568: Responding Responsibly to a “Waste Not, Want Not” Mentality – Part 2
How do you start a conversation with someone who says that absolutely everything is valuable and should be cherished? Especially when that means that you, not they, should be the person to make space for it?
Kathi and her friend Cheri Gregory are returning today for the second part of their discussion on how to respond responsibly to another person who has a “waste not, want not” mentality. Here are their tips for how to keep the peace without keeping all the stuff:
For people living in your household, give each person their own space and they can keep what they want in that space.
Have agreed upon standards for cleanliness, maintenance tasks, and decorating budgets.
If someone says, “I can fix that,” set a time and have a plan for getting that item fixed. Consider whether or not fixing a particular item is enjoyable and worth the time.
Realize that you may not agree or change the other person’s mind, and you can still keep boundaries around your own space and belongings.
Did you miss the first part of this conversation? If so, you can listen to that here.
The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home
Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing] noun
an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.
For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.
Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:
Prepare before the need arises
Everything is always in process, including us
Your best household solution is time and patience
You don’t have to do everything the hard way
Be open to new and better ways of doing things
A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment. Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader here.
Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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Meet Our Guest
Cheri Gregory
Cheri Gregory is the founder of the Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe and co-author of five books, including Overwhelmed and An Abundant Place (both with Kathi Lipp). Cheri mentors HSP* Christian writers and speakers Through her Write Beside You coaching services and mastermind programs.
567: Responding Responsibly to a “Waste Not, Want Not” Mentality – Part 1
Sometimes we hear sayings like “waste not, want not” and we assume they are true all the time and in every circumstance. Or we may want to get rid of something, but someone else in our life expects us to keep it. What to do then? Today Kathi is discussing this very issue with her friend and co-author, Cheri Gregory.
Cheri tells the tale of some big items she has recently decluttered and shares how her mindset about those items has changed over time. Some of those shifts in her thinking include:
Realizing that just because an item was nice several decades ago, doesn’t mean it is still nice.
Learning to set a time limit on fixing things – just because something could be fixed someday by someone doesn’t mean I have to keep it (broken) forever.
There is a cost to keeping things – time dealing with them, lost space to enjoy other things, and missed opportunities.
Listen next week to hear Part 2 of the discussion, in which Cheri gives advice for how to start a conversation with someone else who is opposed to our decluttering efforts. Sign up here for the Clutter Free Academy newsletter to be notified when Part 2 is available.
The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home
Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing] noun
an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.
For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.
Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:
Prepare before the need arises
Everything is always in process, including us
Your best household solution is time and patience
You don’t have to do everything the hard way
Be open to new and better ways of doing things
A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment. Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader here.
Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.
Meet Our Guest
Cheri Gregory
Cheri Gregory is the founder of the Sensitive & Strong Community Cafe and co-author of five books, including Overwhelmed and An Abundant Place (both with Kathi Lipp). Cheri mentors HSP* Christian writers and speakers Through her Write Beside You coaching services and mastermind programs.
Kathi sits down this week with bestselling author, Proverbs 31 speaker, and boomerang friend, Karen Ehman, to discuss how to cope when someone else’s stuff drives you crazy. Clutter is a major source of conflict in relationships, especially since clutter-prone people often live with people who are not. If you have someone in your life whose stuff drives you crazy, this episode is for you!
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Three common reasons behind all relational conflicts and how to successfully address them.
How to navigate getting your spouse on board with your decluttering goal.
A powerful one-sentence sermon you can tell yourself when someone’s stuff drives you crazy.
If you’d like a chance to win a copy, comment below letting us know: What is one thing that you could take away from today’s podcast to help you in your clutter struggle with your spouse or someone else?
Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.
Meet Our Guest
Karen Ehman
Karen Ehman is a New York Times bestselling author, a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, and a writer for Encouragement For Today, an online devotional that reaches over 4 million users daily. She has written 14 books and Bible studies and been featured on numerous media outlets including TODAY Show Parents, FoxNews.com, and Redbook.com. A wife and mother of three, she resides in the boondocks of central Michigan. You can learn more at karenehman.com.
This week, Kathi returns to her first love: helping you have a happier, better marriage. Kathi is joined by frequent guest and host of Clutter Free Academy online, Tonya Kubo, to discuss several ways that decluttering can help you build a better marriage.
One of the most frequent questions Kathi is asked is, “What do I do about my husband’s stuff?” in this episode, you’ll learn more about her top three answers for that question:
Deal with your own stuff before you deal with your spouse’s stuff.
Don’t argue about stuff. Agree on space.
Discuss the reasons behind wanting to live a more clutter free life.
You’ll also learn how decluttering makes a better marriage by:
Reducing conflict
Giving you the opportunity to focus on ways to bless your spouse
Helping you see your spouse’s strengths
Even upping the level of romance in your relationship (really)!
To read more practical ways to build a better marriage, check out Kathi’s book, The Husband Project.
Learn more about Kathi and Roger’s favorite show to binge watch at the Red House, American Pickers.
Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.
Meet Our Guest
Tonya Kubo
Tonya Kubo is the illustrious, fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.TonyaKubo.com and www.GreatMoms.org.
We love buying farm fresh produce, but let’s be real, Roger and I are both busy, and another thing… we don’t live on a farm. So, we decided to grow a few things in our own garden, well, actually it is a planter on the back patio, but for us, we felt like urban farmers.
Every day we went out to check on our little garden. As the leaves grew and little buds formed we enjoyed the daily routine of caring for our thriving plants and looked forward to the day when we could enjoy the fruit of our labor, literally.
It was a wonderful day in the Lipp Household when we plucked our first tomato off the vine.
How funny that we can get so intent on growing a vegetable, and yet how easy it is to get distracted from growing something much more valuable, our marriage.
BE INTENTIONAL
It is so easy to focus on the mountain of little things that feel urgent on a day to day basis, but make it a priority to balance them out with what is truly important.
HAVE FUN
Busy happens, we need to recapture some of the fun things that drew us to our spouse. Whether it is a date-night, a simple gesture of kindness, or spending time with other couples, shake up the routine.
TAKE TIME
Just like our tomato took time and patience, we need to nurture a healthy relationship with our spouse. We didn’t flood our little “garden” once and walk away, hoping it would fend for itself. We made it a daily routine to make sure it was thriving.
There are seasons in life, but whether you have been married for a few years or a few decades, we can all benefit from savoring simple moments with the one we vowed to love, honor, and cherish.
How about you? Maybe you could use some fun and fresh ideas to nurture your relationship?
Join me as I visit with Focus on the Family on how to add some pep into your marriage.
3 Ways to Stop Screen Time from Ruining Your Mood–and Your Marriage!
A few years ago I found myself, on pretty much a weekly basis, pondering, “How can life be so cruel?”
I’d fixate on how deplorable our culture was. I’d bemoan how awful so many men were to so many women. I’d stumble to the bathroom and brush my teeth, and drag myself to the bed and crawl under the covers, hoping to disappear.
My husband would find me like that and try to talk me out of it. He’d want me to open up and explain what was going on in my head. He’d offer to help me make a list of good things that I could focus on instead.
And I would lie there and fume. “Why can’t he just let me have my mood? Why can’t he just leave me alone instead of trying to fix me? He’s always doing that. Every week, he tries to make me see the bright side when I just need to FEEL. Every week. In fact, every Thursday he does this.”
“What’s wrong with him that on Thursdays he always has to interfere?”
Then I thought,”Wait a minute. What’s wrong with me that every Thursday I’m depressed?”
And then I realized that every Thursday, we watched Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Every Thursday, I’d get depressed. And every Thursday, I’d take it out on my husband.
Maybe the problem was not Keith. Maybe the problem was my television preferences!
So we turned off the TV and we switched off Netflix and a couple of times a week we’d find other things to fill our time and build our relationship — things that didn’t make me grumpy and hate men.
It’s not just our homes that can get cluttered. It can be our minds, too.
What we fill our minds with affects our outlook on life. And watching TV or watching a movie doesn’t necessarily build your relationship with your husband that much. Sure, it can be fun occasionally, but many of us turn to screens by default in the evenings, when there are much better options that raise our mood, make us laugh together, and build memories.
Keith and I have focused on three different things that help us. See if you can find one that can work for your marriage, too!
1. Play a board game as a couple.
Board games aren’t just for groups! Board games can be awesome as a couple, too. And we’ve discovered some great new ones, even in the last few years. It’s not all Monopoly and Scrabble and Boggle. Here are a few others that we love:
Hive: It’s like chess, but with bugs. And octagons. Or are they hexagons? Your five pieces can move in different ways, and whoever surrounds the queen bee first wins! The great part about it? It only takes about 10 minutes to play a game all the way through.
Carcassone: Here’s one of my favorites that works great with really young kids and bigger groups, as well. You get to build a medieval French countryside together, putting down tiles that create the board. Monasteries, villages, roads, rivers, and more. You rack up points by finishing a road, city, or building, or by cultivating crops. But the best part is that the board looks different every time!
Pandemic: Another game that works well in groups, but also works well just for couples! It’s a cooperative game, so you can play it with a super competitive husband and no one will get grumpy. (Although you may get killed by a wicked virus. Sometimes stuff happens.) Four viruses are spreading in the world, and you need to use the skills of scientists, researchers, medics, and more to stop the spread. It’s great strategy, and you’ll learn geography, too!
A few years ago, my husband and I watched the movie The Big Year, all about competitive bird watching (yes, there is such a thing). It was such a great movie, and right after that, we went out and bought two sets of awesome binoculars, a bird book, and started ourselves. We live near one of the best bird migration sites in North America, and it didn’t take long to start getting quite the list!
Keith’s way more into birdwatching that I am, but I still love it. We get outside. We get fresh air. We get to talk. And hey–the birds are pretty!
We also love ballroom dancing, and periodically take classes to learn more steps. We’re to the point that we can actually impress people now at weddings.
If you were to say to your beloved, “Honey, can we talk tonight?“, chances are he’d panic. But if you were to say, “Honey, how about a walk after dinner?“, he wouldn’t get his back up, and he may even agree.
When women talk to each other, we tend to like to do it face to face, gazing into our friends’ eyes. But when men talk, they tend to do it side-by-side, when they’re doing something together.
One of the best things we can do for our marriage, then, is to do something that puts you side by side with your husband. And for that, nothing beats getting outside, whether it’s just taking that walk, or taking a bike ride, or even just gardening!
When we get outside, the screen isn’t trying to pull us in so much with its promise of Netflix and movies. We’re able to be fully present and fully available. And that’s going to make you feel far closer to your husband, too!
I had to declutter my mind to see clearly that my husband is a good guy, and he can be a lot of fun. And when we added some fun things that had nothing to do with screens, we increased the laughter. (And I stopped dwelling on horrible sex crimes, too.)
Maybe, as the new school year starts up, it’s time to develop a new routine of your own. After all, no one wants to be grumpy every Thursday!
