When It Needs to be a Simple Christmas – When You Have No Time
There could be a million reasons you are time crunched this Christmas – family obligation, a huge project at work, etc. One of the things I would ask you to consider – do you feel a time crunch every Christmas? If so, I would strongly recommend that you not only make some accommodations this year, but really take a hard look at your own expectations for the holiday season.
Fellow author Jill Davis, was forced to look at every area of her holiday celebration after her life took a decidedly different direction:
“When I got divorced 8 years ago and had to make huge changes in life with my four children, I asked them what was most important to them. We chose two traditions – the advent calendar and sugar cookies, plus their favorite gifts of pajamas and a book on Christmas eve. Since then each year I make the same offer, so far it remains the same traditions. So much easier than all the shopping, baking, cleaning, decorating I used to do. Instead of having a beautifully decorated home, fabulous things to eat and lots of Christmas presents and a frantic mom, they now have an easy going, low key, lightly decorated Christmas with a very present mom. Life is better. Christmas is easier. We are all happier.”
Sometimes we are so afraid of making changes because we’re sure that everyone is going to be so disappointed by what we’re not doing. The reality probably is that we’re doing a lot of things that are only important to us, and possibly only for tradition’s sake.
I did an advent calendar every year. It was big and cute and had 24 pockets at the bottom, each holding a wrapped ornament for my kids to take turns placing on the big felt tree.
One year I brought it out, hung it up, and announced to my 11year old, Justen, that it was his turn to unwrap the advent surprise. His response? “Is there money in there?” Um, no… “OK, then just let Kimmy do it.” I was crushed.
Truth was – Justen didn’t care about the advent calendar, and after a couple of years, neither did Kimberly. Yes, we still celebrated advent, at church. But they were past the age of wanting to unwrap knickknacks every morning for a month.
I wrapped up the advent tree and put it away, a little sad, but also realizing that it still had a future: seven years later my brother had a daughter, Elsa, who now does the advent tree, and someday Elsa will outgrow it, probably about the time that my kids will start having kids and the tradition can continue.
Here is what I’ve learned about Time and Christmas:
- You need to ask your family what is important. Immediately stop doing anything that your family doesn’t find important to their own holiday celebration.
- 2. You are the one putting the most pressure on you.
- 3. Everyone gets a pass. Give the rest of the people in your life a pass as well. Have the conversation. I told my extended family that we were happy to host this year, but I would be buying the entire meal. My mom wasn’t in a position to host this year, but was happy to shop and cook for us at my house. Everyone is contributing, but no one is being stretched.
- The phrase, “It just won’t be Christmas without…” must be banned from your vocabulary. The only thing you need to celebrate Christmas is a relationship with your savior. Not trying to get all Pharisee-ish up in here, but we must remember the rest is the fudge on the ice cream that is our true reason for celebrating. Don’t make yourself crazy with ideas like “It just won’t be Christmas if I don’t put all the ornaments on the tree.” Or “It just won’t be Christmas if we don’t see the Nutcracker this year.” Yes – it will still be Christmas – it will just be a Christmas where you aren’t stretching yourself too thin.
- Changing traditions gives you freedom. So you only put up a tree with lights, no ornaments (like we are doing this year.) Think how much fun it’s going to be to see those ornaments next year! Tradition can be a merciless slave driver.
What are your time tips for when you just don’t have time at Christmas – how do you still make it the kind of holiday you want to celebrate?
I did ask my boys what cookies they wanted and was surprised as well that they wanted more simple ones. I decided last year to WAIT on sugar cookies until Feb. We had a new baby and I could not do it all. This year I decided that worked well and we would wait again. The boys enjoy decorating cookies on a snowy day in Feb. I do feel the crunch this year as I decided to make some gifts and am running out of time…not wise. Next year, I will either start earlier OR just buy and wrap. While making saves money and is creative, it does not save time. My time, with four sons, is worth A LOT. Thank you for the message today–especially, the, well, all of it. Yes, I needed all of it! 🙂 Merry Christmas!
I don’t particularly like to bake, but when my mom passed away two years ago, I took on the mantel of “Christmas baker” because I was afraid something would be lost without the beloved cookies. This year I don’t have time to do as much baking, so I asked which cookies everyone really wanted. Surprisingly, they chose the easy caramel chocolate bar cookies! Turns out the more complicated ones, while enjoyed, just weren’t that important.
My 81 year old father loves to have the whole family at his house for Christmas Eve, but can’t do all the decorating like he use to. This year, I asked everyone to stop by between 6-8 on a specific night for a decorating/pizza party. Some people stayed the whole time while others could only come for a few minutes. Dad was THRILLED to have all the help, it was very little work per person, and we all enjoyed the “found time” together.
I LOVE # 4: Banning “It won’t be Christmas without…” from our vocabulary. It keeps our focus on what we CAN do, not what we can’t. Thanks for the reminder, Kathi! (And, I think, for a lot of the country, weather is putting a crimp into Christmas plans this year…)
I love this: “The reality probably is that we’re doing a lot of things that are only important to us…”
It’s so true. Most of the family does not notice all the things we’re doing and then we’re annoyed when it’s not appreciated. Each year when I decorate, I donate or throw away decorations that I don’t care about anymore or are broken, falling apart, etc. It makes for less I have to store, put up, take down, attempt to fix (adding to my other to-do pile)…
Another thing I do is start to take down the decorations a little early. I store ornaments in a gallon-sized ziploc bag and when no one is around, I snag a couple from the tree here and there and then it’s less daunting when it comes time to REALLY take it all down.
LASTLY, I owe you a THANK YOU for a tip you posted (last year?) about taking inventory for what supplies you have so you don’t unnecessarily buy more. Um… I had a HUGE fail in that department this year. This summer I bought a bunch of wrapping paper, bows, tags, etc from a garage sale and although I got a fabulous deal and I know it will get used someday…I DID NOT NEED IT!!! I was laughing at myself as I kept pulling out more and more supplies thinking of you and just saying FAIL FAIL FAIL in my head!! I have volunteered to wrap friends’ gifts this year so I can 1. serve others and 2. use up some of my ridiculous supply! Too bad I’m not in CA or I’d offer to wrap yours as well 🙂
I need to remind myself of Tip #2 every day!
Boy did I need to read this! As much as I love love love my star trek universe, I am just not feeling unwrapping and carefully displaying 60+ ornaments….and this tradition is all about me. It may still go up, but only if I don’t feel like it will be a time suck of a chore
Agree! And that is why I think asking your family what is important is such a great idea bc then you can spend the time and energy putting up what YOU like and is important to YOU and not wasting time on things you may think are important to them but really aren’t!!
Priceless suggestions. I especially love this: Ask your family what is important.
I can only imagine the stress that would be relieved by doing this!
As you noted, you might hear that what you thought was a must-do at all costs treasured tradition was one whose season had passed.