Spreading Great Gossip About Your Guy
Today’s Project: Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.
As cliché as it may sound, our husbands want to be our heroes. More than they want to know that we love them, they want to know that we respect them. They need to know that they’re never the butt of our jokes, that they’re the go-to-guy in every story we tell.
Make an opportunity today to spread some great gossip about your man. It doesn’t matter if it’s one of your friends or one of his; let that somebody know how blessed you are to be married to your guy.
Some key phrases you may want to put on index cards to help you remember:
? “I feel so lucky to have a man who knows how to do his own laundry.”
? “You know when I knew that my husband really loved me? When he could remember my order at Starbucks.”
? “I just love the way he is with our kids.”
? “He makes the best lasagna on the planet.”
Steering the Ship
A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it (James 3: 3-4 The Message). That’s what great gossip is all about.
As wives, we are often the ship’s captain, while our husbands are that huge ship. Words spoken in encouragement and love can go a long way to building our men up. But the opposite is true as well. There is nothing that can determine the direction of our husband’s day quicker than the words that are spoken to him in the morning.
Sometimes as wives, we forget the role we play in our husband’s lives. We all remember that great line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, spoken by Toula’s mom, “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck. She tells him which way to turn.”
OK, I don’t tell my husband which way to turn, but I do have an influence about how he navigates through his day.
I know that I need to be especially careful about my tone. Sometimes I think I am just oh-so-witty, when really it’s coming off as sarcastic and biting. It’s not enough to just say kind and encouraging words. I need to make sure that whatever words I choose only build up my husband, never tear him down.
That’s what great gossip is all about.
Death to the Dufus Dad
Our world encourages us to define our husbands by what is lacking in them. Need proof? Just turn on your TV.
Watch any channel for more than ten minutes and you’re almost assured of seeing some man playing the role of the dufus dad. You know the one; his wife is always right, his kids don’t respect him, and he’s the punch line of every joke, accompanied by a laugh track. Even his best friend, the dog, thinks he’s kind of a moron.
I feel like it’s time for a man revolution in our generation. No, I don’t want to go back to the times where women were tethered to the oven by their ever-present strand of pearls. But, I do want to see a place where men are allowed to be men and they can be respected for it.
My warrior cry will be, “Death to the Dufus Dad!”
But I digress.
OK – so you have bragged on your husband, now what?
Once you have done your bragging, let your husband know what you said, and to whom. He needs to know that he is the good guy in every story you tell.
With our friends, we have a lot of influence over the “tone” of our speech. Here’s how my friend, Michelle, puts it when it comes to steering away from complaining about her husband, Rick:
“I love this Project and have practiced it for years, even when I was irritated with my husband. Sometimes hearing yourself point out the good stuff gives you the power to change your own perception of something that’s annoying — of course, not that Rick is EVER annoying.
Another thing I think about… how women can help other women. When a woman is complaining about her husband (not confiding, because I think there’s a difference and we should be there for our buddies), but when it’s a light-hearted complaint, where a friend may be stuck in a rut, thinking about something in regard to her husband, I try and gently encourage her to see the goodness in her husband. I might say something like, “Yeah, he likes to watch football, but think of how he’s also bonding with your sons by sharing something they have in common!” You know, I try to find the silver lining and ‘illuminate’ that for my friend.”
While your greatest need may be for your husband to tell you that he loves you, most guys are programmed differently. He wants, at his very core, to know that you respect him. He wants to know that you are proud of him and that he is the one you would choose again if given the chance.
This goes a long way to solidifying you as a team, as well. There’s no way that anyone in my family would ever say a word against
my husband. They know that I’m on his side, and it’s a gossip-free zone around me (unless the gossip is about how great he is.)
So to be entered into today’s giveaway: 1. Tell us something awesome about your husband, and then tell your husband that you bragged on him.
And what will you win? A copy of The “What’s for Dinner?” Solution. Food and flattery – does it get any better for a guy?
As I was reading this I was reminded of Superbowl Sunday when all the new ads were coming out (they were the only reason I watched this year’s game!). There was a commercial with David Beckham modeling his new line of underwear. Now I know he’s a good-looking guy, but I really didn’t pay a ton of attention to it. Then someone on twitter tweeted: David Beckham 1; American Husbands 0. I tweeted back that my hubby’s arms and abs beat Beckham’s any day. Then I texted hubby and he was thrilled at the compliment.
i have been married 14 yrs 4 great kids. Love to read. I have a wonderful hard working husband. A great Father. he goes camping, Boy Scout Meetings, projects, fundraisers with our 3 older kids. And spends time cuddling with our baby. xoxo My Hubby
Something I share all the time is that my husband never yells at me! EVER, its a little odd to me since I grew up in a home where talking loud was normal lol He is such a loving man that whenever we do get mad at each other he makes sure no matter how hard it is to always hold back the mean things and the yelling (can’t say im as good as he is lol)
My husband is the best dad! He makes special time each weekend to spend one on one time with each of our 4 kids. With him working all week he only has a few hours in the evening so he spends that time with all of us. The kids on Friday start talking about their time they will get with just their dad. With 4 kids its hard to get that individual time without another sibling crashing in! It can be as simple as running errands with 1 kid or heading to the park to play catch- they all get blessed with their own dad time!
I love my husband. The neighbors get so jealous when they see him bringing me home a Starbucks drink before he heads out the door to work. And after 17 years together he can still make me laugh like no one else can.
My husband and I are doing some volunteer work at this time and so we both have about the same schedule. I was feeling like the home work load was all being placed on me. My husband lovingly took over vacuuming our home twice a week and taking care of taking out all the trash! It has made such a difference in my previous feeling of being overwhelmed. I love him so much.
My husband makes me breakfast almost everyday and he fixes my lunch sometimes, too. Everybody gets jealous at lunch! That’s MY man!
My husband does the dishes on Sundays ( the kids have the weekdays) so I cook, which I love, but don’t do dishes. He takes ballroom dancing lessons with me. He is very unselfish, good with helping the kids study, texts me “I love you’s” and is spiritually strong. I could go on… but I”ll just say, no wonder he is the love of my life and I feel blessed everyday.
My husband rocks my world because he can fix anything! House, car, stroller wheel…all I have to do is ask and he fixes it! I never have to pay money to call the repairman! I also totally love that he tries to make me laugh when I’m feeling grumpy. He never lets me wallow in my grumpiness, which is good for me AND the kids!! 🙂
I love my husband for encouraging me to take me time. I overlook it because it isn’t wrapped up in a box and it doesn’t seem to be an act of service. Oh but it is! He takes care of the 3 rugrats while I am out on a bike ride or sitting in the corner of a book store sipping coffee. I am so grateful for this really sweet act of service.
Oaky so I have add in one more comment. My husband is a rock star just because he eats my cooking. I try to make homerun meals, but well sometimes (more often than not) I just strike out. But what a guy, after 10 years, he’s still hanging on.
I am so blessed to have my “man” in my life. He is currently working an insane work schedule, yet when he walks in that door, the children and I are his number #1’s. Nothing else matters. It is such a blessing to have husband be the leader, both physically and spiritually.
After 46 years, my husband still wants to please me, and tells me he loves me everyday–and he still thinks I’m sexy. So glad “love is blind”! 😀 (He won’t laugh out loud at my jokes, however, even though I am very funny).
He loves the Lord, and our kids and grandkids, too, and says he is such a blessed man!
He takes out the trash (condo building trash bin is a little to high for me to get the bags in right)
I go out to my way to tell our daughter and my mother-in-law how fabulous my hubby is. I hit a home run when he got my dead car started and drove it IN REVERSE to the dealership (it was stuck in reverse and wouldn’t come out) and I told our 5 year old that Daddy was a rock star bc of this. She still quotes me on this and that was in July! 🙂
Thankful I have a husband that is very understanding! He rocks in the kitchen too.
Thank you Kathi for your faithfulness and great projects.
My hubby has been working overtime on controlling his anger and language and is doing a great job! I’m really proud of his progress and commitment to being a better dad.
My husband has been working nights for a couple of months. We are all still adjusting to this. Every night, before he goes to work, he continues to do our nightly routine with our boys. It means so much to me that he makes time to do this before he leaves.
My husband is amazing. I really take him for granted sometimes, and I need to fix that. He is always willing to pitch in around the house, with the kids whatever. He has a long, sometimes awful commute and still comes home and lets *me* go into our room and chill out for a while bcs he knows that being with 5 kids all day can be stressful. He works our Moppets program faithfully every meeting and doesn’t complain. I just can’t say enough about him. We have a date night on Saturday and I just can’t wait to hang out with him. Smart, funny, kind, loving, involved, tolerant and thoughtful–I definitely hit the jackpot! 😉
I was reading through my Facebook feed a couple weeks ago and saw that the Eerie Horror Fest was looking for movie judges. Told my hubby about it pronto. He got online emailed the head honcho and now he is going to be a judge! He loves horror movies, I am so glad that he will get to do something that he will really enjoy! I am proud of my Hubby for jumping at the opportunity!
My wonderful and lovely husband called me after he got off work yesterday and told me that we would be making a shoping, dinner and possibly a movie trip on Saturday. I have been wanting to get out of the house and go shoping (not necessary to buy anything). He is such a sweet guy and I am excited to spend a whole day doing fun things as a family! Love that guy!!!
Aside from being a great husband and dad, my husband is amazing at his job. People like working with him and his boss appreciates and believes in him. Last night he showed me his review (and bonus), and I’m so proud of him!
Praise God that you are encouraging us women to be biblical helpmates and to respect and love our husbands. Thank you for making yourself available and being obedient.
My husband is a selfless leader! Not only does he serve our country but he is a peace officer in the military! The sacrifice that he makes is so great! He works LONG hard hours and comes home and still helps me with our children. He is the Best daddy in the whole world and is so devoted to raising his children to follow God since this was something he didn’t have a child he is determined to give our kids the best of the best. And he shows our kids daily what it is to dye to our self and pick up our cross and follow Christ, especially when he goes to work. I am honored to be his wife.
My hubbie does the stuff I hate. He even scrubs the shower with his big, strong muscles and does a much better job of it than I do! I’m over the moon about this! How’d I get so lucky?
My hubby is the patient one in our family and Thank goodness for him! He gives the kids tennis and ski lessons, he knows I don’t have the patience for that! He’s my son’s football coach and is so passionate about helping and encouraging him. But most of all he works at home, so I’m able to work out of the home and is there every afternoon picking them up at the bustop and makes sure they have their homework done and many times they have the house picked up before I get home from work. That’s such a blessing for me! Thanks for doing this mini project, they do need to be acknowledged and respected!
I love your website and I agree men do not get the respect they deserve. My Husband is so totally the best. He is disabled and not able to work, so I work. He takes care of me and everything in the house. He doesnt let his pain get in the way of taking care of me. He always tries to make life easier for me. I didn’t always think he was the best and this caused a lot of heartache for us. Now I try to tell him everyday things I am thankful for and that I appreciate the things he does. He is always there for me and I love and appreciate him.
My husband is a great provider, hard worker, and loves to help out at church where ever they need it.
My husband does all the shopping (because I hate shopping), and he’s actually really good about remember to use the coupons. And he cleans the bathroom. Can’t get much better than that. =p
My husband is so patient with me, I’m a bit of a scatter brain with everything. He is my rock. I know that I am very blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life.
I have to say, not only did I hope to make my hubby’s days, I posted on Facebook how great he is and I’m feeling pretty good too!!!:)
I loved this post. Our guys thrive on praise.
I love my husband because he is so great with our kids. He decided 5 years ago that being at home with the kids was more important than a high paying job – he has been a full-time Stay-at-home Dad for that long. He knows the right thing to say and the right thing to do when we are challenged. He is a very faith-filled man and I am so very proud of him.
After arriving home after 9 pm, I discovered the kitchen was cleaned up thanks to my wonderful husband! He’s pretty awesome!
My husband is a great Bible Teacher and I am proud that he has taken such a positive role in our house and at our Church.
I am Blessed.
My hubby got up early this morning just to fix our Internet because he couldn’t bare the thought of me not having it all day!!(though I would have lived) he’s also taking the time to configure and set up a new hard drive for my photography work! I would be lost without his computer expertise!
My husband is a wonderful caring man. It is nothing for him to grab the laundry and start it for me. When it comes to dishes it is a team thing not just my job. He even is a fantastic griller so when the weather is nice enough he cooks our dinner. He is also very accepting of my 2 children from a previous marriage as if they are his own. It is nothing for him to help them with their problem.
My husband is a great help in a lot of areas. For example, yesterday he took take care of my girls all night so I could go to Bible Study with some friends. Today he checked my daughter’s school work because I got behind in my day. And the list could go on and on…
I’m laying in Kenny’s arms on the sofa listening to his muffled little snore and thinking about all of the things he does for me. My health has been poor for weeks maybe over a month now with my back issues from 2 fusion spine surgeries, then a kidney infection, then a bladder infection, kidney stones leading to hospitalization and now weird muscle spasms down my shoulder all the way to my wrist, I can barely function. (in legal terms I am categorized as “permanently disabled” but there are some good days when I can do things that I can’t always do on other days. But today Kenny got up bright and early, drove our grand daughter Chloe to school, went to juvenile hall and waited for hours to pick up our son (technically his step-son) after his violation and he did it all with our 2 year old son, Macen, to save me from and exertion and added pain. To top it off he brought coffee and lunch to my bed where i was wrapped in a heating pad and pressed up against a warm massaging arm at my shoulder. He carried me to the bathroom when I needed every time and then drove me to an emergency Dr appt. to have my new stabbing muscle pain diagnosed. By the time he went and got my medication I was doing better, but he continued caring for Macen, talking some serious things out with our teenagers regarding house rules and expectations and then did our kitchen. And here I am…loved and cared for after all the years of struggling so badly in previous relations. The difference; this one is God centered. Love my life! Thanks Kenny Lee Williams, you have come so far, and I’m so glad I got you! And yes Kathi, I read it all to him from my facebook page before I copied it to your blog.
My husband is a great father 🙂
Hey Kathi, Hope you are feeling better! Been praying for you 🙂
Your challenge today inspired me to poll my girlfriends on Facebook and give them all a chance to brag publicly about their hubbies! I started off the brag fest by saying that my favorite thing about my hubby is that he makes me laugh everyday WITHOUT FAIL!!! Even on my gloomiest of days 🙂
(Then I tagged him in my post so that he’ll be notified when he logs in later ^_^ )
I’m excited to see what all my friends have to say 🙂 And I agree that there isn’t enough hubby edification taking place in our society…so sad 🙁 I hope this holiday our fellow married ladies can focus on the positive ^_^
My husband is getting healthy this year. He started Couch to 5K and is doing so well, even with the Charlie Horse he came home with tonight. I am so proud of him for wanting to be around to help me with these awesome kids of his and enjoy our grandchildren together, something his father didn’t get to do. I’m going to go tell him how much I love him for doing this for us, even as he rolls his eyes at me yet again for bragging on him.
I have to brag all the time at hoe great my husband is at cleaning up. I typically cook dinner but the kids clean the table and he washes the pots and pans, wipes the counters, wipes the table…all while I sit and relax. I do brag about him often when he cleans up or helps with laundry. He also cleans both bathrooms almost every week. But, I never think to tell him I was bragging about him. I guess he needs to know, right?
I love that no matter what is going on, my husband will drop everything to help me fix things. Todays project: leaking pipes in the basement.
My husband is a really great dad. He takes both of our kids on special ‘daddy dates’ to spend quality time with them, and he’s great about helping out with the every day stuff like dishes and kiddie bathtime, too. He unloaded the dishwasher tonight!
I made a big boo-boo by not opening the mail and consequently my hottie hubby had an expired gas card which he discovered at the pump. When we discussed it, he was gracious and forgiving. How blessed am I!
Kathi,
I loved your blog….men don’t get enough of this “bragging” in today’s world. What’s especially great is having your husband “overhear” your comments as you chat on a cell phone or talk to a neighbor. Thanks again for reminding us to go to war over the “Dufus Dad” image…Thanks a lot, Hollywood.
By the way I always figured if you complain a lot about your husband people will wonder what kind of bad judgement you have to have picked him for a mate.