My friend Sarah (not her real name,) is out there. “There” being the dating world. And after hearing about her adventures out there, it makes me doubly grateful for my husband Roger.
Because while Roger is one of the good guys, there are a whole lot of bad guys.
A whole lot.
Like the guys who told her, “Oh, I thought maybe you’d lose some weight since you took your profile picture.”
A whole lot of bad guys…
But as she was telling me some of the worst points about the guys she and her friends have dated, it started to feel oh so familiar.
“He’s never around when I need him.”
“He’s lazy. He just sits around. I never get to do what I want to do.”
Since writing my book Clutter Free, I’ve heard every complaint about clutter, but for the first time, I started to see the correlation between the things that women say about bad relationships and the clutter that is ruining their lives.
“I can never find anything when I need it.”
“I would be able to get so much more accomplished if I didn’t have to deal with so much clutter.”
And when we start to see our clutter in the light of a bad relationship – the need to break up with it becomes oh, so much clearer.
Clutter, wants to make sure you know that you’re not good enough for anything better.
That boyfriend discouraged you from going for your degree or getting a better job. “You don’t have enough time for me – what makes you think you’ll have time for that.” He kept you from dreaming about the better life you could have and wanted you to settle. Clutter does the same thing. It convinces you – YOU! – you bright, intelligent, passionate woman, that you can’t handle your life and that you should just settle.
Just like a bad boyfriend, your clutter is constantly jealous.
Clutter doesn’t want you going out – it wants you stuck at home, tending to it. Clutter is lazy, and wants you to do all the work.
Clutter is a liar.
Clutter calls you lazy even though your coworkers always tell you what a hard worker you are. Clutter tells you that you will never change. Clutter says you’re not creative, not smart, not passionate. Clutter lies to you every chance it gets.
Your friends and family hate it.
My mom hated my first boyfriend. Hated him. I spent less time with my family and my school friends, and started to change my personality to accommodate him. Clutter makes the same demands – isolating you and making you bend to its will.
So how do you break up with clutter?
Here are a couple places to start:
Get as far away as possible.
It’s so easy to revisit your clutter- putting it in a box to look at later. Putting it in the garage so it’s out of site, until you can turn around in the garage… Make a clean break from your clutter. Don’t just put the donations in the back of your car, drive straight to the donation station and dump that clutter (anything that would be useful to someone else, but is no longer taking care of you, that is.)
Refuse to let clutter come through the door.
The best place to stop clutter is in the store- don’t buy it in the first place. Know your clutter weakness areas – the Dollar Store, the office supply aisle at Target, thrift stores, antique malls – and make a plan with exactly what you’re coming home with.
Get some accountability.
Have you ever told a friend, “Ask me every day if I’ve called him!” Well it’s the same with clutter. Have a friend ask you what you brought home that day- or better yet – what you got rid of! Challenge each other to get rid of 100 things (and no fair checking out each other’s stash to see what you may want to bring home.) Get rid of it, once and for all and celebrate each other’s success!
I would love to hear your story of how you’ve broken up with some of your clutter- give us specifics – we need some hope from those of you who are living free!
Break up with Clutter in just 14 days! Get Kathi’s Kickstart to Clutter Free eCourse today and kick that clutter to the curb sister!
Why Kickstart to Clutter Free?
- Find peace in your home
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Kathi, I’ve followed your podcast/blog for several months and it has changed my life. Because clutter has become an inherited disease in my family, I’m having to find healing within myself. Last summer I took on the position of a MOPS Coordinator while at the same time moved my family into a new house. We had lived in our previous house for 13 years and the day the movers came, they actually had to call for an extra truck because we had too much stuff. We almost didn’t get out on time!! (That’s with some of our stuff already in storage.) What’s sad is we were only living in a 2 bedroom/1bath house! I told myself the first year of living in our new home would be focused solely on getting MOPS started at church. I sorted here and there, rented a small UHaul and filled it up. It got donated in December (2017). But I wasn’t done. There was still a stack of boxes in the garage and our basement storage was still full. June (2018) came and I’ve sorted some more. Oh. My. Goodness. How did I have so much stuff??? I found sermon journals from junior high camp, ALL of my artwork from Kindergarten to now, painted ceramics from childhood, every A+ paper my mom kept…so much it makes me sick. And even after sorting through it all, I knew I had to get rid of more. Two weeks ago I was so overwhelmed I finally reached out to my MOPS friends on FB. I told them I needed help with a garage sale because I was so emotionally tapped out. I needed to get rid of stuff, make some money for vacation but I couldn’t do it by myself. This weekend I’m having the garage sale and my friend is coming over to help me (thank God). I have to begin a new year of MOPS at my church but I HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS STUFF because it is blocking me from focusing on what God wants me to do. Please say a prayer for me! I want to break up with this clutter so God can free me mentally and physically of all this stress! And again, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PODCAST! Hearing your voice is such an encouragement. I feel like I have a mentor by my side. <3
Thank you so much for sharing your story!!!