I looked at my to do list and there was nothing on it but guilt, unrealistic expectations, and oh, did I mention guilt?
Why do I keep adding things to my list that have now business being there?
God has not given you more than you can handle, but there are so many times when things are on our list that have no earthly reason being there.
Why do we do it to ourselves? Here are a few things that creep into my list:
Ego Why do you think people start to ask of favor of you by buttering you up? “You are the only one who will get it right.” “We need someone with your leadership skills.” We love being the go to person for those to-do tasks. It gives us a tiny thrill to know that the teacher appreciation party won’t be the same without our homemade snicker doodles, that the meeting won’t be the same without our input, that your friend’s daughter only feels comfortable with you as a babysitter – no one else.
There is a special feeling that comes from feeling like you are the only one.
But when I do things to feel needed and special, I’m putting my value in other people’s hands, and not in God’s word, where it belongs.
Refusing to Ask for Help There are a few of us who feel that asking for help is a sign of failure – if I can’t do it myself, I have no value.
When I start to feel this way, I think of all the ways that my husband and I help each other. I’m more of a starter – I have the energy and excitement to carry new ideas and get other people on board. Roger is the one who can make a plan, stick to it, and actually get the project completed. We need to ake for help – there is almost no task that we are designed to do alone. God has formed us to need partners – whether it’s you husband, your co-worker, or your best friend.
Hesitancy to Say No When we say yes to someone’s request, we are often saying no to something that we should have on our list. If your list is filled with other people’s yeses, your life is probably filled with enough “no”s to make you miserable. People pleasing please people – just not you.
Fear Control issues are based in fear. When you can’t let go of the details, when you can’t trust others with what God has called them to, you are letting fear control your list – and your life
The things that are supposed to be on the list? Those are not too much for me – and for God. God – help me to keep only those things on my list that are on your list for me.
Tell me in the comments below what is on your list that isn’t supposed to be. One of the commenters will receive In the comments below, tell me one area where you feel God is calling you to step out of your comfort zone – or has in the past. I would love to give one reader a copy of my new book Praying God’s Word for Your Life
The thing that strikes me as hilarious is that I was sitting down with my computer and my pad of paper to do a little catching up on pinterest and make out my to do list. Now I am thinking hard about items that I am going to add to it. There are probably a few things on there that I can delegate or I can just skip entirely.
I have so many projects that are on my to do list. I need to take them one or two at a time instead of putting them all on one list.
I have unrealistic expectations about what I can do on my own. I like control. I like to know what is going on with everyone and everything in my life. I feel a little out of control when I don’t. I feel God is working on this in my life through friends bible verses and great devotionals. I can’t control everything it is not my job to. I can’t fix everyone and I can’t save everyone. That isn’t why I’m here. I can do what God puts me on the path to and that is it. It is really hard to admit that.
Grocery shopping! Get off my list!
My hubby can do it happily. Sure, I’ll make the menu for the week and write the list….but dragging the kids (who only last so long in the cart and who decide half way through that they want to go back for a free cookie and then the anxiety of rushing to bag all my groceries because cashiers don’t help anymore) Ahhhh…it’s all too much!
cleaning my kitchen and praying in the kitchen. In my kitchen that’s where “sin” happens. The bewitching hour starts there and the first place hubby sees when coming home from work. It makes or breaks his day also he uses the breakfast nook for answering all his email. God wants me to keep it clean and honor Him. He wants to pour blessings into our family. So instead of playing on the IPad during the time be praying in the kitchen.
Would love that book!
I take on too many projects at once and get burned out trying to do it all. Right now I’m trying to cut back and really focus on what needs to be done, and prioritize it. I really like your goal list for the week, and I’ve been doing that and it has greatly helped!
Planning. I LOVE to plan everything…so much that I will take the whole day to plan something and not get anything done!
Unfortunately I can relate to every single one of your points. God has taught me a lot and I have grown a lot in each of them, but still have so much to learn and let go. I think the one that strikes me the most right now is the “Ego”. I tend to say “yes” to things because I care too much what others think of me. Instead I need to only focus on what God has for me to do and what HE thinks of me.
Fear for sure, but not fear that I can’t trust others, but rather fear that I am not good enough unless I do it all and do it all well. And in a size 6 pair of jeans to boot, of course. Ha!
my to do list… have had to create my own form to categorize… I think I let it get so crazy because of many reasons… I hate to ask for help, because then I can’t
say I did it by myself… have a list to make it look like I accomplished something… but the problem is what needs to get done and what needs to get on my list… never seems to make it or get completed…
“control” because “it’s just easier” to do it myself instead of training/teaching/mentoring my children (all teenagers) to do it for themselves
Most of my to do list is just housework. But the thing that holds me up the most is pain (I have migraines). And I don’t like to ask for help because I’m ashamed that I’ve let it get as bad as it has. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not in need of a hoarders episode! But I feel like maybe I should have a back-up plan, or maybe my kids should be more helpful, or maybe I should just have it more together.
Breaking my routine. I get so set in my routine that it stops me from helping others. I am afraid to change up my schedule with the kids (ages 1, 2 and8)
Making a baked good to share with neighbors, because I want to be the “good” neighbor who is the “great” baker. Instead I should be making the item for my husband and I, because we enjoy it, and then sharing if there are extras. God also is/has been challenging me to let go and purge mementos – cards from friends and children/patients I worked with, random items that my husband reminds me are useless, but sentimental nonetheless. It is so difficult for me to throw things away because I’m afraid I’ll need the item, could use it in the future, or forget the person or memory. It is definitely uncomfortable for me to throw so much away.
I struggle with an ongoing to-do list of all sorts of unfinished projects. Instead of listing one at a time, I seem to think they all should be there at the same time. And funny thing, I can’t cross them all off at once! Then I feel badly. I have my hands in several things at once instead of allowing God to use me little bits at a time but with ‘excellence’.
Ego is my biggest struggle. I love the honor of being asked. I also have a hard time saying “no.” “If you absolutely can’t find anyone else…” Why is it I get the feeling that they stop looking as soon as I say that?
I have such a hard time asking for help. I feel like I should be able to do it all – and when I can’t, I feel like I have failed. I love your comment, “God has formed us to need partners.” I will spend some time today thinking and praying on that one!
I am one that has a very hard time of saying no. I have so many on the list it’s hard to pick just one. I have always been a people pleaser, and I am in the process of trying to learn how to say no. I have always felt we are here to serve, and sometimes I tend to serve everyone. Thanks for this thought provoking devotion, I know it is what I need to dig into more. God bless you Kathi.
Right now I’m trying to figure out exactly where my writing fits on my “to do” list. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to begin a monthly article for a cool new women’s site (The You Are Project) that I am excited about. I’m praying for wisdom as to how the Lord wants to shape that and some of the other writing projects on my heart.
Not supposed to be on my list: Probably Tweeting. I can’t – for the sake of all things good – figure out how the heck anyone gets any gratification or sense of actual connection from Twitter, and I feel like I “should” understand. But that is just lost on me. I feel like I “tweet” out into this void, like some big black hole.