Hey Friends – this is Kathi! I’m excited that you’re joining us for our 5 Days to a better marriage series. Day 1 is my friend Arlene Pellicane.. You are going to LOVE Arlene as much as I do- she is all about becoming the happiest version of you that you can be. I like that in a person!
Make your marriage great! – kathi
It’s Easy Being Married to You by Arlene Pellicane
A few years ago, James and I did a Daniel fast. He had lost 5 pounds and I had lost a pathetic half pound. As he teased me, I defended myself by declaring, “I’m not doing it to lose weight. I’m doing it as unto God!” Of course to be honest, I was trying to lose weight but it felt good to rationalize.
I began stewing in my mind.
My husband hurt my feelings. He’s such a know-it-all. Everything comes so easy to him.
Things were going downhill fast. I did not think it was easy being married to James at that moment. Keep in mind that we are fasting and here we are arguing! After awhile, we weren’t even sure what we were fighting about. We both concluded that we were under spiritual attack so we prayed together.
James disappeared and I heard the garage door open. I thought he was sneaking out to buy me flowers. But a few minutes later, he came in the room holding our box full of love letters from when we were dating, engaged and newly married. He asked me to pull out three random letters to read together. Hysterically, one of the letters was from our first months of marriage. It was my response to a question he had written, “What do I do that pushes your buttons and irritates you?”
I had written two things:
Leave me alone (don’t try to improve me).
Don’t think because it’s easy for you, it’s easy for me (i.e. last minute entertaining).
It was divinely funny! I was mad that losing five pounds was easy for James, but not for me. You can see how the Holy Spirit led me to pick that exact letter out of more than one hundred notes.
Since you live with your spouse, it’s inevitable that you will butt heads, step on each other’s toes, and rub each other the wrong way. When we make our disappointments larger than life and rehearse them over and over again, we can’t appreciate the good husbands we have. That’s why I’ve found it so helpful to replace the self-talk of “You are so difficult to live with” to “It’s easy being married to you.”
[Tweet “You live with your spouse. It’s inevitable that you will butt heads. #bettermarriage5”]
What are the things you love and appreciate about your husband? You can start a running list of reasons why it’s easy to love him. Here’s the start of mine…it’s easy to love James because:
He’s a man of integrity who keeps his word.
He laughs every day.
He’s a great listener and doesn’t just endure our conversations; he actually enjoys them (or at least always gives me that impression!).
He’s a pro-active father.
I’m just getting warmed up! Now it’s your turn to think about why it’s easy being married to your man. The more positive traits you look for, the more you will find. Leave a comment about one of your husband’s positive traits.
[Tweet “What are the things you love and appreciate about your husband? #bettermarriage5”]
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How’s this for something positive? Arlene’s Ebook, 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife is FREE today. It’s available through eBook distributors including, but not limited to, Kindle, Nook, Kobo, and Google Play. Get it now while it’s FREE!
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Gary Chapman). She has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.
Arlene lives in the San Diego area with her husband James and their three children.
To learn more and for free family resources such as a monthly Happy Home podcast, visit www.ArlenePellicane.com
He can always make me laugh.
My husband makes me laugh. It is one of his strongest traits.
The word ” becoming” has a powerful impact as it reminds me that I can change what I can moving toward speaking encouragement into our marriage and excitingly look for and expect positive fruit bearing.
Thank you for reminding me that it IS easy being married to my husband!!!
I love that my guy makes me laugh every day!
Thank you for your ebook!
The Lord has truly blessed me for 18 years with the BEST husband and father…a man of Christ in every way! Patient, kind, loving, understanding, caring, generous, smart, talented, loyal, hard working, AND MANY MORE. Thank you Lord!!
This spoke right to my heart, on our anniversary 🙂 Lately I feel like I’m so easily irritated by my husband, and we spoke and thought we too were under spiritual attack…and we’re still feeling it. This is the perfect exercise to do on our anniversary and to include (share with him) tonight. Thanks!
Thanks for the encouragement! My husband is very patient with me. He also wants me to be happy so he tries to make me laugh often. I’m so glad God put us together.
Love this! Thank you for the reminder!!
My husband is just so steadfast and strong and determined and committed. While I find the right brain artist inside me flies high like a kite. He is truly an anchor for me. It is so freeing.
I appreciate my husband’s perseverance especially when things get tough between us, and I love that he is open and willing to grow to make our marriage a better one.
Thanks for the great reminder to continue to look for all the wonderful things he does for me and kids instead of focusing on the things I find frustrating. My husband is patient, he has amazing faith, and so much more.
I appreciate my husband so much. He often is working three jobs to provide for us. He rarely ever misses an event the children are in and is extremely supportive. I love encouraging posts to remind us to also take time for one another too.
I love that my husband can fix anything!, and is generous with his time and talents to others, he regularly fixes things for many of our elderly church members
Just had the ” are we okay” question from my hubby. So this series is right on time. And it’s the reminder I needed to take an honest look at what I can do to help our marriage relationship flourish.
Thank you for the reminder that we are in a spiritual battle. tI’s easy to focus on our spouse as the problem.
My husband and I recently committed to seriously working on improving our marriage and since then God has been giving me confirmation, reinforcement, and encouragement in what we are doing through every resource I routinely read and listen too. Thanks for another vote for us being on the right path.
My husband is hardworking and loves our family. He is willing to do anything I ask him to do when I need help!
My husband has a great sense of humor and he still makes me laugh. But he takes the job of teaching our boys how to be men and providing for our family seriously!
This was just what I needed today! It is so easy to do the negative self talk (not just about my husband). My husband truly is a wonderful man & good father! I need to seriously sit down & make a list of all the reasons I love him & read it every time the negative self talk starts!! 🙂
My husband makes me laugh every single day.
I love that my husband is the spiritual leader & values going through life praying together as a couple and seeking God’s face in every decision we must make together.
I love that my husband is hard-working. He is patient with our girls when he teaches them how to play music(al instruments). He has put up with me for 16 years! :p
I appreciate how my husband works hard to provide for our family, how he takes care of our home, and how he can be sweet to me and our girls.
Mary you are blessed! 🙂
Thank you for the reminder to be thankful and appreciative of Husbands. Sometimes it seems easier to get mad at him when I’m actually mad at myself.
My husband hugs me a lot and makes me laugh.
This is a blessing. When we can concentrate on what’s wrong with everything…it’s nice to come back to what’s right in the world. God gave us our spouse, let’s bless them with words of kindness.
Yes, that is right! Love your encouraging words!
My dh gets up really early to go to work to provide for our family.
I am so glad I stumbled upon this 5 day series! My husband need this 🙂
My husband cooks dinner most nights.
Great article. My husband actually helps out around the house! We’re like the opposite of all the articles you see in magazines with exhausted wives wondering how they can get their husbands to help out more. Mine is all over the dishes and laundry. I’m very blessed.
Thank you the reminder; we were just caught up in the same boat. I thank him for his dedication & devotion.
My Husband makes me laugh!
I’ve really been working on changing my perspective. I love my husband because he is always there for me.
Thankful for my husband’s heart for understanding scripture, his provision, his desire to have fun and laugh, his dedication to our family
Don’t sweat the small stuff…keep looking at the big picture…be glad you have a mate
My husband is handsome!
He makes sure I feel loved by him every day! He is a gift to me.
Tracy, you’re the winner of the books for today’s post! Please send your mailing address to my Ministry Manager at sherri @ kathilipp dot com (type as a normal email address, of course!).
I love this so much! I’m so like you… I start to grumble and forget all the WONDERFUL stuff that God has given me in my marriage.
My husband makes me feel safe.
Thank you for the reminder. I have to change my attitude to respect and see the good things, not just harp on the bad.