by Nancy Anderson

This is the second of a four-part discussion outlining communication techniques that have helped my husband and I understand each 0ther. After 30 years of marriage, we’ve been able to demystifying some of our differences. Look for the third installment in Wednesday’s blog.

Want to Please Me? Don’t Tease Me!

Many couples tease each other, and if you can keep it friendly, it might be fun. However, if your humor is at someone else’s expense, it’s too costly. My husband is a funny guy. When we met, he was performing stand-up comedy in Los Angeles clubs like the Improv and the Comedy Store. He even took joke-writing classes from professional comedians like Steve Martin and had a one-on-one lesson from Bill Cosby.

He was always looking for a laugh. So when I ruined a meal or gained weight, he thought of it as new comedy material. I thought his comments were insulting and cruel. We had some of our biggest fights about his definition of humor. After I explained how much it hurt me, he stopped making my butt the butt of his jokes. He’s still funny, and we often write comedy scripts for Christian plays. But now, we share the same rule: personal insults are not funny.

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Nancy AndersonGuest blogger Nancy C. Anderson is an award-winning author and speaker who loves to teach women and couples to avoid the “Greener Grass Syndrome” by watering their own lawns. Nancy and her husband Ron teach at marriage seminars and banquets. For more information about their speaking schedule and other marriage articles: or their blog


Kathi Lipp is the author of 17 books including Overwhelmed, Clutter Free, The Get Yourself Organized Project, The Husband Project, Happy Habits for Every Couple, and I Need Some Help Here – Hope for When Your Kids Don’t Go According to Plan. She is the host of Clutter Free Academy the Podcast! with Kathi Lipp and speaks at conferences across the US. Kathi is published with Revell Publishers and Harvest House Publishers.

She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.
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