3 Ways to Make Family Time Tangle-Free During the Holidays by Carey Wiggens Scott

3 Ways to Make Family Time Tangle-Free During the Holidays by Carey Wiggens Scott

Carey Scott, is a new friend, but boy – when you read just what her mother-in-law did to sabotage her Christmas – you will instantly bond with her, just like I did.

Be sure to head over to Carey’s blog to enter to win her latest book Untangled.

10-21-15 Scott Carey Tangle Free image

She left out one of the main ingredients.

On purpose.

As my mother-in-law was writing down the recipe for her crowd-pleasing breakfast casserole – the one my husband really wanted me to make for Christmas morning – no one realized she was angry.

Even though we had spent Thanksgiving with them and planned on Christmas Eve too, the fact that we’d wake up at my parent’s house on the 25th made her spittin’-mad.

Wait. What?

And as my husband stood over her shoulder, he noticed she not only skipped a flavor-delivering ingredient, but also tweaked the measurements of the others.

I was being set-up for failure – a label I already wore when it came to all-things hospitality. A label she wanted me to continue wearing.

Truth is I’m not a confident cook or baker, so I’d have followed the recipe to a tee. The result would have been one nasty casserole. And ruining the Christmas morning meal would have heaped guilt and shame on me for not being better equipped in the kitchen — tightening the tangle that said “I’m a culinary catastrophe.”

There’s something about the holidays that brings out the nasty in family and the insecurity in us.

… Maybe we step back into dysfunctional family patterns, the ones we’ve paid big bucks in counseling to overcome.

… Maybe we feel like mom is judging the way we celebrate the holidays today because it’s different than how she did it when we were kids.

… Maybe old tapes replay in our minds, and we hear the tangling messages from childhood of “You’ll never be good enough” all over again.

… Or maybe growing up in our home was so painful that spending time there causes us to feel oppression all over again.

In a season where we’re supposed to step out of hectic schedules, set aside disagreements, and gather together to celebrate the important things in life… we find ourselves tangled in the messy-ness of family.

And instead of looking forward to the holidays, we dread them.

So what can you do to make family-time be tangle-free during the holidays?

Be prayed up

If you don’t ask God to prepare your heart in advance of these self-esteem-draining situations (and people), you’ll find your tinsel tangled. Start now praying for grace … for peace… for perspective… and for God to tender your heart while He strengthens your spirit. Ask Him to remind you of all the ways He delights in who you are. It will make a difference.

Plan to step out

Instead of maxing out your time with family that maxes out your confidence, be clever. Find opportunities to regroup. Make a run to the store. Take an extra long shower. Take the dog for a walk. Find ways to step out of the insanity so God can replace those age-old lies of worthlessness with His truth.

Breathe grace in

Experts agree a fail-safe way to keep from unleashing your anger on someone is to take a deep breath in. I don’t know the physiology of it, but I know how many times this simple idea has saved the life of the person standing in front of me (#justsayin). When your self-worth gets dinged and your hurt turns to anger, take a God-sized dose of grace into your lungs so you can exhale kindness and mercy. You don’t want to be a tangle-maker.

My mother-in-law and I never saw eye-to-eye. In all fairness, I wasn’t always easy to love. But neither was she. And while we made peace before she passed a few years ago, she was a tangle-maker through and through. Each time we got together, I asked God for help, I found pockets of time to regroup, and I inhaled grace. Lots of it.

The holidays can get us all wrapped up in the wrong things because we’re around the people who know what buttons to push, and have often been the ones to hurt us the most. But this year can be different.

10-21-15 Scott Carey book coverRemember friend: Be prayed up. Plan to step out. Breathe grace in.

And never forget that the Creator of the world – the one whose virgin birth we’re about to celebrate – delights in you… stumbles, fumbles and all.

He created you to be a gift to the world… and you are.

 

 

 

 

 

Looking for encouragement to help you recover from that pesky problem of perfectionism? Today’s featured book is Untangled.

You can enter to win a signed copy by leaving a comment directly on Carey’s blog.

PLUS, you’ll also be entered into the grand prize drawing for the Wrapped In Grace gift package: signed copies of all five of our books, a $100 Visa gift card, and a bunch of other fun goodies. All winners will be announced Saturday, October 24th at http://www.WrappedInGrace.info.10-21-15 Scott Carey Headshot

Carey Scott is an author, speaker, and life coach, honest about her walk with the Lord… stumbles, fumbles and all. Her passion is reminding women of their immeasurable worth, something the world is quick to discount. She speaks to women’s groups and writes about the issues that matter most to the heart of a woman.

Carey lives in Northern Colorado with her husband and two kids where she tries to be domestic, and appreciates the grace when she’s not. You can learn more by visiting her website and blog at www.CareyScottTalks.com, or by tracking her down at the closest Starbucks.

It’s a New Year! Time to Form Some Happy Habits!

It’s a New Year! Time to Form Some Happy Habits!

Harvest House, my publisher for Happy Habits for Every Couple, is doing a “New Year, New You” promotion and they’ve included my book in it!

From January 6 – 14, Happy Habits for Every Couple will be $9.99 for the ebook version. This is such a great deal!

You can purchase it at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Google Play or Kobo.

Not familiar with the book? Here’s what it’s all about:

Happy Habits for Every CoupleWhen was the last time you flirted with your husband? Was it before you had kids? Do you spend more time on the couch with your wife watching movies or with a bag of chips watching The Game? Does your idea of a hot date include a drive-thru and springing for the extra-large fries? What would your marriage look like if for 21 days you turned your attention to happy habits that will better your relationship? Plenty of books describe how to improve a marriage, how to save a marriage, even how to ramp up intimacy in a marriage. In Happy Habits for Every Couple, Kathi Lipp and husband Roger show you practical, fun-filled ways to put love and laughter back into your marriage. Here are just a few of the results you’ll see when you put Happy Habits for Every Couple into practice: new levels of warmth and tenderness in your relationship; a deeper sense of security with your spouse; and a marriage filled with fun and flirting.

If you haven’t given up the dream of being head-over-heels with your spouse again, following this 21-day plan will give you just the boost you need to bring you closer together.

Why not start today creating some new and happy habits?

 

Are you ready to be Clutter Free? Start the 21-Day Clutter Free challenge! Sign up now!