There are all sorts of ways to do it, but here are three ways you can connect with each of your kids.

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Take Your Child on a one-on-one vacation. My friend Kim and her husband had long promised their children that when each of them turned sixteen, he or she would go on an extended vacation. The only rule was that it had to be in the continental U.S. and the kids had to help plan the vacation. Kim found out the best part was learning about the unique personalities each child had.

If a whole vacation does not work, try a weekend or even a one night over night. The overnight part is what is fun and makes it special because it is extended time together.


Take Your Child on a regular date night. Justen and I began this tradition when he was about seven years old, and we still do it now that he is out of high school.  About once a month, we choose a night to go out on the town, just the two of us. It may be hamburgers at the local burger joint or it may be going to a museum. The point is to do something fun that you will both enjoy and can talk about in the years to come.


Connect with your child over small but memorable activities. When Kimberly was eight years old, we started sharing a mother-daughter journal. One night I would tuck it under her pillow and the next night she would tuck it under mine. It was a wonderful way to connect and have a little insight into my daughter’s heart.  A friend of mine, Angie, still brushes her daughter’s hair at the end of the day and will talk about their days. Her daughter is thirteen! It is a little thing that has become a special part of the day.

Planning this one on one time takes some time, but it will be worth it knowing that you are investing in a lifetime of memories and really connecting with your child. And to help you with more planning, if you comment on this post and let me know some ways you make your child feel special when you are one one one, you may will a copy of 21 Ways to Connect with Your Kids.