When a member of your family is disgnosed with special needs, it can be a shock. It is not what you expected for your life, and you can feel cheated of the life you imagined.
Diane Dokko Kim knows this feeling all too well. Shortly after her family committed to full time ministry, they recieved a crushing diagnosis for one of their children. Diane stuffed her feelings for years, but has now seen that although God has not chosen to heal her son, He has chosen to heal her.
Join us as Kathi and Diane chat about how friends can come alongside special needs families in very practical ways like being honest in your struggle to have the desire to help, but not knowing how. They discuss how friends can ask for grace and to be taught how to help and serve, and how the church can also follow the biblical mandate to serve special needs families as well.
Resources Mentioned
Giveaway
For your chance to win one of 3 copies of Unbroken Faith, tell us how has someone shown up for you as a special needs familyr or something you have done to support a special needs family.
*Available to US residents only
Meet Our Guest
Diane Dokko Kim
Diane has served over 25 years in bi-vocational church ministry. In 2004, her first son was diagnosed with autism at age two and ADHD, which triggered profound personal, professional and spiritual crises.
In 2008, she began serving the disabled community as a special needs ministry consultant, equipping churches to become fully-inclusive faith communities, leading parent support groups, and speaking at churches and conferences. She is honored to partner with the ministries of Joni and Friends as a national speaker and ministry ambassador.
In 2012, Diane launched an online ministry, with a passion is to comfort others with the comfort she received from Christ (2 Corinthians 1:4). Her writing has been featured in Orange’s Parent Cue, Parenting Magazine, Dandelion
Magazine, and SpecialNeedsParenting.net. She strives to empower weary parents to experience the timeless relevance of God’s Word applied to the gritty realities of special needs family life, and to view their journey as a unique opportunity for spiritual growth and discipleship.
Whether by diagnosis, a death—or the death of a dream— everyone gets “crippled” by something. No one escapes the jagged edges of a broken planet, unscathed. All believers struggle to reconcile faith with disappointment. Sin and brokenness may steal, kill, and destroy indiscriminately. But Jesus is an equal opportunity Healer and Redeemer.
Diane and her husband, Eddie, live in the heart of Silicon Valley with their two young sons.
I was a single mom, newly divorced and moved to a new location. My 12 year old son with Asperger’s was having a severe episode with OCD because of all the changes we were going through, and I was staying awake night after night praying and asking God “What will happen to my Jonathan if something happens to me?”. Then one day, my unmarried friend of 20 years (whom my son loved) came over, sat at my kitchen table, and told me that if anything happened to me, she would come and live in our home and take care of Jon. Well, the floodgates of tears opened and all of the fear and anxiety came pouring out, because my wonderful Lord knew I just needed to hear a commitment like that from someone I knew and trusted.
Wow Laurie! What a gift! (And what a great mom you are. I love your heart!)
Yes, my friend gave me a wonderful gift that day and she is still a wonderful gift to me – 18 years later. Jon is now 30, and I am remarried (another gift from God). And I love your heart Kathi, the hearts of your guests, and the relevance of your podcasts – every one has ministered to me. It was my son who first heard you on the radio and told me about you. He gets a kick out of the fact the he “recommended” you to me!
I am a mom of two special needs children. One has Down Syndrome and the other one has autism. Things have gotten a bit easier as they have grown and they are such a sweet blessing. When our daughter was a baby, she had open heart surgery and was in the hospital for a month. A small group from our church came over to our house one Saturday morning and did all our fall leaves/clean up for us. That was so helpful since we didn’t have the time or energy to do this.
In general, I think that if others would deal with a special needs family in a kind and understanding way, that would be awesome. Don’t be judgmental and try to be understanding of their different journey.
I enjoyed the podcast. It was great!
Congratulations Bonnie! You are one of the winners of the giveaway! I will email you for your mailing address. Thank you for participating!
Blessings!
Chere, Kathi Lipp Intern
Loved the podcast! Food is the way to my heart! My daughter has had 27 surgeries in 16 years on top of countless medical procedures, and she is tube fed. I gave up cooking long ago, so anyone who brings a meal to our family is an absolute HERO! I remember specifically my bonus mother-in-law when we had the flu in January and my friends Sarah & Christy during surgery #26.
There was a day when my husband and I were physically and emotionally exhausted. My best friend sent my husband off to “Dude’s tennis night” which is something that he really enjoyed and had not been able to participate in. She engaged three close friends who love me and did not care that my house was a wreck to come to my house and bring dinner and a movie. They served dinner and cleaned up afterwards and then my friend held my son while I sat and just watched a movie with four women I love after having a great dinner. My son fell sound asleep in her lap and when my husband returned from tennis, he lifted him off and carried him up to bed. The next morning, I honestly felt like I had been on a luxurious vacation.
We had recently moved to a new town. I had my first neighbor knock at my door. She said God told her to put the rock down in the parking area so it would be easier for my daughter to get around, I was parking on grass and this sidewalk to our place was just a mess of mud. Out of the blue with a stranger and God knows our need and sends His witnesses. God showed me she wants to know Him better and needs someone to just have coffee with and share the more of the gospel with her!
In the summer of 2006, I had the opportunity to teach a paper craft at a camp for families affected by disability. It was at this camp that I felt a calling to minister to these awesome families and other families that placed in my path of life. I am truly blessed!
When my son was first diagnosed, I would go to a local support group meeting. It was a great source of comfort as well as information. I was terrified to have my son start school. Someone I had only met once or twice, give me a piece of paper with her name and phone number on it. She told me to call, her child went to the same school my son would be attending…..and she knew how I was feeling. She ended up being one of my BFFs. I really enjoyed this podcast and I have added this book to my reading list.
Isn’t it a tremendous, unspeakable blessing to be reassured that you’re not alone in this? And especially at such a tender time. No wonder she became a BFF. God bless you both!
I have two daughters with special needs. Having my mother in law show up consistently to have the girls for a day about once a month was a real help and gave us respite and courage to continue on.
That is a truly special mother in law –and relationship!– you’ve been blessed with. God bless you both as you work together to love and bless your dear girls and family… together.
I babysat for several special needs kids in high school to give the families regular breaks. In my 20’s God chose to put a special young boy with autism in a Sunday school class I was helping to teach. I moved up with him twice until he was old enough to be assigned a buddy closer to his own age and I was moving to a new place. Another girl in that Sunday school class had a brother with autism. I helped her mom walk him and his two sisters to the car each week so he wouldn’t bolt into traffic. I would love to read this book because I’m now a full-time teacher and I run into many families who are overwhelmed with situations like these.
Michelle, especially to families like ours, you are a dream come true! Know that you’ve been blessed with a God-given heart that is rare and precious. And as a teacher, God has strategically placed you to be a “first responder” to special kids and families. Many blessings to you!
Congratulations Michelle! You are one of the winners of the giveaway! I will email you for your mailing address. Thank you for participating!
Blessings!
Chere, Kathi Lipp Intern
I have a son with Autism who is almost 16. It’s been a marathon, but I have learned a lot and I am a parent advocate for other families in our school district to help them get services for their children.
Monica, you are my sister 🙂 So thankful to see you using the wisdom and experience you’ve gained through your journey, to bless and empower other families. Thank you and God bless you!
I’m a preschool speech therapist. For my students’ parents, I create weekly videos and email them with ways to target speech skills naturally when at home. I’ve used paper newsletters in the past, but my parents really appreciate the videos this year.
So brilliant and helpful! Thank you for going the extra mile for our families. Especially as an Early Interventionist, know that you are ministering not just to the student, but the parents/family as well. God bless you!
Wow Joy -Your son has something special in his heart. I pray that it continues to grow!
I did not personally do this but I hope it speaks to my parenting. We were at the park one day and my 4 yo son was relentlessly pursuing a child. The child was not responding at all but my son would not give up. I asked him to move on because I didn’t want the little boy to be annoyed by him. There was just something about him that my son saw and wanted to be around. The boy finally responded after quite some time and they played very well together. As we were leaving the boy’s dad walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked my son for not giving up. It was the first time he had ever watched his precious boy play with another child in a public setting due to his son’s autism. It was a proud moment for this momma.
This makes my heart happy.
YES! This is priceless to families like ours, because most folks quit trying and walk away. They certainly don’t persist at being a friend like your son did. God bless you and your remarkable little boy. Please keep doing so!
Congratulations Joy! You are one of the winners of the giveaway! I will email you for your mailing address. Thank you for participating!
Blessings!
Chere, Kathi Lipp Intern