Making Your Marriage Rock; DIY Holidays
I walked into the kitchen and saw a box addressed to me. I wasn’t surprised – I get package for my ministry all the time. But when I saw that the return address was one of my favorite stores, I knew something was up.
Roger stood next to me at the table and said “Happy Un-Birthday!” as I opened up the package: a pair of shoes that I craved (and may have posted on Facebook,) that we couldn’t afford but I thought were adorable. Roger ordered them for my Un-Birthday.
If you’ve been to our Marriage Project Retreat, you’ve heard about my Un-Birthday: One day, when a sales clerk was asking my birthday, Roger chimed up with “Oh it’s April…”
I had to stop him right there.
“Um, Roger. April is the birthday month of your FIRST WIFE…”
Gulp.
OK. So I had a decision to make: was I going to hang this over his head, or let it pass. I let it dangle for a few minutes.
We had a good laugh about it, and I would bring it up in conversation every once in a while just to make him a little more uncomfortable.
Two months later, on April 14th, Roger told me to get dressed up. He was taking me to dinner, a movie, and out for a little shopping. I was dumbfounded. Why would he be doing that?
“Because it’s your Un-Birthday. I wasn’t wrong when I gave the guy April as your birthday month, but it was your Un-Birthday, so we have to go celebrate now. “
Ever since then, in the month of April, Roger takes me to dinner and a movie, and either takes me shopping, or buys me a gift. He calls it the most expensive mistake he’s ever made.
And we both love it.
We love having an inside (and now that we’ve spoken on it and written on it, it’s an outside) joke. We love having a silly night that is all just for us.
Why not do the same for the one you love?
Create a holiday all around your husband. It could be an un-birthday, or the anniversary of your first date, or International Taco Night, or your annual viewing of “The Princess Bride”. I’m not saying you give him another date to remember (or forget). You come up with something silly or fun and get the ball rolling.
So, if you were to come up with an off the wall celebration for your and your man, what would it be? Tell me in the comments below by Friday. And let’s do a little giveaway – I will randomly select one winner to receive two copies of THE MARRIAGE PROJECT!
I think “Ice out of the Lake” day would be a day to celebrate. We moved to northern Minnesota 2 years ago and by the end of January, we are both tired of the long winter months-yet have more to go. There’s lots of talk (and contests in some communities) about when the ice is officially out of fhe lake(s), so an indoor picnic would be a great way to remember that summer may actually come again to Minnesota (he love to fish and golf). i would have to celebrate it the day after to know the “official” day. I think I would turn up the heat, have some summer clothes ready to put on, and have the picnic on the carpet. By the way, we were in the same college class (1970) and I had only spoken to him a couple times. After the new semester started, he stopped at my table during lunch and we talked. That night he called and said “Hi, this is John” . i said, “John who?” He gave his name, to which i replied “Who??” John: “I’m the guy who spoke with you at lunch” (he said he was about to hang up at this point.) Me: “Oh, HI !!” , we talked and he asked me out for a date. The rest is history, but we celebraHte almost every year. He often calls for a date saying “This is John”. If I catch on right away I respond, “John who?”
Oh Kathi, that is the sweetest thing ever!! Your man is something special to you and for you!
If I had to make a non-celebration celebration, I would pick, “Hey look, it’s evening the children are in bed and we have errands to run!”
My poor man works all day and then volunteers to go run errands in the evening when the girls are in bed. I know he just wants to stay home but he doesn’t want me out at night running errands so he does them for me.
This was really hard for me to think about. With our lives revolving so much around our kids, we have unfortunately lost the focus on our marriage. We still make it work but don’t give it the time and attention that it should have. Long before we had kids we would go, almost weekly, to the bowling alley and play pool. I think that’s what my DIY Holiday would be. I’d love to get back to the basics of us, head over to the bowling alley and let him win at a few games of pool. And by ‘let him win’ – I can’t play to save my life, but I do know how to hold the cue 🙂 Thanks for making me think, and giving me the ideas. I think this weekend will work!
It just so happens that the anniversary of our first date falls on Valentines Day and actually happens to be my favorite holiday ( always has beeen) so my DH has always made a big deal out of that date, taking me on full weekend get-aways, flowers wine chocolates and such. Never thought about it really, but he has made a holiday out of the holiday. He also sents me flowers on days like, “Secretaries Day” ( I’m not a secretary) lol he is very good at making me feel special. Guess he has kinda spoiled me in that way. SO I have got to get creative… Maybe I will get him a gift and make his favorite dinner and treat him like Royalty for Presidents Day each year:)
I think we would celebrate opening day of baseball season! We have always enjoyed going to games together, it was a big part of our dating years.
I would do it on the anniversary of the day he proposed to me. We waited 2 hours to sit for dinner and proposed on the beach in a incoming storm. I would probably plan a beach dinner on a warmer night in the same spot, and make it a tradition!