gain that needed time. I know I’m not busy every minute. 🙂 Perhaps not reading for a day or two. Okay, is this supposed to be hard? 🙂
I gave up TV during the day. I found that it was a time sucker. I was watching some dumb talk show instead of cleaning up the kitchen, laundry or shopping.
I am giving up playing some video games, TV time and less facebook time.
I’m giving up vacuuming daily and will only go to Target once a week, (not 3). I should save 4-6 hours!
I’m giving up vacuuming daily and only going to go to Target once a week. That’ll give me an extra 4-6 hours a week, at least!!!
I am going to give up some computer time so I can read more!
I am going to watch one less tv show a day. Even if I fast-forward through commercials, I will certainly gain more than five minutes a day.
I’m going to give up playing Farm Town on facebook. I figure I’ll get more than 5 minutes. 🙂