OK – I know I am going to get some comments on this post.
Let me be clear – while I am using the word “date” really what I am talking about is making time to connect with your spouse. I just happen to think dating is one of the best ways to do that.
With that being said, I am worried about the lack of dating among my friends (both flesh friends and webby buddies.)
In the survey results, the number one reason for people not dating was babysitting issues – not being able to afford said babysitter, or trust the ones you can afford. (Two of the people who commented were 1. My brother and 2. My neighbor Karyn. I love both of their kids so I guess it is time for Auntie Kathi to step up!)
But the second most popular reason was a lack of time in order to go out together. And that’s just a crying shame.
I have had several friends who have recently gone through empty nest syndrome. (No danger of that around here. Justen just told us he wanted to go for a master’s degree after college at San Jose State. Roger and I will never be alone…) But these moms have gone through the same pattern – gearing up to get the kids out of the house, then turning around and realizing the only one left is their hubby. Since she has spent so much of her life pouring into her kiddos, there hasn’t been a lot of time left over for bonding with her husband. Now – he is the only one left and she realizes that they haven’t talked about anything except the kids since 1995.
I know – at this point, you feel like the kids will never leave. But that is even more reason to date while the kiddos are at home.
It is so important that you not only be mom and dad, but that you be husband and wife first. Your kids will experience a deeper sense of security if they know that their parents are a cohesive team.
So if it is a choice between dating your spouse and one more activity for your kids, I vote for dating.
It is a great way to teach your kids:
1. Mom and dad are real people and really like hanging together – even without kids.
2. They are not the center of the earth.
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.