Last week, I published a list of 10 Things to Say or Text When Marriage Is Hard. The response? Overwhelming. It became one of my most popular posts of all time. And I get it – marriage is hard and we are all looking for ways to connect during the hardest times.
But as much as words mean during these times, actions can be even more important. So here is my list of what to do for your husband when marriage is hard.
- Feed Him When life is at its busiest and we just seem to keep missing each other, food can make all the difference. Cook him one of his favorites- your recipe, his mother’s, whatever food makes him feel like everything might be OK for just this one hour. Bonus points if you sit down together and eat.
- Brag on Him Let him hear you bragging on him – to your friend, to your kids, to his mom. Pick one thing he did this week (went to work on a hard day, played tickle monster with the kids,) and make sure he knows how much it meant to you.
- Unburden Him Is there one of his regular chores that you could take off his list. A few months ago, I took my husband’s car to get washed. We were both having a rough week and I knew that he hated going and having it washed. When I got home I asked my son where my hubby was. My son said, “He said he was going to go get your car washed.”
- Seduce Him Sex has an instantly relaxing power over men. It is usually the fastest way to break down tensions and meet his needs.
- Date Him Plan a date geared for him. Get a gift card to his favorite dinner spot and two tickets to a movie that involves a ball, something blowing up, or robots.
- Treat Him A Jamba Juice can improve my husband’s outlook on the world. Surprise him with a little something to let him know that you were thinking of him.
- Encourage Him When life is hard, your man may have trouble seeing his worth. Reassure him that you see it, even when everything around you both is difficult.
- Tag Him Give your man a Facebook shout out and let the world know why he is just that awesome.
- Pray for Him Set an alarm on your phone and stop and pray for your husband every single day.
- Surprise Him I have an alert on Amazon any time my man’s favorite author comes out with a new book. Surprise him with something he loves.
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.