I walked into the kitchen and saw a box addressed to me. I wasn’t surprised – I get package for my ministry all the time. But when I saw that the return address was one of my favorite stores, I knew something was up.
Roger stood next to me at the table and said “Happy Un-Birthday!” as I opened up the package: a pair of shoes that I craved (and may have posted on Facebook,) that we couldn’t afford but I thought were adorable. Roger ordered them for my Un-Birthday.
If you’ve been to our Marriage Project Retreat, you’ve heard about my Un-Birthday: One day, when a sales clerk was asking my birthday, Roger chimed up with “Oh it’s April…”
I had to stop him right there.
“Um, Roger. April is the birthday month of your FIRST WIFE…”
OK. So I had a decision to make: was I going to hang this over his head, or let it pass. I let it dangle for a few minutes.
We had a good laugh about it, and I would bring it up in conversation every once in a while just to make him a little more uncomfortable.
Two months later, on April 14th, Roger told me to get dressed up. He was taking me to dinner, a movie, and out for a little shopping. I was dumbfounded. Why would he be doing that?
“Because it’s your Un-Birthday. I wasn’t wrong when I gave the guy April as your birthday month, but it was your Un-Birthday, so we have to go celebrate now. “
Ever since then, in the month of April, Roger takes me to dinner and a movie, and either takes me shopping, or buys me a gift. He calls it the most expensive mistake he’s ever made.
And we both love it.
We love having an inside (and now that we’ve spoken on it and written on it, it’s an outside) joke. We love having a silly night that is all just for us.
Why not do the same for the one you love?
Create a holiday all around your husband. It could be an un-birthday, or the anniversary of your first date, or International Taco Night, or your annual viewing of “The Princess Bride”. I’m not saying you give him another date to remember (or forget). You come up with something silly or fun and get the ball rolling.
So, if you were to come up with an off the wall celebration for your and your man, what would it be? Tell me in the comments below by Friday. And let’s do a little giveaway – I will randomly select one winner to receive two copies of THE MARRIAGE PROJECT!
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.
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