OK, I’ll say it: yes, it’s great to have kids out of school. And it can be hard!
Many of our support systems take hiatus during summer.
There’s often less external structure.
We have to create more of it ourselves.
At the same time, part of the appeal of summer is that we want to slow down, be less scheduled, relax!
I try to strike a balance between chaos and life in a barracks. Often, things that test my sanity are just a click away.
It’s day three of summer. My son, 14, is reclining on the couch, sporting his “go to” summer look: bath towel and laptop. I remember the pre-teen years, when he had an aversion to bathing. Glad we’re past that stage. I take a deep breath. He’s watching a video lesson on Kahn academy, and cursing the Muslim mathematician who invented algebra. And simultaneously playing video games, instant messaging, and listening to music.
You’re thinking, “Wow. That kid can truly multi-task!” Not so much, actually.
I am losing my religion. He is supposed to be doing math. Only math.
I ask him to turn the computer off since he’s not really studying. He ignores me.
I ask again. No response.
My reptile brain decides that prying it from his hands would be a good move…
Later, after we both calm down, I tell him I’m holding the computer until we can come up with a plan that works for both of us.
I need to make adjustments as my kids grow. Rarely is that a linear process. Technology is just one example of a slippery area. There are lots of learning tools available online, but it’s like running the digital gauntlet for a kid to stay on task. People think that because I teach Positive Discipline parenting classes, I must have this stuff nailed. I’m working through the same challenges as everyone else!
I make plenty of mistakes. Positive Discipline principles and tools act as a compass for getting back on track and focusing on solutions to daily challenges. If you’d like to
· Learn to avoid power struggles
· Make progress on reducing or eliminating some of those annoying, repetitive misbehaviors your kids are engaged in
· Improve your consistency
REGISTER for a FREE tele-class:
“Summer Parenting Solutions”
Wednesday, July 3
10:00am – 11:00am PST
We did come up with a plan together, and agreed to try it out for a week and see how it goes. I was able to recover, reconnect, and hold the limit respectfully. On the second try.
What parenting challenges test your sanity?
Kimberly Gonsalves is a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer, Professional Coach, and mom to two kids, a ‘tween and a teen. She helps parents who are tired of yelling, nagging, and threats learn practical, positive discipline tools that invite more cooperation, teach life skills for the long run, and create happier families. Kimberly@parenting4thelongrun.
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.
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