When there has been betrayal in your marriage, restoration doesn’t seem possible and rebuilding a marriage seems daunting. Many of us just wouldn’t go down that road, but other times, when God’s plan includes rebuilding your marriage, He uses it to move mountains. So how do you go from a completely broken place, to a marriage that is better than new, fully restored and more connected than you ever realized it could be?
Kathi talks to Cindy Beall, a woman that has gone from shattered to restored, betrayed but now, with a lot of honesty and hard work, in a marriage that is beautiful. She is the author of Rebuilding a Marriage Better than New, and Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken. Kathi and Cindy discuss what that honesty and work look like and how life can look on the other side of broken.
Your first challenge is simple. All I want you to do is say something nice to your husband. That’s it. Really. Let’s just love him with words.
Because the truth is: often we wives have the power to change the way our husbands walk through the world by choosing the words we speak to them.
How you do it is up to you.
Here are a few ideas for ways to love him with words:
- Say it to him
- Text it to him
- Put it on a Post-it Note in his truck
- Call him
- Whisper it to him
- Put it in a card in his computer case
- Write it in lipstick on the bathroom mirror
Have you got your great idea of how you’re going to say it? Great. Now what to say … maybe a simple “I love you” or “I appreciate how you _______ .” Maybe you want to tell him he is sexy or handsome.
But don’t worry if you’re having a hard time coming up with something. I have you covered! Here are some additional ideas for how to love him with words. Something to get the creative juices flowing. These are from The Husband Project: 21 Post-it Note Sized Encouragements.
And remember, tell me in the comments what you did (or are planning to do) to love him with words. (And post a picture to my Facebook Page so I can share your love with the world!)
Answer the Question of the Day on Kathi’s Facebook page for your chance to win a copy of 101 Ways to Tell Your Husband You Love Him!
Today’s question: What words most encourage your husband? Scripture, I love you’s, or I appreciate you’s?
Are you striving and trying hard to do everything right? Is this beginning to hurt your relationships with friends, spouses, even God?
Breaking up with perfect is about grace. Grace for myself and grace for others.
Join me as I talk with Amy Carroll, author of Breaking Up with Perfect as we get real about how are different personality styles affect our ability to walk beside our friends during the ups and downs of life.
**Win a copy of the book Breaking Up with Perfect by Amy Carroll by leaving a comment below
Mentioned in this episode:
Breaking Up with Perfect Online Study
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If someone suddenly needed a place to stay, whether it be a natural disaster or a family “situation,” would you be ready to take them in?
It’s actually a lot simpler than it sounds. Listen as Erin and I discuss the few necessities you can have on hand in case Extreme Hospitality is at your door.
Mentioned in the episode: Twisting Jewelry
*Win a free copy of The What’s For Dinner Solution book by leaving a comment below! Share an idea you have in order to be prepared for Extreme Hospitality. One commenter will be chosen as the winner!
- 1 lb. ground beef
- ¼ chopped onion
- 16 oz. penne pasta, parboiled and drained
- 6 cups spaghetti sauce
- 6 slices mozzarella
- ½ cup Parmesan cheese
Prepare: Brown ground beef and onions together. Add spaghetti sauce. Combine sauce and cooked pasta, mix well.
Freeze: Spread pasta in 9×13 pan and cover with foil. Attach two freezer bags to pan, one with the mozzarella cheese slices, one with gated Parmesan cheese. Freeze.
Serve: Thaw casserole and cheeses. Place mozzarella cheese slices over casserole. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until the cheese is bubbly. Remove the foil and bake for 5 more minutes. Serves 4.
by Bethany of Kathi’s Clutter Free Academy Team
When I make the choice to control the clutter, I find freedom waiting in the living room. A lot of family life happens in the living room, and I want to make it a point to spend a lot of time in there with my hubby and three kids. But I can only do this well if I keep the clutter from sucking the life out of the living room. Our living room needs to be a place where we connect and laugh together, not trip over junk and shift piles of books to find a spot on the couch.
Here’s what I know: The kids won’t remember if the pillows, couch and rug coordinate but they will remember the tickle fights. Guests won’t remember if clean floors or dust bunnies greeted them when they crossed the threshold of your living room but they will remember your kind hospitality. Why? Because these are the things that actually matter, not sparkling floors and not throw pillows.
Contain clutter and gain freedom to live—really live—in your living room.
Here are seven ideas to get you started.
1. Dance Party
Turn up the volume on some of your favorite tunes and dance until you drop. Learn a line dance together and hilarity will follow.
2. Indoor Picnic
Spread out a blanket on the living room floor and break out the picnic foods, whether it’s 95 degrees or raining outside! Bonus: Dinner is easy peasy!
3. Game Night
Choose a night and invite a few friends over for pizza and games. The invitation and the fun are all that matter. Enjoy your guests. Repeat.
4. Lightsaber Fight
It just doesn’t get much better than a lightsaber fight. Get ready to watch the force in action—everyone is a kid with a lightsaber in hand. For extra fun, make it as dark as possible to stay safe and then record it. Everyone loves to see the action over and over again.
5. Coffee Shop
Make (or buy) a batch of cookies or muffins. Set out books, magazines, and candles. Brew your favorite cup and turn up some background music. Relish the blissful sips of clutter free life with family or friends!
We have a little putting mat that we bring into the living room now and then because…well, why not? Make a game of it and see who can sink the best out of ten putts. Winner gets to choose the snack.
7. Date Night Movie Night
After the kids are in bed, break out an appetizer extravaganza, whether its from your grocer’s frozen section or an exotic array of cheeses and fruit. You pick the food, fancy or fun, and hubby gets to choose the movie.
• What’s your favorite way to live — really live — in your living room?
• How does becoming clutter-free make it easier to enjoy life in your living room?
While you’re at it, how do you connect with your kids? Each of them has a different personality and each has different needs to feel loved. With 21 Ways to Connect to Your Kids, you’ll learn each of his/her personality traits and how to use that information to create real connection.
LEARN MORE >>>
Warning: February 14th can be a hard day for any woman not living inside the pages of a fiction novel or in an Anne Hathaway romcom.
We spend so much time here at Clutter Free talking about how to declutter your home, but we all know the truth:
Decluttering starts with our hearts and minds. When we can be focused and intentional about what emotions and thoughts we let in (and which ones we keep from taking up a chair and sitting down for a cup of coffee) it goes a long way to practicing peace.
And yes – emotions are at a high when bad things happen – a death, illness, financial trouble.
But I find that when the world tells us Valentine’s is “supposed” to be a great day — filled with flowers, poems, secret admirers, and declarations of undying love, well—that can set us up for disappointment in a way no crisis can.
This has been a struggle for me in the past.
- The friend who got 2 dozen roses delivered to work and my total haul was a card I got from a coworker.
- When I was going through my divorce and wondered if I would ever have someone to love me again.
- The time the guy I was dating broke up with me on February 13th. (True story.)
Following are five suggestions to help you begin de-cluttering your heart before Cupid’s arrow hits you between the eyes this Valentine’s Day.
1. Avoid the Comparison Trap – It’s easy to fall into the idea that Valentines’ Day “should” be a certain way. The best way to stop comparison is to disengage from social media, at least for this day. That way, you won’t be tempted to compare your situation with someone else.
2. Take the Air Out of the Holiday
Want a perfect recipe for disaster?
- Try to get a reservation on Valentine’s Day
- Pay a babysitter on Valentine’s Day
- Expect flowers on Valentine’s Day
Why not celebrate your love on a different day?
First, it lowers crazy expectations.
Second, it’s easier to find someone to help you take care of the kiddos.
Finally, you can actually get a reservation somewhere if you want to go to dinner. (Or do like we do, try a great, but cheap ethnic food place for Adventure Dining. All the romance, but my guy doesn’t have to wear a tie!)
Go for fun instead of tradition and make the holiday your own.
3. Practice Peace – Valentine’s Day can be fun, romantic, and yummy (if there’s chocolate involved), but it can also be stressful. Did I get the right card? What time is dinner again? Too many things to juggle and your joy can get zapped. Practice being mindful that God is peace. And since He lives in you, you have peace.
4. Celebrate Life Everyday – We can hype the idea that we are celebrating the day of love. But really? Are we? Showing loved ones love does not have to be on Valentine’s Day. You can show love and appreciation everyday. Celebrate the beauty of everyday joy and love.
And on this Valentine’s, instead of waiting for others to show their love, go out and create some. Bring some candy to the janitor at your kid’s school, take a balloon to your next door neighbor who lives alone, and spend some extra time snuggling your dog.
Don’t wait to be adored. Go out and create loving moments.
5. Practice Being Happy for Others – Someone else is going to have a nicer dress, a cooler card, and the bigger flower arrangement. Be happy for them. This may be exactly what they needed after a really rough time in their marriage or in their life. Practice having an inner attitude of positive feelings and thoughts about others.
If this a holiday that can be hurtful, don’t be hard on yourself. It is for a lot of women I speak to. But, don’t let bitterness ruin your day. Think on these verses that can put your day in perspective.
If you need a boost and a confidence builder for your Clutter Free lifestyle, Kickstart to Clutter Free is the perfect way to get started. In just 14 days, Kathi gives you simple steps in getting rid of 500 things. We’ve been hearing from people all over the country that are having great success with the Kickstart eCourse. Find out more here.