#347 Finding Freedom from the Fear, Guilt and Shame with Melissa Maimone

#347 Finding Freedom from the Fear, Guilt and Shame with Melissa Maimone

On today’s episode of the podcast, Kathi is joined by Melissa Maimone, author of The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace, and the Gifts of a Dark Place. Kathi and Melissa have an open and honest discussion around a topic that is more common to clutter than we’d like to talk about- depression.  

On today’s show you’ll learn:

  • Why clutter is more of a symptom than the problem
  • How there are deep gifts to be found in the hard places
  • Why we don’t need fixing but we need His presence

 

Free Download from Melissa

Thank you to Melissa for offering a free download for our listeners. Download Ten Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed by clicking here.

 

Enter to win!

Enter to win a copy of The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace, and the Gifts of a Dark Place. Visit the blog post from yesterday to enter to win. We’re giving 5 people a copy of the book and a grand prize winner will get:

  • A copy of the book, The Radiant Midnight
  • A Wood Grain Folding Book Lamp, Night Light
  • Weighted Silk Sleep Mask Eye Pillow Filled with Organic Lavender and Flax Seeds

Don’t wait to win! Get a copy of the book here.

Thanks for Listening!

To share your thoughts:

To help out the show:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.

 

Special thanks for Harvest House for sponsoring today’s episode!

Meet Our Guest

Melissa Maimone

Melissa Maimone

Melissa Maimone is a speaker and writer who communicates with transparency, humor, and grace about the magnificence and mess of an authentic faith in Jesus Christ. She lives in Southern California with her husband and two children. Learn more

When “Getting Over It” Just Doesn’t Work – Trusting God with Your Biggest Problem

When “Getting Over It” Just Doesn’t Work – Trusting God with Your Biggest Problem

Trusting God with your biggest problem

One of the most common comments I get about my life with clutter is, “Oh, you wrote a book about clutter? Is your house perfect now?

Or people will say, “I could never have you over to my house. You’re the clutter free person. I’d be too embarrassed!

These two statements highlight two different misconceptions:

1. Because I’ve found something that works for me, I will never struggle again.
2. I can’t remember what it’s like to be in the hardest part of the struggle.

So let me share the reality of my clutter free life:

I still struggle.

My natural tendency is towards clutter. To put things down, leave them for later.

My garage can still be an embarrassment.

My relationship with stuff has changed dramatically. I still keep stuff I shouldn’t, but it’s not households of stuff. I still have too many clothes, but it’s not closets full of them. I’m so much better, because I’ve learned some of the reasons for my struggle along the way, and I realize that even when I’m at the hardest part of my struggle, God is not a disappointed and disapproving relative waiting to love me when I (literally) clean up my act. In my struggle, God pulls me tighter, loves me hard, and doesn’t let me go.

So much of this paradigm reminds me of my struggle with depression about a dozen years ago. I felt that if I just tried harder, worked more, and wasn’t so lazy, God would be pleased with me and would make my depression go away.

I know. I know.

What crazy, faulty, thinking.

But that’s the kind of thinking that so many of us do when we are dealing with a struggle.

If only I tried harder…

I should be able to get myself out of this mess.

If God was pleased with me, He would get me out of this mess.

Recently, I had a conversation with Melissa Maimone author of The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace, and the Gifts of a Dark Place. (Holy cow, what a title!) What I love most about this book is that Melissa believes not only will God lead you out of darkness, He will be fully and beautifully present within it. Instead of trying to give anyone three simple steps to deal with a hard situation, she takes the radical notion that God sits with us in our pain and suffering. Instead of always looking to get out of the circumstance, she urges us to recognize that God is guiding us on a journey of surrender, suffering, rest, and restoration in the midst of what we are going through.

There is value in knowing that we don’t just have to try harder to get out of the circumstances we are in. There is value in recognizing that there is good in the hard places, whether it’s outside of ourselves (clutter) or inside ourselves. God is there, and He is good, even when our challenges are hard.

Giveaway!

The generous people over at Harvest House want to give our readers Melissa’s book, The Radiant Midnight: Depression, Grace, and the Gifts of a Dark Place! 5 people will win a copy and 1 grand prize winner will receive:

  • A copy of the book, The Radiant Midnight
  • A Wood Grain Folding Book Lamp, Night Light
  • Weighted Silk Sleep Mask Eye Pillow Filled with Organic Lavender and Flax Seeds

Giveaway- book eye mask and lamp

Enter to win by commenting below- have you ever had a situation where you believed you had to just try harder to get out of the hard place and then you would find God rather than knowing He was right there in it with you?

#346 How to Stay Motivated When It’s All Too Much with Tonya Kubo

#346 How to Stay Motivated When It’s All Too Much with Tonya Kubo

On today’s episode of the podcast, Kathi is joined by Tonya Kubo, the illustrious leader of the Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group. Kathi and Tonya share four tips for staying motivated when you feel like it’s all too much.

On today’s show you’ll learn:

  • Why living clutter-free is not “one and done”
  • Where to start when you’re feeling overwhelmed
  • How de-cluttering, cleaning and organizing are all different things

Thanks for Listening!

To share your thoughts:

To help out the show:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.

Meet Our Guest

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious, fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.GreatMoms.org.

What Are the Hidden Reasons for Clutter?

What Are the Hidden Reasons for Clutter?

For some people, a three-step plan for a decluttering system results in a neat and cozy home within a few months. For others, decluttering is an arduous journey. It’s not because of busyness or not having a system in place. Behind stacks of clutter, hidden spiritual and emotional issues lurk. If we’re honest, we admit that sometimes it’s just easier to keep those issues hidden in the piles of clutter.

Here are some hidden reasons for clutter:

  • Low self-worth
  • Pleasing other people
  • Clinging to the past/reliving our mistakes
  • Poverty mindset—fearing the lack
  • Depression/anxiety clutter cycle—If we’re constantly in the emotional part of our brain, we can’t use the logic part (where we make decisions).

Some of these reasons are chronic, while others are situational. In 2014, my eyes were opened to a long-time clutter problem in my own house.

A few months after my dad passed away, my siblings and I traveled from three different states to his house. It took us four days to clean it out, working from early morning until late evening, when we were too tired to move.

I lost track of how many giant, industrial garbage dumpsters we filled. Time and again, a driver would load it onto his truck, empty it at the dump, and bring it back again.

Anything you could think of, we threw away. (We gave a lot away too. A charity came and took what was useable to help needy families.) Stacks of old magazines, mattresses, bank papers from before I was born, and an entire drawer full of keys to who-knows-what. Sixty-seven years’ worth of stuff, and I don’t think Dad ever tossed anything besides old food.

For me, it was like looking into my future.

When I arrived home, I saw everything I had piled around my house. Even some stuff I didn’t want but kept anyway, for fear of offending the relative who gave it to me. If I didn’t do something now, I realized, my kids were going to be saddled with loads of useless stuff to deal with upon my death.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t ever learned a practical system for being clutter free. One of the books in my many stacks was Kathi’s The Get Yourself Organized Project. I’d read it and even written a review for a newspaper article.

So how did I get from cluttery mess to (mostly) decluttered and organized home business owner?

 

Here I share five crucial elements on my clutter-free journey.

 

1)      Awareness.

Here’s the main difference between then and now: Today I really can’t stand clutter and work the systems from Clutter Free daily to keep it out of my house. Before, I didn’t notice it or care that my house was cluttered. I lost time, money and sanity because of my clutter, but I tolerated it because it just seemed normal to me. I didn’t consider there might be a better way to live. This is the simplest—and also hardest—of the steps.

2)      A new safe space.

Since clutter is often accompanied by feelings of low self-worth, we must redefine what feels safe to us. It’s a big mind shift to feel worthy of the time it takes to improve our living spaces. Making change is hard; it’s easier to just stick with what we know. Gradually, I accepted that my new way of living was the actual safe space, and not the unhealthy condition of an overly cluttered house. Instead of making ourselves feel better by buying more things, we can enjoy the calm, peaceful feeling of an uncluttered home.

3)      Treat yourself like the treasure you are.

Once I became aware of my clutter problem, I worked to keep my thoughts about it positive. I changed “I’m such a slob!” to “I’m working through Kathi’s steps to get clutter free; I didn’t get here overnight, and I won’t be rid of it all overnight, either.” If we’re constantly berating ourselves, we’ll stay stuck in our low self-worth mindset. Kathi’s mantra of decluttering being a lifestyle and not a “one and done” became my mainstay. The more kind and gentle you can be with yourself, the more progress you’ll make.

4)      Deal with specific issues you’re hiding.

Among my stacks of books, I had one titled Not Marked that deals with childhood sexual abuse. I had purchased it with several other titles and dumped them into my other piles of books. At that point, I hadn’t told anyone I was suffering from PTSD flashbacks to childhood trauma. Not even my husband knew about the abuse or that I was trying to cope with overwhelming memories. Other places to hide our issues might be ridiculously messy pantries to hide eating too much junk food or crammed-full closets to hide a clothes shopping addiction. It starts with telling one friend you can trust (or a therapist) and getting to the source of whatever’s eating you.

5)      Celebrate your wins by enjoying that decluttered room again.

Once I got all the piles of books out of my living room, we bought some pretty pictures and couch pillows to make it cozy. Since it looks so nice, I’m really hesitant to leave anything that doesn’t belong out in the living room. One by one, as you conquer the specific areas of your home, decorate and personalize them so that they feel complete.

Whether your hidden reasons for clutter are chronic or situational, there is hope. Establishing a system for decluttering and recognizing the hidden reasons behind the clutter is the first step. Remember, give yourself grace for whatever you’re struggling with; even if it takes longer than you hoped, you’ll get to the place where you can live peacefully in your space again.

Enter to win!

Want a chance to win a copy of Lyneta’s memoir, Curtain Call? Comment below and two random winners will be mailed a copy by March 13th. (Winners outside the U.S. will receive a digital copy.)

#345 When Emotional Clutter is Buried by Physical Clutter with Lyneta Smith

#345 When Emotional Clutter is Buried by Physical Clutter with Lyneta Smith

On today’s episode Kathi welcomes friend and author Lyneta Smith, to talk about her new book Curtain Call: A Memoir. Kathi chats with Lyneta about her journey of dealing with emotional clutter from a traumatic childhood and how physical clutter can often be used to hide our emotional wounds.

On today’s show you’ll learn:

  • Why physical clutter can often be a sign that all is not well
  • How clutter can serve as self-protection
  • Why de-cluttering can be the first step of healing

Enter to win! 

Win a copy of Curtain Call: A Memoir by sharing in the comments if you need this book or if this is a book you need to give to a friend.

*US residents only

Order the ebook by Wednesday, March 13th and pay only $2.99. (50% off the list price.)

Thanks for Listening!

To share your thoughts:

Leave a note in the comment section below.
Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest.

To help out the show:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.

Meet Our Guest

Lyneta Smith

Lyneta Smith

Lyneta Smith is a writer and speaker whose life mission is to point people to the goodness of God. She is the author of Curtain Call, recipient of the 2017 Best Nonfiction Foundation Award. She and her husband live near Nashville, TN. Learn more

#344 Better Than Perfect – How to be Real with Each other and with God with Gretta Kennedy and Suzanne Gosselin

#344 Better Than Perfect – How to be Real with Each other and with God with Gretta Kennedy and Suzanne Gosselin

On today’s episode Kathi welcomes Gretta Kennedy and Suzanne Gosselin, authors of Grit and Grace: Devotions for Warrior Moms. Kathi, Gretta and Suzanne talk about what moms can do when we’re feeling overwhelmed with spiritual clutter during our quiet time with God.

On today’s show you’ll learn:

  • How to stay connected to God during the “while also” season of life
  • Why moms in this busy stage of life need a lifeline that is just a very short snippet of truth that they can digest very quickly
  • How you can encourage the overwhelmed mom in your life

 

Enter to Win!

Enter to win a copy of their book! Head over to yesterday’s blog post and enter to win by sharing in the comments if you need this book or if this is a book you need to give to a friend.

Five lucky winners will win a copy of Grit and Grace: Devotions for Warrior Moms and one winner get a copy of the book AND a $50 Starbucks card to take out all the mom warriors in her life!

*US residents only

Or buy the book here.

 

Thanks for Listening!

To share your thoughts:

Leave a note in the comment section below.
Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest.

To help out the show:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.

 

Special thanks to our sponsor Harvest House!

Meet Our Guest

Gretta Kennedy & Suzanne Hadley Gosselin

Gretta Kennedy is a speaker, mentor and writer with a degree in women’s ministry from Multnomah University and over 20 years of ministry experience. She is the co-author of the newly released devotional “Grit and Grace: Devotions For Warrior Moms”.

 


Suzanne Hadley Gosselin lives in California with her husband, Kevin, and four young children. Formerly an editor for Clubhouse and Clubhouse Jr. magazines, she has written for Zondervan, David C. Cook, and Focus on the Family. Suzanne enjoys sharing a good cup of coffee and conversation with a friend, serving with her husband in family ministry, and escaping to the Pacific coast. Learn more