“Our prayer must not be self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them.” John Calvin
When things are going well, there is nothing better than being in love with the man you have committed your life to. When you agree on finances, plans, and what to have for dinner, there is almost nothing better than the safety and security of going through life with someone you love.
But when life is stressful, there is no place the stress shows up faster than in your marriage. And that is just plain painful. I know when I get overwhelmed, stressed out, or scared, Roger is the one I naturally take those feelings out on. I don’t mean to—really! But he is usually the one standing closest to me when things explode, and he takes the brunt of the hit. One of the things I need to remember in that situation is that God did not intend for my husband to become my emotional dumping ground. God wants us to bring every worry, every anxiety, every problem, every sin to him.
I want you to be encouraged. I want you to know that you are already doing more for your marriage by committing to pray for him than most wives will ever do for their husbands Just the simple act of praying for your husband and asking for God’s direction is a huge step in having a better relationship with your man.
When I dropped the agenda I had in praying for Roger (though not without a lot of conviction and soul wrestling), I had a new freedom in my prayer life. It wasn’t up to me to change Roger into the kind of husband I wanted. God started to show both of us that we needed to stop looking to each other to meet all of our needs and start looking to our Creator to meet them. It took a lot of the pressure off Roger, and off me.
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Heb. 12:14–15)
Dear God, Sanctify our relationship with your holy presence, that we might be for each other a blessed oasis in a dry and desert land. Help us to resolve disagreements and hurts gently, with love, patience, and abiding respect, so that neither bitterness nor resentment will ever take root in our hearts. Let the divine light of your love so shine through our marriage that we present a holy example to others and lead them to your truth.
I would like to help one of you keep the prayer going by giving you my latest book, Praying God’s Word for Your Husband. Just let
me know in the comments below that you prayed for your man and we will choose one winner at random.
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.
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