One of the biggest key for the peace that Roger and I experience in our relationship is the understanding of our personality types. We understood from an early point in our marriage that opposites do indeed attract – but they can also drive each other crazy. For the next several week on Wednesdays, Roger and I will be sharing about how to be married well to each of the personalities.
But first, most of us fit into one personality more than they others. I am firmly in the Expressive camp, while Roger is Analytic. Knowing what camp you fall in (generally) and where your husband falls (generally) will help you understand how you feel loved and respected – and the same for your man.
So here are some general ways to determine what your personalities are. Once you have an idea of where you both land, tell me in the comments (ie, I’m a Driver and my husband is a Amiable…) I think that not only will this be informational, but also a whole lot of fun.
Expressive
- Natural salesmen or story-tellers
- Warm and enthusiastic
- Good motivators, communicators
- Can be competitive
- Can tend to exaggerate, leave out facts and details
- Sometimes would rather talk about things than do them
Driver
- Objective-focused
- Know what they want and how to get there
- Communicates quickly, gets to the point
- Sometimes tactless and brusque
- Can be an “ends justify the means” type of person
- Hardworking, high energy Does not shy away from conflict
Amiable
- Kind-hearted people who avoid conflict
- Can blend into any situation well
- Can appear wishy-washy
- Has difficulty with firm decisions
- Often loves art, music and poetry Highly sensitive
- Can be quiet and soft-spoken
Analytic
- Highly detail oriented people
- Can have a difficult time making decisions without ALL the facts
- Make great accountants and engineers
- Tend to be highly critical people
- Can tend to be pessimistic in nature
Go ahead- tell me where you both lan
d!
Join the upcoming Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study with Kathi Lipp, The Husband Project.
Find out all the details here. Sign up today because we start June 20, 2016!
I am amiable and she is driver! How can we live together with harmony
my husband and i are both drivers eeeeep any tips ahhahah
I am 70% Expressive with the rest being driver amiable and analytic
My wife is 85% analytic and the rest is driver and enable an expression
I am Driver-Analytic & my husband is all Amiable.
Yes same thing to me! We are planning to be married this coming december ! Please any kind of advice on how we can leave together peacefully will be appreciated !
I’m Expressive and my husband is Analytical and everyday is an argument about the same things. I don’t know how we can get past the resentments, broken promises, lost trust and respect and I seem to be the only one putting in effort even though he says he doesn’t see it and he used to say he would stay up all night if that’s what it took to talk something out and how he wants our marriage to work more than anything in the world but his actions and behavior say the opposite. If I bring up an issue or how I’m upset with something he said or did, he just spins it on me and says I do it too, keeps a scoreboard, says I talk to him like shit with my tone but what do you expect when you don’t listen to me, neglect, past verbal abuse and in front of our daughters and says I don’t meet his sexual needs even though he knows it’s because of an illness I’ve had that isn’t my fault. I’m very emotional and sensitive and I think it’s human nature to talk in a certain tone depending on how you feel and he says it’s a choice. He has now started drinking everyday from the time he gets home until he goes to bed and we have damaged our children by them hearing our yelling and arguments, verbal abuse always after his drinking and he shows me no support, appreciation, love, respect and we both basically are on our last straw with the other. The past gets brought up into every argument and no matter what I say he says you do it too and that I play the victim card which is crap. How can he say he cares but then his actions are the opposite? I don’t want my kids childhood to be remembered this way and I’m a stay at home mom and he controls the money and I’m not a spender but he calls himself an ATM but when you’re married, it’s supposed to be our money. I work my butt off just don’t get a paycheck for it. I need help to save my marriage but nothing ever changes even after we talk something out and promise each other not to do something anymore but if I do it, he says I broke a promise and makes me feel like the worst person alive but if he does it, he just shrugs his shoulders like so what. I’m desperate and we are both miserable and have made our kids miserable.
I am analytical driver and my husband is pure expressive. I still don’t know how to deal with him!!
SHARONHUME80 @GMAIL. COM
I am mostly amiable but when my feelings are hurt I can be expressive and my wife is a driver with a little expressive. Right now we are having issues newlyweds and I get the cold shoulder for days after our disagreements. Would like to her your opinion please.
My husband is a DRIVER-so I am all 4 (depending on the need) I am probably an expressive but years of discipline and hardships have taught me to be more work and task oriented.
Thank you for sharing!
My husband is a Driver and I am Amiable. I am sensitive and he is very blunt. He is type A+++ and I am very much the opposite. He seems to argue about everything. If I don’t agree with him he keeps arguing his side. He rarely sees my side.
I am amiable and my wife is a mix analytical and driver. We never agree on anything. She is so focused on certain issues in our life right now thay she neglects other things in our life..
Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is
getting more from this website, and your views are nice in favor
of new viewers.
Ok, I am an amiable and my wife is a driver/analytical mix….wow what a mix!! Very hard to communicate with her..!
I am amiable he is analytic. He is very difficult to handle
I am amiable. My husband is an analytic but also a little bit of expressive.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! He’s a Driver…it all makes sense now. Lol, it’s funny how knowing these kinds of things can prevent unnecessary conflict.
It’s my first time on your blog:) Thanks for the Wedded Info!
nice article. very informative indeed. It is notable and interesting to know that there comes some changes in one’s personality after marriage. And these changes depend upon the status of married spouses like whether they married happily or unhappily, as i wrote at
http://clicksforit.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-your-marriage-influences-your.html
I AM ANALYTICAL AND MY HUSBAND IS A DRIVER
I’m expressive and he’s analytic. My Dad is also analytic. The longer I’m married to Aaron, the more analytic I’m becoming but I don’t see him becoming more expressive. Hmmm.
I’m Expressive and Amiable..My husband will be looking this over once he gets home from school. I can’t wait to learn more!
I would say I am a mix of amiable and analytical and my husband is a mix of expressive and driver. I love this project you are doing and loved today’s email about being married to an analytical! So true its funny. 🙂
I am an expressive driver and the hubs is an analytical driver.
At least we both drive. lol
I am amiable and my husband is analytic
We’re both amiable
My man is analytical and I am expressive. No surprises there!
My husband is an analytical driver and I am amiable…. :0)
I’m a mix of driver and analytic and my husband is an expressive
I am a mix of amiable and analytic and my husband is a driver.
I’m amiable and my hubby is a driver. I had us both pegged, but I asked my husband what he thought and he agreed with me.
I am expressive and he is analytic.
i’m laughing so hard! my husband is definitely expressive and i can’t figure out which one i am. i’m a couple of each but not strongly any of them. so i asked my husband what he thought and he said, “you’re the complete package!” ha ha good answer! 🙂
I am analytic and my husband is probably expressive.
My hubby is a driven man who is very expressive! He is a salesman by trade and very competitive, and he is a Driver. Within the family he communicates quickly and to the point, and within the walls of the home can seem tactless and brusque. I am the Amiable who avoids conflict….remember, my hubby wants to take care of things head on, and I appear wishy-washy to him. Especially in areas that concern our children. I also have a hard time making a decision without all the facts. I like to think it over, reason it out, actually, talk myself into it. My hub will just say, “No!” or “Yep!” We have four teens in our home and they are spinning circles around us. My problem is I like to make everyone happy. There’s no way I can, and My hubby would say focus on him and make him happy! Aargh!
Married 34 years and have 8 children…this is my 27th year of homeschooling!
Hubby is amiable and I am a driver.
I am an Expressive Driver and Russ is the other two. Bwahahahahahahaha. Or he is amiable about being analytical.
I’m amiable, and my husband is an expressive driver.
I’m amiable- hubby is driver:-)
Okay, I think I would consider myself the amiable type and my husband the driver
I’m a driver and my husband is amiable
I am not married, but I am amiable and would like my future husband to be expressive.
I am amiable and he is a driver.
I think I’m expressive and dh is amiable
I’m amiable and he’s analytical.
I’m VERY expressive, he’s VERY much the analytic. Sometimes we drive each other crazy, but we make a point to laugh about our differences and it works out great!!!
I am amiable and he is a driver.
I’m amiable, he’s expressive 🙂
He’s a driver. I’m pretty expressive and we are both analytical.
I am expressive and amiable whereas my husband is the driver and analytical.
I’m a driver and he’s expressive.
He’s a Driver and I’m more amiable, but we can both be very expressive, especially when it comes to being warm and enthusiastic.
I’m an expressive driver (sorry, just couldn’t choose between those two) and my husband is an amiable.
I am a driver and hubby is amiable.
I’m a driver and my husband is an amiable. Very curious as to your recommendations for creating more harmony given our personality types!
I am amiable and hubby is a driver.
I’m amiable and he’s a driver!
Amy,
My husband and I are the same. I’m amiable and he’s a driver. I found it funny that both of us are Amy’s. Wonder what that says about the name. LOL
I think it must be the name 🙂 I am definitely an amiable. My husband, however, doesn’t really fit firmly in any category. He’s a little bit driver and a little bit expressive.
I am “Driver” and he is “Amicable” — reading the bullets was like drawing a picture of us both.
I am amiable and my husband is analytic
I’m amiable and hubby is analytic.
Okay…I am expressive and Olav the Virgo, physicist,German is analytical.