My husband, Roger, is one of those guys who would do anything you needed – just ask. He calls himself a handyman for the 21st century: Need a network for your home? Call Rog. Want Roger’s salsa recipe? No need – he’ll make his famous appetizer for you.
As great as my husband is, though, Roger is often reluctant to “put himself out there”. He is hesitant to get involved in situations that he doesn’t know anything about. He wants to help people, but he is much more comfortable when the help is asked for.
So when I asked him how his day had gone, I was shocked when he told that he stopped at a multi-car accident on the way home.
“Yeah, it was a three car accident. The front two cars had minor damage, but the third car was totaled. No one else was stopping, so I figured I better stop. I helped the third woman, got her calmed down, and then called 911. I stayed with all three women until the ambulance, police, and fire department arrived.”
I’m not telling this story to brag on my man, (although I’m really proud of him…) I’m telling this story for a couple of reasons.
How to Help When You Don’t Feel Like Enough
- We don’t avoid helping people because we’re bad people – we avoid because it presses up against our comfort zone.
- Sometimes when we step out of our comfort zone, we are not going to get the reaction we would hope for. This just happened to me yesterday – I
went up to a woman at the airport to let her know her sweater was one inside out (she was right outside of security so it would be easy to get it turned inside out.) After I told her she literally looked down her nose at me and said, “OK” in a huffy voice as if to say “How dare you bother me with such a trivial matter.” At first I felt bad and rejected, but Roger reminded me, “You would want someone to tell you. You did the right thing.” - When we do the right thing, God will give you the words to say. You don’t have to be fully prepared before you help. You just have to show up – God will equip you for what to do and say next.
In the comments below, tell me one area where you feel God is calling you to step out of your comfort zone – or has in the past. I would love to give one reader a copy of my new book Praying God’s Word for Your Life
God’s been challenging me to encourage other moms, especially of toddlers. There’s one particular mom who I’m friends with that needs the hope of Jesus Christ.
Kathi, thank you for your heart for God and your ministry. You are making a difference in people’s lives. I heard you this week on Focus on the Family.
I needed your message about the husband project.
I am learning to trust our Lord when He ask me to do things that I feel so in adequate to do. I was a young girl when I accepted Jesus as my Savior and
Lord but I am still learning how to be His child and accept His mercy and grace.
I realized I had a trust issue and I ask God to help me. Life has taught me
I can’t always trust people. With my actions I included God to be one I wasn’t sure I could fully trust. I had given Him my soul to guard and keep for eternity but didn’t give Him my cares and concerns to handle. I found when I prayed I didn’t really trust or believe He was going to answer “my” prayer.
God is so merciful and kind and so willing to show us His unconditional love for us. He is allowing me to be in situations that are far from my comfort zone, singing in front of people I don’t even know for starters. I am amazed at how
I am learning to trust Him more as these situations present themselves and now I know that He will never ever let me down. We serve such an awesome God. I wake up each morning and am excited about what He will do today and how will He work in my life and in the lives of those I love. He wants to reveal His love to us. He has my attention now and my trust.
I finally began talking to strangers in the grocery check out line. I am very concerned for our humanity as a species! I talk to people about the chemtrails in our skies, the cancer time bombs in vaccines, the 18 Billion Dollar PER MONTH bailout to foreign banks, the Genetically Modified Food which has been grown in a stew of round-up, etc. It absolutely amazes me most people have no clue …
God has been calling me to stand beside my husband throughout his 3+ years of unemployment. Sooooo many times I have wanted to apply for jobs myself and see what happened because of fear and because This is not comfortable for me. I like to have more control over things… or feel that some person has control. Leaving the controls in God’s hands and not taking over… letting God lead my husband… has been hard. God has provided all our needs. We go through sets of struggles and we are coming to another one as our unemployment benefits ended months ago and now we are at the end of the money in the bank. My ds is the only one working, part time, and that will not pay the bills. My husband, and more importantly, I feel God wants me to continue to be a stay at home / homeschooling mom. So I will trust. Some days I struggle. Some days I doubt. But God brings me comfort through friends and through his word.
God has been calling me to be the women He created. I “thought” I was being a good wife by being quiet, praying, and not complaining when I had an issue with my husband. This only led to my husband being in the dark and me feeling hurt. God is showing me to love is to speak up and communicate; to be honest about my feelings. This has been the hardest thing for me to do because in the past, conflict between us created distance between us. But doing it God’s way is actually rebuilding intimacy and trust.
About 10 months ago, I felt God calling me to step out of my comfort zone and help fill a need at our church. I have been the interim children’s pastor for 10 months and this is definitely outside my comfort level! God has been consistently faithful to provide, encourage and guide me.
Kathi, I have been selected to attend a women’s leadership academy. I was so excited to be chosen. I had prayed about it and said to God, ” If I am selected, I will be so happy Lord but if I don’t then I will accept it gracefully and know it is not your will for me right now.” Well, I guess He knows it is time. I am an involved and active member of my community and would love to learn more…but I have never been more than a quick drive away from my medically fragile grandson, nor have I traveled so far away, and never traveled alone. I am stepping out of my comfort zone into an adventure that I believe will allow me to share God’s word and His love with others! Thanks for your post today!
Being out of my comfort zone is sometimes simply communicating. I struggle daily with communicating with my husband. Growing up I did not have positive examples of how to communicate. I’ve been married almost four years and that has been our biggest struggle. The past year I have been able to have simple conversations with my husband without crying and completely shutting down. I consider it a great accomplishment but I still have so far to come. I’ve been praying and trusting God to help me break these barriers in my life. Cause I know I can do all things through Him, who strengthens me.
Finding a Bible study and leaving my kids in the care of people at that church while I attend the session…WAY out of my comfort zone.
Two years ago, I felt called to start a MOMSnext group at my church. Way, way, way out of my comfort zone. I tend to get nervous and red-faced when talking to more than two people at a time! I decided to trust God and knowing that he equips those he calls, started a group, and people actually showed up!!
So in the last two years, I have learned way more than I could have any other way about being a leader, friend, and encourager to lots of other moms with school aged children. I came out way ahead (which was God’s plan all along)!!
Sometimes we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable! For me it’s been letting my kids go. I have a 25 year old married daughter who just was commissioned as a pastor. My relationship with her is ever changing as she is now a wife and now also a pastor. It’s all uncharted territory. My 20 year old son, searching for what he wants to do with his life and my 17 year old son starting his last year of high school. All uncharted territory! All uncomfortable! God is the only one who saturates the area of our lives that make us feel out of place. God is creating something new for us when we get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Being out of my comfort zone is asking for help. I have never liked asking for anything. This past year God has been teaching me that I have to stop feeling guilty to ask for things. I’ve had to call on friends to watch one child while another is in the hospital. This was especially hard for me because I never want to feel like a burden to anyone and I truly did. I’m still learning and struggling with how to ask for help but I know that’s what God is teaching me right now.
Thank you for your blog. It made me realize that this is the lesson I’m in right now. As I did my devotional this morning this is what I prayed for and then I open my email and this blog was there.
Thanks so much for sharing this Kathi! Our MOPS coordinator has been ready to step down for the last year, and has been praying fervently for someone to be ready to take over. (She has given her time, energy, and heart to starting our MOPS group and running it for 4 years, so she deserves a break!) I’ve felt God’s calling and Co-coordinated with her last year, and knew what direction He was pointing me in, but I feel so inadequate…and NERVOUS! I love it when “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns comes on the radio, because it reminds me that God will enable me to do the things he’s asking me to do…I just have to climb out of the boat!
I have repeatedly stepped into positions at church. Working in AWANA, sunday school, vbs when I felt unprepared. This week however, I refused VBS, I thought I should do it, even signed up, but I desperately didn’t want to. I finally gave a definite no yesterday and before the day was over, someone else had stepped up. I’m sure that’s not the answer you were looking for, but it has hugely relieved me.
In my line of artistic work (body art), I never know who is going to contact me with interest. Sometimes it is a balker, sometimes it’s a serious client. I have to be patient, peel back the layers, and determine for myself who is truly interested and who is wasting my time. It has taken a lot of patience and God-given deciphering, but I’ve been able to ask the tough questions up front (sometimes flat out asking if they ARE serious), regardless of my comfort zone, to pluck out the serious clients so I can focus on them. It not only gives me more time to spend with people who are serious, but it has distinguished me as a respected artist… all because God continues to help me step out and say the uncomfortable stuff first!
God has changed my heart so much regarding this issue- I used to feel insufficient to do anything! He has shown me that it is Him working through me and so I can do anything He calls me to do. That being said, I still really struggle with telling people I don’t know well about Jesus. That is a big fear and I know He is calling me to step out in faith in that area.
I’ll be out of my comfort zone today as I get ready to host a Tupperware party for a friend who is trying to start her home business. I always try to support my friends’ endeavors to earn more money for their families, but I often find it hard. I know that after everyone has left tonight I’ll say to my husband, “I’m so glad I did that!”
In so many ways, God calls me out of my comfort zone. At those times, I call upon Him to speak and work through me. I remember that if He brought me to it, He will bring me through it. I claim Jeremiah 29 :11. Sometimes, things make no sense to me, but I am to trust and obey. That comes hard, because I like to think that I can do it myself. I know His ways are better. It’s just difficult to go from cognition to the actual living it. Your post reminds me to trust in His sufficiency, rather than my own ineptness.