So here is a philosophical question: What if you wrote a blog posting and nobody read it? Would it still be a blog posting? I messed up my posting while I was out of tome for the weekend (without internet). So we are a couple of days behind. that’s OK, your husband will still love your loving – no matter when it happens.
Win today’s giveaway! Just tell us what you did (or are going to do!) for today’s Project by 7:00 PST on Tuesday and you will be entered into the drawing for today’s prize: Red Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrel
With their trademark insight, humor, and candid personal perspectives, Bill and Pam Farrel reveal the truths about the sexual relationship in marriage and what husbands and wives need to know to keep the embers burning.
- Sex is like fireworks!—why a little skill turns marriage into red–hot monogamy
- How sex works best emotionally, physically, and physiologically
- How to avoid the pleasure thieves that steal your chance for fulfillment
The Farrels present difficult–to–discuss topics and biblical truths in universal language with sensitivity, fun, and understanding.
For newlyweds, golden anniversary celebrants, and all couples in between—this book inspires the gift of romance and passion to fuel lives with love.
So leave your comment below to be entered to win!
While this is the first week of our project, if you have friends who want to join in, let them know that they can jump in any time. You don’t need to have The Husband Project book in order to participate, but you definitely will get more out of this(and be able to plan better) if you read along. You can order it on Amazon or for a special price on my website.
And yesterday’s winner? Stacy! Please e-mail kimber@kathilipp.com and she will get it right out to you!
Project #6
A Little Hands-on Attention
Meeting Your Husband’s Physical (Touch) Needs
“When you touch a body, you touch the whole person, the intellect, the spirit, and the emotions.”
– Jane Harrington
“He who feels it, knows it more.”
– Bob Marley
Your Project:
Do something to help your husband enjoy physical touch. Find something that will help him relax. New pillows, massage lotions, a back rub…your choice. Make it something that both of you will enjoy.
What does your husband consider relaxing?
Here’s the project where you get to choose between Thai, Indian, and Moroccan, learn about choosing and blending oils, and get elbow-deep in the technique of kneading. Nope – it’s not watching the Food Chanel together – it’s all about massage.
Remember when you were dating how hard it was to keep your hands off of each other? Fortunately, Roger and I had excellent chaperones while we were engaged (four teenage kids). I remember thinking, “I cannot wait to be married so we can actually be alone and do all this hugging and kissing and…”
After a few years of marriage, however, I seem to have developed excellent self-control.
If I had to pick one love language for my husband, it would definitely be physical touch. He loves the feel of my hands on the back of his neck, wants to sit oh-so-close on the couch, and practically sits up and pants if I offer to scratch his back.
Prayer for Today
Dear God, help me to step out of my comfort zone and love my husband in a way that meets his needs.
Getting Creative
- I’m way more inspired to do this project when I’ve just purchased a new lotion or massage oil. Run to the mall and buy a jar of “inspiration.”
- Get some luxurious new sheets – whether you’re into silk, bamboo, or flannel, buy the best quality you can afford. Make your bed a cocoon that you can both snuggle down in and resist getting out of.
- People let their pillows go far too long without being replaced. Take a look at yours – do they say luxury or limp, lumpy, and lifeless? May be time to lay your head on something new.
- Do you feel stymied because you know your husband would love a massage, but you have no idea how to do it? You can pick up a book, or better yet, ask him to show you what would feel best. There’s nothing better than a little hands-on instruction.
Project Reports
“If there’s one thing that’ll bring my husband to his knees, accompanied by a long drawn out “ahhhhhh,” it’s a hand massage. (Not what you were expecting, was it?) My husband loves it when I get some nice thick cream (Shea Butter is wonderful) and massage it into his hands and forearms. He’s in heaven within about three seconds of me starting, and by the time I’m done he’s virtually putty. (And, if you’re wondering, this massage rarely leads to something else, because by the time I’m done he’s already half asleep.)”
Teresa
“When we were dating I used to give my husband foot massages regularly. He kept saying “When we get married this will all stop.” Not right after we were married but about a year down the road he was right – they became few and far between. Guess it’s time to give him a nice long foot massage! I think I will add that into my weekly schedule.”
Denise
“We’ve been sleeping on mismatched sheets for the past six months… so, getting new sheets was not only what we needed but, just in time for this project. Let me tell you how nice it was for the both of us to slip into Egyptian cotton bed sheets~ Yeah, it was NICE~ You can get my point. OK. This one worked for the both of us.”
Penny
“I love this. Not being a “touch” sort of person myself, I realize this is an area I’ve (selfishly?) neglected. I happen to have just a little something tucked away from the last time I got inspired. Going to dust the bottle off, take a shower, invite my playmate to bed…”
Angie
“My husband has a lot of problems with his sinuses. So as we where relaxing, I had him rest his head in my lap and rubbed his head for him.”
LJ
Were having a birthday celebration tomorrow. Last night we set up all the patio furniture and tents. This evening we will be hanging the lights and setting the tables along with chairs. I have a speciall little round table where the cake will be displayed. However, tonight I have a late evening planned out for him that will benefit us. I have a special ordered pizza with all his favorites to be delivered at 8:45pm that will be accompanied with a sweet fun and flirty basket of goodies. Beginning with chocolates, fruits, wine and ending with a sweet twist of edible oils. I also have included a “for your eyes/use only” coupon-scrapbook that I created and special wrapped.
I am not much of a Jewelry person but over the years my husband has bought me several pieces well he’s been out of town for 5 days and is coming home today
so going to put on the Diamond cross Necklace that he loves lets see if he notices
This comment is for the trophy wife assignment – I am very lucky in the fact that my hubby likes me better in a t-shirt and jeans. I will go out of my way to be casual for him today!
This is harder than I thought to keep up with along with little kids, moms and family issues. Wow! I moving forward. Gonna try to get it all in.
I was planning on giving him a good back scratch today but he surprised me by coming home early because…get this…HIS SHOULDER HURT!! He had done a lot of work outside the other day I think he hurt it. So, I told him to lie down on my lap and I rubbed his shoulder. It was well received.
Actually Rachel I think you mowed your lawn and a NEIGHBOR’S Lawn. Extra points for that girl!
I met Bill & Pam this summer and they were so cute with each other. I meant to pick up their book and never got around to it. I mowed the lawn for my husband today (which I’ve never done before), so he would be able to relax when he got home from a long day of teaching & coaching. Now we’re snuggling on the couch together. He was shocked that I did that for him, instead of nagging him when he got home…like I usually do. Not exactly physical touch, but it saved him from some physical aches and exhaustion.
This is a tough one. My man is sensory defensive. He doesn’t like touch as a rule so massage is out. He is not tuned into sheets or pillows.
So-oooo what I plan to do is lightly scratch his back which he does like and as simple and silly as it may sound curl up against and behind him tonight in bed which he likes more than I do. He goes to bed much earlier than I do so this will be quite a surprise. Wish me luck!
We’ve been sleeping on a very painful futon mattress, and his side especially is a pit, so I think before he gets home I’ll turn the ‘bed’ around,flip the mattress, change the sheets and get the massage oil out. The massage would probably be more appreciated after sleeping on the futon, but he’ll have to make due with before.
My hubby loves to have his back scratched as he falls asleep. since we keep such different hours, I’ll go to bed early too.
My husband is not big into touch. I guess it comes from his upbringing as I saw his parents touch once in the years I knew them before my fil died. I will have to ask him what he would like but I think I know he will not want any of this. It is frustrating since I am big on touching and wish we had a more physical relationship.
My man loves a good massage. So I will break out the tingle massage oil and give him a treat. He will be so happy. 😉
I went out and bought a new massager ball and oil from Bath and Body works and set up a massage while our son took a nap. I covered our bed with a sheet, laid out a sheet for him, set the mood with music and scented oil and interrupted his afternoon by telling him it was time for his appointment. He got a massage that ended in “bonus day”
Before we were married I used to tickle his back soooo softly. It’s one of his favorite things. We just celebrated our fifth anniversary and were given new sheets as a gift from my father-in-law! 🙂 So tonight I’ll have our bed made up and some soft dusting powder to help me to a great job on his back. This comes at a great time as this week is a grulingly long week at work… and it’s only Tuesday. Can’t wait to see his reaction! Thank you for the project!
My hubby does not enjoy a massage in the least bit so I scratched his back for him. The kiddo was at Grandma’s…
I pulled out some lotion for a nice back massage… :).
After the kids were in bed I got him something to drink, popped some popcorn and we watched a movie of his choice (The Dark Knight). I also gave him a foot massage (which I cannot stand to do)