#319: How to Put an End to Performancism (Loving Your Work and Your Life)

#319: How to Put an End to Performancism (Loving Your Work and Your Life)

Kathi sits down with friend and coauthor of “Overwhelmed,” Cheri Gregory to talk about performancism. It’s important to know when to put an end to your day and stop working for the night.

Cheri shares some personal stories about how she was able to shift her thinking from one of shame and blame to one of, it’s okay to rest.

This is a great episode on how to spot performancism, call it out and find a better balance in your life.

In this Episode You Will Know:

  • What the word performancism means.
  • How to know if you suffer from performancism.
  • Why it’s important to stop and listen.
  • Why it’s important to be both comforting and practical.

Grab a copy of You Don’t Have to Try So Hard-

Releases September 4, 2018

Ditch your feelings of inadequacy and finally come face-to-face with the bold, balanced woman God created you to be. Grab your copy from your favorite retailer and join our book club in September. All the details can be found here.

WIN A COPY OF YOU DON’T HAVE TO TRY SO HARD!

Enter to win a You Don’t Have to Try So Hard gift pack from Harvest House by commenting below: What is one way can put a healthy boundary in your life this week?

Downloads from this episode

The 3 Most Important Things to Know If You Suffer from Performancism 

How to Know If You Suffer from Performancism 

Thanks for Listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below.
• Share this show on TwitterFacebook, or Pinterest.

To Help Out the Show:

• Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.

Special thanks to Cheri for joining me this week! Remember to enter in the drawing for our “You Don’t Have to Try So Hard” gift basket and for your free download, “The 3 Most Important Things You Need to Know If You Suffer from Performancism and All the other Bad Behaviors” and “The 3 Most Important Things to Know If You’re Dealing with Somebody Who Suffers from Performancism.”

Meet Our Guest

Cheri Gregory

Cheri Gregory

Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.” Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed.
Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities.
Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.

Eps. #317 Perfectly Planned – How to Capture Beauty and Order at the Same Time

Eps. #317 Perfectly Planned – How to Capture Beauty and Order at the Same Time

Ruth Chou Simons has come out with a tool for Kathi and fellow clutter-free people that you can start using now. Ruth’s new GraceLaced planner is a 17-month journey into documenting the daily things happening in each season of your life. It’s a time to slow down and enjoy all that God is doing.

In this episode you will:

*Hear directly from artist and author Ruth Chou Simons.

*Get motivated to start journaling those special moments you can reflect on later.

*Find out the reasons why it’s important to slow down and capture all that God’s doing in your life right now.

I am so excited about today’s podcast and can’t wait to share it with you!

Giveaway to Help You Stay Organized!

How do you up your creativity? Share your idea over on this post to be entered to win our grand prize sponsored by Harvest House Publishers so you can be creative and stay organized too.

 

 

Walk in Grace Through the Seasons

Approach each new day with purpose, led by truth from God’s Word. This 17-month planner from artist and author Ruth Chou Simons will help you organize your days and embrace the changing seasons of your heart. You will find:

  • artistically crafted weekly, monthly, and yearly calendars
  • ample space each week to keep track of to-dos and focus your intentions
  • special pages to note important birthdays or anniversaries each month
  • carefully selected, hand-lettered Scripture to encourage your heart
  • opportunities to record your prayers and favorite passages

This beautiful planner will help you practice everyday faithfulness and find God’s grace laced through each season of your life.

To purchase your GraceLaced Planner, click here.

Thanks for Listening!

To share your thoughts:
• Leave a note in the comment section below.
• Share this show on TwitterFacebook, or Pinterest.

To help out the show:
• Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.

Special thanks to Ruth for joining me this week!

Meet Our Guest

Ruth Chou Simons

Ruth Chou Simons

Ruth Chou Simons is a bestselling author, entrepreneur, and speaker who shares her journey of how God’s grace intersects daily life through word and paintbrush at GraceLaced.com – the popular blog, online shoppe, and Instagram community that reaches over a hundred thousand daily. Her first book, GraceLaced: Discovering Timeless Truths Through Seasons of the Heart, a winner of the 2018 Christian Book Award, released September 2017.

Chapter 10: Get the Conversation Started

Chapter 10: Get the Conversation Started

Welcome to The Mom Project. For the next few weeks, we’ll be launching my book The Mom Project by hosting several mom friends who have tried it out for themselves. They read the book, completed a project from the book with their kids, and wrote all about it. And these are real moms. Busy moms. Unsure-of-themselves moms. Single moms. Special needs moms. Working moms. Stay-at-home moms. They do the hard working of mommyhood every day, and have found fun ways to connect with their kids in the simple activities found in The Mom Project. Read on to hear their experience:

The Project:

Making a connection with my three kids who are ages 11 and twins who are 9, is a challenging enterprise. Life with three kids close in age will always be a challenging task. I desire connection with them but homework, errands and the minutiae of a day always seems to corrode time. I pick them up from school and then all of a sudden it is time for pjs and brushing teeth. Dinner is a gamble. Who is done with the day already? Who is grumpy because they don’t like what is on their plate? Who is annoyed at their sibling who is sitting where they wanted to sit. Connection at dinner is a miracle akin to the parting of the red sea… okay maybe not to that level but I mean when it happens I am giddy. The Mom Project suggests thinking beyond dinner and encourages thinking outside of the box I typically try to operate in. I’ve been reminded through the Mom Project that well-intentioned isn’t the same as intentional. Maybe this is obvious to most but I think this is a game-changer for me. Intentional connection requires a bit more than me saying, “How was your day?” and “Don’t forget to eat your veggies!”.

The Plan:

Here’s my reality. The best time to connect with my kids is at bedtime. They always want me to lay down with them and chat or just cuddle. The stress of the day is mostly over and their defenses come down. This is, of course, the time when I am the most ‘done’. It is 8 pm and I am ready to tap out. However, I want to connect when they already want to connect by intentionally creating space for this to occur. My plan is to spend time once a week in each child’s room and just sit and be – maybe we will have a snack, cuddle or just have a tickle fight. Just 15 minutes one-on-one with each child is what I am looking for.

Results:

They love it. And so do I. Connection is honestly what I love most about being a mom (it is certainly not the homework time) and so I started looking forward to my time with each child. Some evenings I could sit with all three kids for just a few minutes each and even that short time was a welcome few moments of connection. Bedtime may take longer, but I also come downstairs from tucking them in with a full heart.

What I learned:

Some nights are better than others to try and do this and so I need to be flexible. I did this project while my husband was out of town and it will be great for us to take turns taking a few extra moments one-on-one with the kids. The most necessary component of this is a willing heart ready to sit and just be, because you can’t rush and you have to be present. I have to be less concerned about what I have to do next and what is still waiting for me to take care of.

Extra Tips: Some days one of my children will need me more than another. When I sense that a particular child needs me I can take extra time to connect with them at bedtime. Also, with a little planning ahead I can include a favorite snack or look up knock-knock jokes ahead of time to share.

Ready for your chance to win a copy of The Mom Project? To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. *Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.

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Bethany Howard lives in Tucker, GA with her husband, three kids, dog and cat. She enjoys words, her children’s laughter and any dinner she doesn’t make. She’s recently developed a passion for dark chocolate covered almonds. She doesn’t aim for perfection because that is unattainable so you just might be comfortable visiting www.bethanyhoward.com where Bethany wades through the ups and downs of life to discover kindling for joy and growth. Click here for a free download on being the best mom you can be for your kids (it’s not what you think it is) and to subscribe to Bethany’s blog.

The Mom Project, Chapter 4: Home, A Safe Place to Land

The Mom Project, Chapter 4: Home, A Safe Place to Land

Welcome to The Mom Project. For the next few weeks, we’ll be launching my book The Mom Project by hosting several mom friends who have tried it out for themselves. They read the book, completed a project from the book with their kids, and wrote all about it. And these are real moms. Busy moms. Unsure-of-themselves moms. Single moms. Special needs moms. Working moms. Stay-at-home moms. They do the hard working of mommyhood every day, and have found fun ways to connect with their kids in the simple activities found in The Mom Project. Read on to hear their experience:

The Project

“I have an idea.” This is one of my favorite lines that my family hears me say right before I introduce a new plan. I’m sure over the years those words have evoked concern to some and excitement to others since my ideas tend to be outside the box and usually require some work. Like the time I said, “Hey Brian, I have an idea. I want to be a surrogate and carry other people’s babies.” That story is for another time, but more recently, about 3 years ago I had the idea to downsize and become a part of the “Tiny Home Movement.” My family was quickly on board. We decided we wanted to have a tiny home so we could have more time for our family (instead of maintenance on our things), to keep our current house as an investment/rental and most importantly to make financial changes so I could work towards being a part time WAHM (Work At Home Mom) so I could have more time and energy for our family. Despite the close quarters with 2 teen girls and the love-hate relationship with a tiny home that has brought, we have loved the “easy-ness” of simplifying our lives and being able to have more time to make memories as a family. As a part of this season of life, I’ve been reading The Mom Project and have loved all the fun and simple ways it gives to connect and make family memories. So now I have an idea! I’m going to share with you how I did one of the projects from the book with our girls. Welcome to our world.

The Plan

Since our girls are both in the phase of wanting to re-decorate their rooms, the project “Add a Few Creature Comforts” is perfect. They both literally have printed out inspirational photos from Pinterest in their rooms of how they want their rooms to look. If only we would be chosen for Fixer Upper, we would all be in heaven! (We only live a couple hours from Chip and Joanna Gaines, so if any of you have a connection, hook me up!) For the project, I am going to take the girls to the store to have them pick something special that will help make their tiny space more of their own and more enjoyable for them. To start off I had to choose the time and the place. Since we live outside of town and the girls go to a charter school, I get to drive into town and pick them up every day from school, so I chose a day that we didn’t have anything scheduled after school. I also chose Hobby Lobby since it is located in between school and our home, has lots of home decor and styles to choose from and I had a gift card! That’s a triple win in my book. I also let the girls know ahead of time what we would be doing since they are at the age that they tend to make plans in their head for their own lives and time and always appreciate a heads up.

Results

I picked the girls up from school and reminded them we were going to the store so they could pick out something for their rooms. They had forgotten, so they both were excited for this after school fun shopping trip. After some time wandering around the store checking out all the options, they both fairly quickly made great decisions. Trinity chose a black storage box and a white wooden organizer. Selah chose a metal organizer and two storage boxes (probably for all her homemade slimes).

What I Learned

I was surprised that both girls chose storage and organizational items! I thought they would choose more “fun” decor pieces like a mirror, wall hanging, pillow or candle. I loved that they chose pretty, yet practical pieces that would help them stay organized and keep their rooms and stuff under control. When given the option to make decisions for themselves, our girls often surprise me with mature decisions. Sometimes we as parents, just don’t give our kids enough opportunities to choose for themselves or we don’t allow them to have the natural consequences of their choices, good or bad.

Extra Tips

To add to the fun and challenge, I gave both of our girls a $15 limit. This meant they had to do the math to figure out the cost of what they wanted (since a lot of decor items were 50% off) and they had to stay within budget. These are everyday life skills that we all need and that I like to throw into the girls lives as much as I can. Also, don’t forget to take pictures when you are making memories. Don’t overdo it though. Make sure you find the balance of being in the moment and taking pictures to help keep that moment forever. Enjoy our pics!

Hope you loved this peek into our tiny world. For more ideas on connecting with your kids, check out “The Mom Project.”

“Ready for your chance to win a copy of The Mom Project? To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. *Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.”

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 Bio: Written by Tiffany Jo Baker, a mom who has birthed 7 children, but only 2 of them were her own. This 3x Surrogate, now Couples Life and Fertility Support Coach, continues to help couples birth their dreams and thrive thru infertility. Are you “Thriving Thru Infertility?” Free Quiz Here.

 

Episode #297 When You Feel Like You’re a Failing Mom-The Mom Project

Episode #297 When You Feel Like You’re a Failing Mom-The Mom Project

We are broken people, parenting broken people.

Our parenting needs to be infused with grace, not just for our kids, but for ourselves as parents too. Join Kathi, Cheri Gregory and Eric MacPherson as they chat about focusing on what is going well in your parenting, how you can’t be all things to your kids, and how you can never go wrong with focusing on your relationships with your kids instead of your regrets and failures.

Just listening to this podcast shows you’re a much better mom than you think you are!

Resources Mentioned

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

Put the Disciple in Discipline

 

Giveaway

For your chance to win one of three copies of Kathi’s upcoming book, The Mom Project, tell us your biggest mom challenge in the comments below.

 

 

 

*Available to US only

 

Meet Our Guests

Cheri Gregory

Cheri Gregory

Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”

Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and Overwhelmed. Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.

Erin MacPherson

Erin MacPherson

Erin MacPherson lives in Austin, Texas with her husband Cameron, her sons Joey and Will and her daughter Kate. She is the author of “The Christian Mama’s Guide Series“, a staff writer for Dun & Bradstreet and a freelancer for publications like Thriving Family Magazine, MOPS MomSense, FamilyLife Magazine, Daily Guideposts and BEMag. She blogs about her life, her kids and her faith at ChristianMamasGuide.com.

The Clutter Free Book Club Presents… Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World

The Clutter Free Book Club Presents… Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World

Welcome to the Clutter Free Book Club, where I share the books I’ve been reading (and hopefully loving.) Each month I review at least one book I’ve read, and because I am living a Clutter Free life, I pass that book on to one of you. To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. But there is one catch: if you win the book, you have to promise to pass it on to someone else when you’re done (keeping this book club Clutter Free.) When you comment below, share either 1. A book you’ve read that you think I should put on my list or 2. The name of the person you will pass this book onto when you’re done reading it!


Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World Hardcover – April 4, 2017

Where I bought it: Audible
by Author Admiral William H. McRaven (Ret.)
Where I read it: It’s a short book – I listened to it while I was helping my step-daughter and son-in-law move into their new house.

 

I’d heard about Admiral McRaven’s speech at University of Texas (Hook ’em!) and what he’d learned in his military career. It was such and enjoyable book and many of the lessons have stuck with me. Lesson 1 making your bed means that the first thing you do each morning is accomplish something. (I lay in bed for a minute and pray first, so first God, then accomplishment. I recommend THAT order.) Recommended!

 

Just a word on the books I read and review: I have a wide and varied sense of taste when it comes to books. I would love for you to enter and win one of my books – but if you are offended by book content, I would ask that you go online to read reviews to see if this book is for you before you enter to win.

*Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.