Hey Friends – this is Kathi! I’m excited that you’re joining us for our 5 Days to a better marriage series. Day 1 is my friend Arlene Pellicane.. You are going to LOVE Arlene as much as I do- she is all about becoming the happiest version of you that you can be. I like that in a person!
Make your marriage great! – kathi
It’s Easy Being Married to You by Arlene Pellicane
A few years ago, James and I did a Daniel fast. He had lost 5 pounds and I had lost a pathetic half pound. As he teased me, I defended myself by declaring, “I’m not doing it to lose weight. I’m doing it as unto God!” Of course to be honest, I was trying to lose weight but it felt good to rationalize.
I began stewing in my mind.
My husband hurt my feelings. He’s such a know-it-all. Everything comes so easy to him.
Things were going downhill fast. I did not think it was easy being married to James at that moment. Keep in mind that we are fasting and here we are arguing! After awhile, we weren’t even sure what we were fighting about. We both concluded that we were under spiritual attack so we prayed together.
James disappeared and I heard the garage door open. I thought he was sneaking out to buy me flowers. But a few minutes later, he came in the room holding our box full of love letters from when we were dating, engaged and newly married. He asked me to pull out three random letters to read together. Hysterically, one of the letters was from our first months of marriage. It was my response to a question he had written, “What do I do that pushes your buttons and irritates you?”
I had written two things:
Leave me alone (don’t try to improve me).
Don’t think because it’s easy for you, it’s easy for me (i.e. last minute entertaining).
It was divinely funny! I was mad that losing five pounds was easy for James, but not for me. You can see how the Holy Spirit led me to pick that exact letter out of more than one hundred notes.
Since you live with your spouse, it’s inevitable that you will butt heads, step on each other’s toes, and rub each other the wrong way. When we make our disappointments larger than life and rehearse them over and over again, we can’t appreciate the good husbands we have. That’s why I’ve found it so helpful to replace the self-talk of “You are so difficult to live with” to “It’s easy being married to you.”
[Tweet “You live with your spouse. It’s inevitable that you will butt heads. #bettermarriage5”]
What are the things you love and appreciate about your husband? You can start a running list of reasons why it’s easy to love him. Here’s the start of mine…it’s easy to love James because:
He’s a man of integrity who keeps his word.
He laughs every day.
He’s a great listener and doesn’t just endure our conversations; he actually enjoys them (or at least always gives me that impression!).
He’s a pro-active father.
I’m just getting warmed up! Now it’s your turn to think about why it’s easy being married to your man. The more positive traits you look for, the more you will find. Leave a comment about one of your husband’s positive traits.
[Tweet “What are the things you love and appreciate about your husband? #bettermarriage5”]
How’s this for something positive? Arlene’s Ebook, 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife is FREE today. It’s available through eBook distributors including, but not limited to, Kindle, Nook, Kobo, and Google Play. Get it now while it’s FREE!
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Gary Chapman). She has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.
Arlene lives in the San Diego area with her husband James and their three children.
To learn more and for free family resources such as a monthly Happy Home podcast, visit www.ArlenePellicane.com
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.