How do you greet your husband at the end of a long day?
If you get home first, do you meet him at the door with a list of things that needs to be done, a list of complaints about your day, or perhaps, an armful of kids?
If he gets home before you, do you walk in with a list of demands for the rest of the night?
Most men are looking for are a few minutes to transition from work to home. Focus on his transition tonight. If you have kids, let them give dad a quick hug and tussle. If it’s just the two of you, give him a quick kiss then tell him the next half an hour is his to do with as he wishes; lay down, watch TV, read a book, play a video game-whatever. The choice is his.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, help me to drop the to-do list for my husband today and focus on who he is not just what he can do.
There are plenty of reasons why it might not be easy for you to give your husband some transition time at the end of the day. We need to look at what can work for our relationship. Be creative, like the stories listed below. Brainstorm with your friends until you find a situation that will work for you and your guy.
- My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.
- One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)
- Crock-pots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crock-pot to finish thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know you don’t need anything until dinner is ready.
- Some husbands want to connect with their wives for their 30 minutes (different guys, different needs…). One wife who worked on this project, made a point of asking her husband about his day instead of giving him a 30-minute answer to his question about her day.
Focus on your husband’s “transitional” 30 minutes today. Use one of the suggestions above or come up with our own plan. The point is to let your husband know you value what he does out in the world and there’s a safe loving place to come home and refresh at the end of the day.
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.