#625 Meal Planning Made Easy with AI: Kathi’s Insider Tips

#625 Meal Planning Made Easy with AI: Kathi’s Insider Tips

625 – Meal Planning Made Easy with AI: Kathi’s Insider Tips

Have you ever struggled with this age-old question?
“What’s for dinner?”

In this episode of Clutter-Free Academy, Kathi and Roger Lipp take you on a journey through the incredible world of AI-driven meal planning. Say goodbye to dinner stress and discover how ethical, efficient AI tools can change your kitchen routine for the better. Join Kathi and Roger as they share their experiences with AI, making home management simpler and more effective than ever. with tips and ideas such as:

  • How to use AI to generate delicious, healthy, and budget-friendly recipes.
  • Tips for making AI your ultimate meal-planning assistant, especially for families with dietary restrictions.
  • The game-changing method to create categorized shopping lists through AI

As promised, here are the Meal Planning prompts that Kathi and Roger use to direct AI to plan their meals:

  • “Create a 7-day meal plan for a family of four, focusing on balanced nutrition and variety.” 
  • “Suggest five quick and healthy weeknight dinner recipes using chicken breast.” 
  • “Plan a vegetarian meal prep for the week, including breakfast, lunch, and dinner options.” 
  • “Generate a grocery list for a week’s worth of Mediterranean-style meals.” 
  • “Recommend three easy breakfast ideas for someone trying to increase their protein intake.” 
  • “Design a meal plan for someone with diabetes, emphasizing low glycemic index foods.” 
  • “Suggest ways to incorporate more leafy greens into my daily meals.” 
  • “Create a budget-friendly meal plan for a college student, using simple ingredients.” 
  • “Plan a week of meals that can be prepared in 30 minutes or less that my kids would like.” 
  • “Suggest creative ways to use leftover chicken, carrots, onions and French bread to reduce food waste in my meal planning.” 

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Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest

Kathi Lipp gives readers an easy-to-follow process for meal planning and prep, so that they can enjoy a full day each week of real rest and refreshment.

Could you use a break from cooking (and everything else) once a week? Not only is rest vital for your mind and body, it’s good for your soul too. God designed us to enter into Sabbath rest one day per week, but as you know, meals still need to be made. Your family still needs to be fed.

Sabbath Soup includes convenient, seasonal meal plans that take the guesswork out of shopping and cooking. More than just a collection of delicious recipes—including main dishes, breads, breakfasts, desserts, salads, sides, and yes, soups—this is your guide to establishing a weekly rhythm and routine of meal planning and prep that allows you to have a true day off.

Do something good for your soul and experience the peace that comes with a full day dedicated to spending time with God, family, and friends. Savor your Sabbath as you proudly proclaim, “Soup’s on!”

Preorder your copy of Sabbath Soup: Weekly Menus and Rhythms to Make Space for a Day of Rest here. Preorder offer ends October 8, 2024.

Clutter Free Resources:

What is holding you back from trying AI in meal planning?

Share them in the comments!

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Roger Lipp

Roger is a productivity and quality engineer for a Fortune 50 company.

Roger helps teams reach their full productivity potential by teaching them the practical and simple steps to reach their goals. Roger and his wife, author Kathi Lipp, teach communicators how to share their message through social media and email marketing.

He and Kathi coauthored Happy Habits for Every Couple with Harvest House Publishers.

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy, where our goal is to help you live with less clutter and more life. And I am here with my AI expert. Okay, so he would not consider himself an AI expert. He is an AI practitioner, but in this household, he is the AI expert. It’s Roger Lipp. Hey, Rog. We do a lot.

Roger (00:33.652)

Hello.

Kathi (00:37.955)

We spend a lot of time thinking about AI in this house.

Roger (00:42.004)

Yeah, I’m thinking about getting business cards made up with AI expert or AI practitioner, yes.

Kathi (00:46.787)

AI practitioner. Yes, yes. Now, I know that there are going to be some people who are listening to this who are like freaked out that we’re talking about AI. I’m just going to give a quick disclaimer. If you are living in the modern world, you are already interacting with AI probably every single day, probably in a bunch of different ways. We just, we spend a lot of time, especially on the writing side of what we do.

talking about how to ethically use AI in our business, in our creativity, but that has leaked over into our personal life. Hasn’t it, Roger? I mean, we’re using it. Yeah. So.

Roger (01:26.964)

100 % we yeah, yeah, we use it all. I I used AI the other night to identify an animal that I wasn’t able to get a picture of, but I described it to the AI and told it where I lived and it identified it. It’s probably a marmot. OK. A marmot.

Kathi (01:39.235)

Right?

Kathi (01:47.651)

a marmot, which I knew that that was an animal or a Vegemite spread in, you know, something. But yeah, it’s fascinating, right? Where, where I, as I, you know, two years ago, when something came up, I would Google and I’d be like, you know, I describing it in Google, and then you kind of have to go read the stuff and everything. And what AI is doing is kind of gathering all of that for you.  And with all the conditions you’ve put into that and said, here’s what it most likely is. Did it give you any second tertiary animals? Yeah, right. Yeah. It was pretty, it was pretty convinced that.

Roger (02:26.996)

I could have asked for some backup just in case. It was pretty convinced, but I may go back and see, all right, if it’s not a marmot, what might it be? Could it be a fox? Could it be this or that? I don’t know. It was pretty big.

Kathi (02:40.995)

Yeah.

So, you know, some of the ways that we’ve used AI have been in banking, in planning our garden, in household projects, Aaron’s List. I mean, the list goes on and on. But today I want to talk about meal planning. Because I just want to say, the longer I meal plan, the more I recognize that this is probably the most complex household chore that I have. And, you know, I don’t think we give meal planning and cooking the props that it deserves. I know that almost every woman I know struggles with it and some guys, but let’s just be honest, in the Lipp household, this pretty much falls to me. But you also have to capture the mice and take them out to the… nether regions of our property. So, you know, right, right. Yeah, the two do not cross over. So I’m, I’m fine with this, you know, we kind of said when we started this whole adventure, you’re kind of responsible for the outside, I’m kind of responsible for the inside, but we cross over all the time on this. But meal planning mostly falls to me. And the more I do it, the the more I realize what a complex set of

Roger (03:41.076)

Not to be confused with meal planning.

Kathi (04:08.259)

Actions this is and so I have used AI to really help in the meal planning So I wanted to give some examples, but I also wanted you to kind of describe how people can do this for themselves Now we use Claude for our meal for everything now Yeah, well almost everything it doesn’t matter Claude Claude. Let’s talk about Claude during this podcast

And do you want to give a reason why here in the year of our Lord, you know, the middle of 2024, why we’re using Claude as our AI buddy?

Roger (04:46.004)

Yeah, it may change. It may change in six months. It may change in three weeks. I don’t know. It’s a bit of a horse race. Who’s in the front and who is providing the best service for us? We use a paid version of Claude, Claude .ai. That’s C -L -A -U -D -E .ai. You’ve probably heard of ChatGPT. That’s awesome as well. You can go to Chat .OpenAI .com, I think.

Kathi (04:50.307)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (05:14.019)

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Roger (05:14.836)

for ChatGPT, that’s great as well. We have switched over to Claude because it has more privacy, more security features, more features that are especially important for authors in the context of keeping their work private. But it’s also very good in terms of being able to go back and forth with a conversation for a long time. Chat GPT starts losing its way after a while, but Claude can keep in the conversation and keep going. So that’s two of the reasons why I think Claude is a good choice for folks.

Kathi (05:44.195)

Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (05:50.371)

Yeah.

Kathi (05:58.915)

It has the wisdom of an 80 year old and the sharp mind of a 35 year old. And so that’s the intersection we’re trying to work within. So I wanted to describe some of the ways that I am currently using Claude for meal planning and some of my favorite features. So let me talk about this and you can help us as we go along. Go ahead, Raj. Yeah. Yeah.

Roger (06:03.796)

Ha ha ha ha!

I’m sorry.

Roger (06:22.1)

Kathi, I wonder before we get into that, we could talk a little bit about some of the early stuff that happened with AI and cooking. We watched a YouTube channel for a while where there was an AI cooking challenge and they would take recipes straight off of AI and cook with them literally, you know, following to the T. And the results were not that impressive.

Kathi (06:47.491)

It was not good.

Roger (06:52.244)

So two things in that. One, AI has come a long way since then. And the second, since then, that was what, four months ago. But AI has come a long way since then. And then the other thing is to always take what you get from AI with a little bit of a grain of, a little bit of skepticism. And.

Kathi (06:57.251)

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (07:02.851)

Mm. Right? Yeah.

Kathi (07:09.443)

Right.

Kathi (07:19.203)

No, you should have said grain of salt because this is a cooking episode.

Roger (07:22.324)

Yes, grain of salt. Yes. Exactly.

Kathi (07:27.331)

Yeah, so I would say if you get a recipe and it looks crazy, maybe go back, you know, try again. But I will say, so let’s talk about one of my first uses for this. Sometimes I have a mishmash of leftovers, ingredients, things in my refrigerator. And I’m like, I am all out of creativity. My job is a creative job. And it’s like sometimes I’m just tapped out when it’s five o ‘clock and it’s time to cook something for dinner. So explain what a prompt is, Roger.

Roger (08:04.404)

Yeah, a prompt is basically how we talk to the AI. You can think of a prompt as the thing that you type in to the Google search box when you’re looking for something, right? That’s you’re prompting Google to go out and find something on the Internet for you. That’s the same kind of thing that we’re talking about with Claude, except that the prompt can be much much more detailed. You can give it all kinds of parameters. You know, when you’re searching for Google, in Google if you get too wordy with your prompt, the results actually start getting worse. You know, you have to be careful to put the right word at the front and the back, you know, it becomes a whole thing. But with Claude and the AIs, the more you give it, the better the answer is.

Kathi (08:46.627)

Mm -hmm.

Roger (09:00.884)

So you can be as detailed as you want. So you could, when I was talking about, could you help me identify this animal? I was literally typing, hey, I live at 3 ,600 feet in the Sierra mountains and I just saw an animal that’s the shape of a jumbo size squirrel, but about three feet long and maybe 18 inches high. Any idea what this could be? And you know, that.

Kathi (09:27.875)

Mm -hmm.

Roger (09:30.26)

That’s the nature of a prompt.

Kathi (09:33.571)

Yeah, okay. So guys, what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna go listen to some of our fabulous sponsors who keep this podcast free for all. And when we come back, I’m gonna share some of my favorite prompts with you for getting the results I want to help me with all the things cooking. So we’ll be right back.

Kathi (10:05.315)

Okay friends, we are back and I just wanna share some of my favorite prompts that help me get my meal planning done. So if it’s five o ‘clock and I need to get something on the table and I have not planned, which happens sometimes, you know, we had leftovers, whatever. So I can go to Claude and say, hey, I’ve got chicken, spinach and sweet potatoes and a full pantry. Like so a full pantry, you know with spices and oils and things like that. Can you suggest a healthy dinner recipe and Or I could even say can you suggest three? delicious healthy dinner recipes now, why did I add the word delicious Roger?

Roger (10:54.74)

Claude and all the AI seem to do better when you give it some adjectives. It just puts it in the right frame of mind. I don’t know that I can even describe why it works, but it does. It also works if you sometimes stroke its ego. You know, if you are an expert chef, can you help me plan a recipe because, you know, I have chicken, spinach, and sweet potatoes.

Kathi (11:18.147)

Mm -hmm.

Roger (11:24.34)

Sometimes it gets better answers.

Kathi (11:24.451)

Yeah, so yes, so you know, our first category for prompts is recipe recommendations. So I have chicken, spinach, and sweet potatoes. Can you suggest a tasty, healthy dinner recipe? It would be a great prompt. I’m looking for a delicious vegetarian appetizer to bring to a party. Any ideas? And so both of those will give you some ideas.

With the vegetarian one, I would definitely say here are some ingredients I want to use you know Cabbage or you know cheese whatever it is. So that’s one way I would love to use it number two meal planning Can you create a balanced five -day dinner menu for a family of four? My son won’t eat green peppers or mushrooms and I’m allergic to dairy. Claude can handle all of that, which is amazing. I find this to be such a great gift for somebody who has dietary restrictions. If you’re vegan, vegetarian, lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, this would be, now,

Again, check all your ingredients to make sure that they line up with what your diet actually is. I just learned the other day that Worcestershire sauce is not vegetarian. That it has, I think it’s fish in it? Yeah, I had no idea. Yeah.

Roger (13:04.98)

Like fish, yeah, I think it has fish, yeah. Yeah, so many things have fish. Hey, have you had a chance to use this for like party planning or retreat planning for meals?

Kathi (13:18.339)

I have not done, I have done party planning. So I’ll tell you one thing that I’ve done this week. We are, Roger doesn’t even know this. Our bake sale was just canceled like two minutes ago during, well, this podcast. Yeah. Breaking news. If you were planning to come to the Omo Ranch bake sale, it’s not this weekend. Yeah. Because it’s, it’s going to be the middle of May. And of course we’re, we’re predicted with snow. So, you know, that’s just where we live.

Roger (13:32.148)

okay. Good to know.

Kathi (13:47.875)

Anyway, but it helped me plan out the entire bake sale like here are all the things you need to bring with you here Like it can help with those kind of things which I think is fascinating But also when we have retreats here, we have people who are vegetarian. We have people who can’t eat gluten so I can start What I probably would do is say, here is what we normally would eat at a retreat. Can you give me some suggestions because of these modifications to the diet? And it would be a genius for that. So.

Roger (14:28.724)

Yeah, it’s part of our intake form for a retreat. Do you have any food allergies or other food restrictions? So we can just give those to Claude to create a plan for us. Or at least to start a plan for us. Yeah, we’re not just going to blindly trust. OK, rip it off the printer and give it to somebody. Here’s our shopping list. No, we don’t do that.

Kathi (14:33.347)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Kathi (14:39.843)

It’s amazing. Right. No, no, no, we’re gonna verify, absolutely.

No, we don’t do that. But here’s what I love about it. It gets over the blank page. Because when I sit down to meal plan, Roger, I can’t remember anything I’ve ever cooked in my entire life. I cannot remember anything that you’ve ever liked to eat. Like I feel like I’m starting, go ahead.

Roger (15:10.676)

You sometimes ask me, what’s your favorite thing that I cook? And I always stare at you with a blank stare. It’s like, huh, I like it all. I know.

Kathi (15:21.923)

Yeah.

Which sounds fake, by the way. Okay, so here’s another way that I love to meal plan. I need to plan five days worth of packable work lunches. What do you suggest? So, you know, some of my favorite things are chicken salad, or you don’t like to give it some of your favorite things, but just, and here’s the beautiful thing. If it comes up with five days and the middle day is, well, Kathi, you could have a stuffed green pepper with, now, Roger, what would be my response to eating a stuffed green pepper for lunch?

Roger (16:04.82)

no.

Kathi (16:06.083)

No. I hate green peppers. I hate them so – Yes. So what what could I then do with Claude who’s suggesting green peppers on Wednesday and Friday?

Roger (16:09.012)

You loved me.

Roger (16:20.532)

So this is the beautiful thing about these AIs is that the chat inside of these means you can go back and forth. Thank you for that menu suggestion. I don’t really like green peppers. Can you suggest some alternatives? So it doesn’t lose track of what it’s already the conversation so far, but it can kind of pick up from there and modify things. Well, you know, you can omit the green pepper. You could substitute in a zucchini or whatever is appropriate. So it really does have that chat aspect. You’re going back and forth with the AI. That wasn’t quite right, and here’s a suggestion. It’s OK to tell it that it got it wrong. It will apologize. It’ll trip over its own feet to apologize for getting it wrong for you. And we tend to end with thank you.

Kathi (16:58.979)

Yeah.

Kathi (17:14.883)

It’s amazing.

Yes, we do because we’re people pleasers and polite. Yes But you know if the robots do rise up, I want them to think of me favorably. I’m just kidding you guys. Okay Okay, let’s talk about my absolute favorite way to use AI This this is the game changer you guys. This is the this is the everything so my prompt would be

Roger (17:19.7)

Wait.

Yes.

Roger (17:28.596)

Ha ha ha!

Kathi (17:45.219)

Here are the seven recipes I’m going to cook this week. And I would put those recipes in if I’m getting them from, you know, if I’m retyping them from a book, if I’m getting them off the internet, whatever it is. Now.

Roger (18:00.468)

So you would cut and paste the whole recipe, all seven of the recipes. OK.

Kathi (18:02.627)

I would cut and paste the whole recipe, all seven of the recipes. AI, Claude, please make me a shopping list categorized by the aisles in a grocery store. And so I’ve got my dairy, I’ve got my bakery, I’ve got my canned goods, I’ve got my produce, I’ve got my meat and seafood. Guys?

Roger (18:31.156)

and it’s all laid out for you to just pick it up while you’re shopping.

Kathi (18:35.395)

Yes, so I take that shopping list and I go through my kitchen and I’m like, okay, well, I’ve already got onions. I’ve already got canned broth. I’ve already got garlic. I’ve already got frozen chicken. And so here’s what’s left to purchase. And then I just go onto my little Sam’s Club app or I go on to Target or to Rayleigh’s, which is a local grocery store. I type it all in, I place my order and I just drive there on Wednesdays and pick up all my groceries and my life is the best it’s ever been. It makes me so happy, so, so, so happy. I can’t even stand it. Yeah.

Roger (19:11.86)

Wonder.

Roger (19:19.156)

Hey, Kathi, for folks on a super tight budget, I know you’ve also played with adding prices to that. How did that work out?

Kathi (19:23.267)

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Well, it added out really, really well. So if you want to keep like, so I would say if you’re on a super tight budget, here’s what I would say is don’t plan the recipes, plan the ingredients. So what do you already have? Maybe what’s on sale at your local grocery store or? You know, what’s in season right now if you have a garden and plant. So reverse engineer it. So this would be more like the recipe recommendations that we talked at top. And I would say, hey Claude, I’m on a super tight budget. I only have $25 for groceries this week. This is what I have in my freezer, my fridge and my pantry. Please suggest the most budget friendly but delicious recipes that I can come up with. And I also believe it’s a great idea to keep track of prices. Some people are able to keep track of prices in their head. I’m just not one of those people. But I do like to say, you know, here at Sam’s, you know, I can put my Sam’s receipt into Claude and say, can you give me the prices here for everything. So it’ll say chicken breasts are this much or garlic is this much. And I can start to keep track of those in one clod conversation. And I can say, hey, chicken at Safeway is 9 .99 for this frozen pack of breasts. Is that a better price than at Sam’s? And it will tell me.

It’s just genius. I love it so much. But figure out, tell Claude what your problem is. Is it that you don’t have enough time? You don’t have enough energy? You don’t have enough money? What is the resource that’s the most struggling for you? Here’s another thing. What if you’re in a situation where you’re living in a camper right now? Claude, I need meals that…

Kathi (21:44.003)

can be prepared in the microwave. Or, you know, like tell Claude your circumstance and Claude will help you figure it out. Claude, I live in a food desert and the only store I have near me is Dollar General. Here’s, you know, and there, you could go and either Claude will know what’s typically at Dollar General or there’s an article online that says here are the foods that are typically at Dollar General. And you can figure out what it is that you could prepare. And by the way, if you, I think it’s Dollar Tree Meals. Okay, so there’s a Instagram or Dollar Tree Meals. If you’re on a super tight budget, I would go follow her. Yeah.

Roger (22:21.78)

Thanks.

Roger (22:36.34)

It’s almost like you’re playing a guy’s grocery game with Claude, right?

Kathi (22:39.651)

It’s it’s so true because on guys grocery tape game. You’ve got a limitation of money time Energy and you know what’s available or and you’ve got this specific challenge. I mean women are okay I know some guys cook but guys it’s mostly falling to us. We are playing guys grocery game every single day We’re trying to stay in budget. We’re trying to get something on the table quickly all of that Okay, other things that you can do cooking questions. This recipe calls for buttermilk, but I don’t have any. What can I use instead? How long can I safely store cooked chicken legs in the fridge? Those are great things. So cooking questions. Nutritional analysts. If you’re trying to up your fiber or trying to lower your macros or up your macros, like whatever it is, Claude can help with that and makes meal suggestions. Batch cooking and freezer meals.

What are some good recipes for making a big batch and freezing portions for later? Or how should I prep and freeze the components for this casserole recipe so I can assemble and cook it later? I love these things. I love these things. And by the way, we’re going to put all these prompts into the into the show notes so that you can just go grab them and see what we’re working with. And finally, number seven, utilizing leftovers. I have leftover grilled vegetables and quinoa.

How can I turn them into a new meal? I think that’s such a great question. What’s a creative way to use up extra roast chicken from last night’s dinner? We’re gonna be using this a lot as our zucchinis come in. Like, we’re gonna have a million, Claude’s gonna be helping us with the zucchini and tomato question all summer long, and it’s gonna be great. Roger, did I miss anything?

Roger (24:31.956)

You know, I love the idea of using this for things like food allergies and food preferences and those kinds of things. If it’s super important to you, like it’s important for your health, Claude can certainly help, but always double check the results. Don’t ever trust it blindly. Yeah, exactly.

Kathi (24:52.099)

Trust but verify. Yeah, yeah. If you’re like, Claude said I could use Worcestershire sauce and I’m a vegetarian, that’s something new I didn’t know I could use. No, if you’re surprised by an answer, and I don’t see a lot of mistakes with Claude, but I’m always going to verify. Just like, you know, Roger, if you told me, Worcestershire sauce is vegetarian and being a vegetarian is important to me.

I love you, but I’m not gonna trust you all the time. I’m going to verify. And so we, yes. Absolutely, absolutely. Roger, this has been super fun. And I really think that this is gonna be life -changing for a lot of people who feel stressed by cooking dinner every night, because it is every night. And I think that it’s gonna be really, really important.

Roger (25:23.828)

The more important it is to you, the more important it is to check the output.

Kathi (25:45.763)

And it’s not just dinner, it’s three meals a day. And so if Claude can help, I know wanting to eat three times a day, it’s ridiculous. Thanks for hanging out with me, Raj. Friends, you’ve been listening to Clutter -Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go live the clutter -free life you’ve always wanted to live.

#623 – 10 Ways to Buy Less Clothing

#623 – 10 Ways to Buy Less Clothing

623 10 Ways to Buy Less Clothing

Feeling overwhelmed with your clothing budget and need some help?

In this episode, Kathi Lipp and her co-host Tonya Kubo provide busy women with practical strategies to curb clothing purchases while still loving your wardrobe. With 10 doable tips, listen how they: 

  • Use Pinterest for clothes you already own
  • Create a capsule wardrobe
  • Take advantage of a personal uniform

Whether you’re a mom managing ever-changing clothing needs for kids or a woman who wants to balance style and space, this episode provides the encouragement and tactics you need. Join Kathi and Tonya as they discuss real-life ways to shop smarter and use what you own.

Click here to be notified when the next episode of Clutter Free Academy is released.

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The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Homesteading [hohm-sted-ing]
noun
1. an act or instance of establishing a homestead.
2. the act of loving where you live so much that you actively ignore the fact that your house is trying to kill you on a regular basis.

For Kathi Lipp and her husband, Roger, buying a house in one of the most remote parts of Northern California was never part of the plan; many of life’s biggest, most rewarding adventures rarely are.

Kathi shares the hard-won wisdom she’s gained on her homestead journey to help you accomplish more at home, gain fresh perspective, and give yourself grace in the process. Here’s a handful of the lessons Kathi shares:

  • Prepare before the need arises
  • Everything is always in process, including us
  • Your best household solution is time and patience
  • You don’t have to do everything the hard way
  • Be open to new and better ways of doing things
  • A lot of small changes make a huge difference.
    Highly practical, humorous, and inspirational, The Accidental Homesteader will encourage you to live with more peace, joy, and contentment.

Order your copy of The Accidental Homesteader: What I’ve Learned About Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home here.

Links Mentioned:

Rit Dye

Shout Color Catchers

Hate Stains (Kathi’s favorite stain remove)

Clutter Free Resources:

What things can you do to help you save during “No Buy July?”

Share them the comments!

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Tonya Kubo

Tonya Kubo is the illustrious and fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy Facebook group and the Clutter Free for Life membership program. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.tonyakubo.com.

 

Tonya Kubo Picture
Transcript
Kathi (00:00)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter -Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps every day to have less clutter and more life. And I am back with Tonya Kubo, and I’m not even joking, guys, this is our fourth time trying to record this episode. We really want you to have this information but apparently there are forces that do not want you to. And this isn’t about shame or guilt or fear. This is about buying less clothing. So I think it’s big clothing that is really messing with this podcast, Tonya Well, welcome back for the fourth time.

Tonya Kubo (00:33)
Ha ha!

Thanks for having me yet again!

Kathi (00:43)
Yet again, so guys, it’s so interesting. So we’re diving into this this coming month. We want you to have normally we’re talking about how to get stuff out of your house. But this a lot of our episodes a lot of our content this month is about bringing less stuff into your home. And so we’ve talked about that with food. I feel like clothing for us cluttery friends is one of those things where it’s very easy to Buy more than maybe we even love use or would buy again and Tanya you and I have talked about this before I would not consider you necessarily a clothes horse You always look cute. You just went to a wedding where you looked adorable You you you’ve had so many celebrations this month and you always look great

Tonya Kubo (01:35)
haha

Kathi (01:41)
I want to approach this from somebody who does probably, I like to buy clothes. Like that’s my thing. And since my body size has changed a lot over the past year, I’ve been buying more clothes. But you have two girls who are very into clothes for very different reasons. You’ve got Lily.

Tonya Kubo (01:49)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (02:08)
the the recycler, the upcycler, the she likes to buy from what am I trying to say there’s a word for she’s a thrifter that’s the word I’m looking for

Tonya Kubo (02:20)
Yes, Lily enjoys thrifting.

Kathi (02:24)
And then we have Abby who likes bright shiny things. Is this an accurate description of our two girls here?

Tonya Kubo (02:30)
Yes, yes, I would say so Lily wants nothing that is brand new or comes from a traditional store. Like she only wants thrift stuff and she will not set foot in a store unless she specifically needs an item.

Kathi (02:38)
Mm -hmm.

that’s really interesting. And then Abby, if she could have a brand new piece of clothing every single day, I’m sure that that would not be a problem for her.

Tonya Kubo (02:54)
That would actually not be enough. If she could have five new outfits a day, that might come close to meeting her needs.

Kathi (02:57)
Yeah.

I’ll never forget the first time she was really here at the Red House with us. And there were costume changes at least five times the first day she was here. There was an eating outfit. There was an outdoor outfit. There was a pre -bath outfit. There was an after bath outfit. So, but.

Tonya Kubo (03:14)
Yeah, we’re down to about three now. Three a day.

Hahaha

Kathi (03:28)
I do love clothes. I love them as an expression of who I am. And I do think that because I work full time and I’m on camera a lot, that there are, you know, I would like to have certain clothes and I would like to have those clothes be a reflection of who I am. So I also know though, that I can buy clothes mindlessly if I’m not intentional. And I’m really working on being intentional this year. So we have 10 ideas for about bringing less clothing into your life, but still getting to be the expressive person you are. So I’m going to start. And this is something that I’ve been doing that I feel like is really helping with my creative expression. And that is using Pinterest and other programs to put together outfits with clothes I already own. So.

Tonya Kubo (04:24)
Mmm.

Kathi (04:26)
I have clothes that work for me and I like to research. I would say that I’m probably a little bit more on the, well, I want to be on the boho artistic side of clothing. And so I don’t like things that are super fitted. I would like the clothing to be away from my body.

Tonya Kubo (04:42)
Mmm.

Hmm.

Kathi (04:51)
I also like to have things that are a little weird a little funky not always you know I’ve got my go -to stuff, but I like more of like buckle or Eileen Fisher those kind of things then You know I am definitely not preppy or anything like that and so I like to go on to Pinterest and Also, I am now considered midsize. Which means from probably like a 12 to an 18 size which Sometimes can fit into traditional clothing sizes, but sometimes fits in the plus size. It’s no man’s land it is hard out here for the midsize and Because things feel too small or too big it’s very hard to find exactly what I need So I like using Pinterest to kind of figure out how to put together things that I already have because it’s easier to

Tonya Kubo (05:20)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (05:50)
to put together outfits from things I already have than to go try to find something that fits, that doesn’t need to be altered. I would rather just stick to the clothes that I have and make sure that those work. And I already know I feel comfortable in them. I have certain pieces of clothing that I wanna wear till Jesus comes back. They just make me feel good. So I would rather find new ways to put those together with the jewelry I have, with…

Tonya Kubo (06:11)
Yeah

Kathi (06:18)
You know, and yes, I will buy something new every once in a while, but I want to use what I have instead of bringing new things into my life. Okay, number two, Tanya.

Tonya Kubo (06:31)
Yeah. So for number two, you know, I love how you’re talking about using more of what you have for me with two girls whose body sizes are constantly changing because they are not yet grown up. And then with me, what I have found is it is very easy to lose track of who has what, right? And so I think it’s really important to go through your closet and

Kathi (06:42)
Yeah.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (06:59)
take a really good inventory. I mean, if this is for yourself, you can take a very specific inventory. For kids, it’s a little hard because you actually never know where all their clothes are. Some might be in the car, some might be in the wash, but really looking for what are the true gaps? Because it’s one thing to be like, gosh, I wish I had a white sweater. And it’s a whole other thing to actually need a white sweater. So I think it’s important to go through,

Kathi (07:10)
Yeah.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (07:27)
everything at least twice a year and check everything from socks to underwear to outerwear and anything in between. And then make a list of the specific items you feel like you need to buy. And then I think prioritize that list according to season and need. So for us, you just mentioned we had a bunch of special occasions. Our girls don’t have dressy attire, right? They’re just kind of heading toward the end of the year. We knew they needed outfits for graduation. We also knew that I, as a mom, did not need a special outfit for graduation, but we all needed different outfits for the weddings that we’ve recently attended because one wedding was super formal, the other weddings were very casual. And it’s so nice when you can go in with an inventory and actually specifically decide, these are the gaps to fill. These are how many items I need to fill each gap.

Kathi (08:13)
Hmm.

Yeah, and I think being thoughtful about those things in advance, so you’re not panic buying, you’re not ordering a bunch of stuff online and praying that something works. I know I had an event that I needed something altered for, and it took me forever to find what I was looking for.

Tonya Kubo (08:38)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (08:50)
and I had to have a panic alteration and now I have found the alteration person. I’m so grateful. it makes a huge, right? My person is, she works out of her house. She’s very professional. She has a studio in her house, but like right now I’m kind of saving up things to take her all at once and God bless her. God bless her because now I have,

Tonya Kubo (08:55)
Same! I’ve been searching for years and finally found someone.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:20)
the pants that will work and the shirt. I don’t wanna panic buy anymore. And what you just talked about, identifying gaps in your wardrobe and saying, hey, do we have special occasions coming up or do we have special needs? I do an annual trip to Mexico with Encourage. And I know about that trip long in advance, but it’s hard to find things in March that…

Tonya Kubo (09:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (09:46)
are good for Mexico in April. So like, I just have to think about those things in advance. Okay, number three, give yourself a yearly limit on new clothes purchases. Now for some people, this might be a hundred items. I do not live in that reality, but one year I did, okay, I’m only buying 12 things this year. Now I could not have done that last year because of my changing body, but I am highly considering this for the coming year.

Tonya Kubo (09:49)
true.

Kathi (10:16)
Because the things that when I did this it was like two or three years ago that I did this and I was in a different size body I still have all those pieces. I’ve had them altered. I Because I love them so much. There was no panic buying there was no You know like this will be fine or maybe this would be good. No like those 12 items. It was once a month

Tonya Kubo (10:27)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (10:45)
Those are things that I love, continue to use and I would buy again. So I bought really long lasting pieces, things that I invested in. Now I will say these were more expensive pieces. These were things that it was like, yes, I wanna have this. But I know me, I am a compromiser. Like I want that hit, I wanna.

Tonya Kubo (11:04)
Mm.

Kathi (11:14)
buy something and I want to feel good in it. And when I buy those kind of compromised pieces, they don’t last. And so giving yourself a limit of what you can buy makes it so you’re more thoughtful, you’re probably saving up for those things and you’ll probably wear them longer and love them more. So I don’t know, you know, something to consider. You can’t really do that with kids

Tonya Kubo (11:41)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Kathi (11:44)
I get that because when their bodies change, you have to change with them. But.

Tonya Kubo (11:49)
Yes. And well, and I think it’s one of those things is everybody can come up with their own variation. So something we did that’s similar, if I can just jump in here, is I grew up in an environment where you went clothing shopping twice a year, right? Beginning of the fall semester, beginning of the spring semester. And what we found is that actually makes zero logical sense for us because our girls go through growth spurts at odd times.

Kathi (11:56)
Yeah.

Please.

Yes.

Yes.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (12:18)
You know, we had a situation where we did the school shopping thing in August and in October, Abby’s shoes were too tight. And when we took her to the store, we left with shoes that were three sizes bigger than the shoes we walked into the store with. Now, if I had bought her, you know, two pairs of shoes or three pairs of shoes in August, that would have been barely worn shoes that were in the donate pile. So what we do is we’re like, OK, how would.

Kathi (12:31)
Wow.

Yeah. Right.

Tonya Kubo (12:46)
exactly do we need right now to fill this gap? And then we just know that we may be back at the store buying a couple more shirts, a couple more pairs of pants, who knows what, in a couple of months. So I think that’s the other piece is maybe just limiting how much you buy at any one visit, especially if you’re shopping for people who are on growth spurts or have a growth spurt coming.

Kathi (13:00)
Yes, I think so.

I love it. Yep, exactly. You know, you have to work for what, you know, and when we were growing up, you would go to the big city to buy those clothes. And that’s not really how people live anymore. I mean, some of us do, but for the most part. Okay, number four, Tanya.

Tonya Kubo (13:19)
Mm -hmm.

So this is another great one for kids, but it’s also a great one if you are someone whose wardrobe is nearing the capacity of the space you have to store your clothing. So whether that’s dressers or closets or whatever, which is implementing a one in one out policy, right? For every new item you buy, donate or sell an existing item. You know, only like when you’re at the store, be thinking what item do I have at home that this item replaces?

Kathi (13:50)
Yes.

Tonya Kubo (13:57)
if it’s not filling a gap that you’ve already identified. And I feel like this has done a great job of teaching my girls how to manage the ebb and flow of stuff into their own spaces. So that’s sort of my thought. Like, I don’t know, maybe I’m overly romantic, but I just feel like it’s a great way without shame or judgment to teach clutter -free principles to younger people.

Kathi (14:14)
Yes, I, I, I.

Tonya, can I tell you how I have implemented this in two very practical ways? One, I have a clothes hamper for things I’m gonna donate. So those go into the clothes hamper, once they’ve been washed, they go into that clothes hamper, and when that’s full, I take it to our local donation center. Also, I have a set number of hangers, and everybody can determine their number of hangers. But if my drawers are not closing,

Tonya Kubo (14:41)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (14:56)
Or I don’t, I’ve run out of hangers, it means I have too many clothes. And that I need to go and curate that wardrobe. Okay, number five. Wait before you buy. So you might, if you are an impulse shopper, and I would say I lean towards that. I know a lot of people struggle with it way more than I do, but I do lean towards it. I would say,

Tonya Kubo (15:01)
Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (15:24)
Can you give yourself a seven day waiting period? If it’s not on sale, consider ordering that item to try on at home. Maybe to say, hey, I’m gonna try this on at home. I have a hard time trying things on like in dressing rooms. I don’t know why. If you do.

Tonya Kubo (15:35)
Mm -hmm.

Because you get sweaty and gross as somebody who spent some time in the dressing room last week, I will just tell you, ew.

Kathi (15:51)
Yes, yes, I don’t like it and especially with buying jeans. Can I just say buying jeans? I found some jeans at Target that worked for me and I ordered two more pairs because I’m like if I don’t have to try on jeans for another year, year and a half, that’s a good thing. It’s a really good thing. Keep the tags on until you actually wear it. In case you want to return it if you’re just not feeling it.

Tonya Kubo (16:08)
It’s a good life.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (16:19)
Then it’s okay to return that and be a good returner. That’s the thing I think that’s the most important thing. I only buy from places that are really good about returns Nordstrom is really good about returns Old Navy is really good about returns Target is really good about returns Macy’s I have found is not so I don’t buy from them anymore I have to know that it’s I need to not be shamed during a return

Tonya Kubo (16:23)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mmm.

You

Kathi (16:48)
And I have never had an ounce of shame from Nordstrom Target or Old Navy. They’ve been like, yeah, bring it back, it’s fine. And now I have bought things on clearance that I could no longer return. And I’m like, you know, somebody is going to love this. Okay, Tonya, we’re gonna take a break. We’re gonna go get this podcast paid for. And then we come back, you’re gonna talk about a capsule wardrobe. And I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on that. So.

Tonya Kubo (17:00)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (17:17)
We’re gonna go and come right back. Okay, we are back. Number six, Tonya, of how to buy less clothing.

Tonya Kubo (17:24)
Yay! Bring in the tip from the person who’s probably like the least proactive in handing out wardrobe advice. But I have to say that as somebody who doesn’t do a lot of clothes shopping, as somebody who just doesn’t enjoy like this whole experience of dressing myself, having items that easily mix and match.

Kathi (17:32)
No!

Tonya Kubo (17:49)
has been a game changer for me. And there’s two reasons. I live in a tiny house, right? Okay, not the official tiny home, but I live in a smaller home. We have two closets in this house. And so I need my clothes to take up as little space as possible. So I love having just a few pieces that work together, whether that is, you know, I know some people really like tank, like shells, right? So like little dressy tanks that you can pair with a bunch of different cardigans or a couple of cardigans for different looks. Same thing with short sleeve shirts or long sleeve shirts. I know some people like to dress things up with a vest, but for me, it’s really about finding fewer pieces. And this goes back to what you were saying earlier. They do, I find, need to be well -made. If you want to embrace the capsule wardrobe, these need to be pieces that can stand up to being worn three to five times in a week which in fast fashion, a lot of times those clothes are made thinking you’re gonna wear them maybe once a month. So you wanna be able to have clothes that can actually stand up to regular wear, which means they’re also standing up to regular washing and drying or hanging to dry and really looking at what are the pieces that just feel like you, that you’re okay wearing frequently. I’m a fan of color schemes, so I wear a lot of black and white with a little bit, like my favorite color is purple.

Kathi (18:46)
Yeah. Right.

Tonya Kubo (19:12)
I like to wear purples in varying tones. I don’t enjoy lavender, but like bright deep tones. I like magenta’s, any shade in the purple family, any shade in the pink family. I don’t do a lot of green. I don’t do a lot of blue, but I find that I get enough variety in just having black, white, a little bit of gray, some purple, some pink, and I’m happy.

Kathi (19:32)
Yeah, you know, and I think that that’s a really good point. You can go onto Pinterest and you can find color schemes that you can use and you can say, no, these are Kathi colors. And I was just at Moose’s oncologist and you know, I hate going there because of why we have to go there, but it is the most warm and loving.

Tonya Kubo (19:46)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:00)
Human being collection you will ever find and we just love those people and Ashley who is the receptionist every time I go in there she’s like I I love Your colors. I love what you wear. And so I I dress up for Ashley now I really do because she just makes me feel so good. What’d you say Tonya? Right and

Tonya Kubo (20:18)
dress up for somebody. I said you gotta dress up for somebody why not Ashley?

Kathi (20:26)
You know she goes you always wear these warm tones And it just makes me feel like you are so loving and approachable and she goes and I know you are loving it approach and I’m like, okay colors Can make us feel a certain way and so find the colors that make you feel that certain way I think that’s really really important. Okay number seven We’ve already talked a little bit about this but repair or alter clothing you already own. I have a pair of Jag pants

Tonya Kubo (20:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (20:55)
These are they’re like cargo pants. I’ve had them I’m not exaggerating for at least 15 years and If you turn them inside out there you can see the history of these clothing They’ve been taken in a couple of times my mom offered to take them in one more time and then they have patches on the inside of them where I was developing whole

Tonya Kubo (21:03)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (21:19)
I love these pants so much. I love them. Like if I could have one piece of clothing that’s like these are the most Kathi clothing, these are my favorite. But like Tanya and I find that alterations person that you’re just like, okay, they can perform miracles and they can do it when you need them to do it. I’ve got my person, she’s in Roseville. So it’s a bit of a hike. But we have to go to Roseville anyway because that’s where Moose has her oncology appointments. And I can take my things there and she has a room for me to change in and she pins it and she will have it done the next day. Now I don’t come back at least for a week, but it’s done. It’s done. And alterations are not cheap, but factor that into the purchase of the clothing, especially if you’re short. I’m not

Tonya Kubo (21:50)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (22:13)
short but I’m 5 ‘6 which is an inch taller than the average woman in the United States and I still have to have all my pants altered so I just factor that in now but you have found your person I have found my person it’s like finding that hairstylist isn’t it Tonya?

Tonya Kubo (22:20)
Mm -hmm.

Right, well and to your point, it’s if you can find your person who does alterations and have them be your person, then you will over time learn how much certain repairs cost to factor those into the purchase. Right, like we just took Lily’s graduation dress in, we just needed the straps to be shortened a little bit, that was $10. I found out during that same visit that having your pants hemmed,

Kathi (22:44)
Yes. Yes.

Tonya Kubo (22:58)
is $10. Having a seam repair is $8. So now I know if something happens to a shirt of mine or whatever, it’s like, okay, do I want to pay $8 to have the seam repaired or not? Right? And I think that can be so helpful versus going, my gosh, my favorite shirt just tore. It is irreplaceable. It is irreparable. Now I have to go buy a new shirt because I don’t know about you, Kathi but before I under like before I had,

Kathi (22:59)
Wow.

Yes.

Tonya Kubo (23:28)
tailors to work with, I would just assume, well, it’s cheaper to buy a new shirt.

Kathi (23:33)
Right. And we don’t want to be wasteful like that. Yes, absolutely.

Tonya Kubo (23:36)
And sometimes, don’t get me wrong, it is cheaper to buy a new thing. But not always.

Kathi (23:41)
Yes, but is it better? That’s the question. Is it better to buy a new thing? Okay, number eight, Tanya. We’re gonna blow through these.

Tonya Kubo (23:45)
Mm -hmm.

Yeah, so this is a big one, right? Which is unsubscribe from the emails that tempt you to do more shopping. Right? Like I, some people have better self -control than others, right? You can get hit every single day with a Kohl’s ad and never open that ad. Yay for you. Other people need to open it each time because there might be something here that I can’t live without that wasn’t in yesterday’s email.

Kathi (24:00)
Hmm, it’s so true.

Right.

Tonya Kubo (24:20)
So if you are that person who really just can’t not open them, then unsubscribe and trust that when you’re ready to go to that store again, you can subscribe again and usually you will get the first time customer deal, whatever that deal is. So you don’t have to worry about, there’s some great deal that I’m going to miss. The other thing that you can do if you really do feel like you want to stay on that email list because of something that may happen down the line and you want to know what they’re offering, use your email filters. Every email service provider has a filter. I just actually, I’ve been doing this, Kathi, you would be so proud of me, 20 minutes a day. I’ve been spending 20 minutes a day. I just go through the emails I’m getting and I just set up filters. And so now I have filters set up in my inbox, as of today, by the way. I have a whole shopping folder.

Kathi (25:02)
What?

Wow.

Tonya Kubo (25:16)
And then I have one that’s for under shopping. I’ve got one for groceries, one for restaurants, and one for like miscellaneous stuff, which was really the clothing shops. And I have it set now. It bypasses my inbox. So it instantly archives the email and it puts it in this folder. I never see it.

Kathi (25:35)
That is amazing. That is amazing. I do it a little differently. I have a totally different email for all those things. And so if I’m looking for it, I can go get it. Like this, we’re recording this the week of my birthday and there are all these like discounts and free little offers and things like that. Like, you know, I’m going to be jamming through all that stuff. And I, but it doesn’t tempt me in my regular email. And that’s a beautiful thing. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (25:42)
Mm -hmm.

Right.

Mm -hmm.

Yes.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (26:05)
Number nine, this is the question I ask myself. Will I wear this 30 times? I don’t know why I came up with the number 30, but will I wear this 30 times? And if the answer is no, then why am I buying it? Or if I’m trying to justify when I could wear this 30 times. Now, there are certain exceptions. Some dress clothes, I probably will not wear 30 times, but if it’s something that it’s like it’s for a special occasion that kind of thing I’m okay if it’s less but could I wear this to a wedding on a cruise? To church could I have it altered to wear a different way? I think it’s just an interesting question and number 10 Tonya

Tonya Kubo (26:56)
Yeah, so number 10, I feel like is how I live my life, which is create a personal uniform with a few key pieces you love. So I already talked about this a little bit in that, you know, I like black, white with a splash of purple or pink in it. And that makes a lot of sense for me. It works for my lifestyle. What it also does is it ensures that almost anything I pull out of the closet will go with whatever I’m wearing.

Kathi (27:05)
Yes. Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Tonya Kubo (27:26)
I discovered recently that, you know, I had a couple of things that were printed. I don’t usually wear a lot of prints. I’ll wear usually solid colors, but I had a couple of things that were printed and it was like, you know, trying to put a cardigan over it, but the cardigan hit like the wrong part of the print. And I was just like, I do not need printed things. Right. And most of these were just because of the way that the graphic was, but I would just say a personal uniform. Like for me,

Kathi (27:26)
Yes.

Yeah.

Tonya Kubo (27:54)
I know Monday through Friday, I am going to be wearing jeans because I almost never leave the house except if I’m taking kids to school or from, but I’m going to wear jeans. And if I’m recording, I’m going to wear a nicer top. And if I’m not recording, I’m going to wear a t -shirt. And it takes me like six minutes to get ready in the morning because I have that personal uniform, but it also,

Kathi (28:10)
Yep, there you go.

Tonya Kubo (28:19)
And Kathi, I want you to talk a little bit about this, because I feel like you are somebody who has actually taught on this more than I ever have, is I’m actually more productive because I haven’t wasted valuable energy making those decisions first thing in the morning.

Kathi (28:33)
Yeah, you know, I have to decide the night before what I’m wearing or the week before. You know, I put that all out because in the morning I need to hit the ground running like you do. I need to know what I’m wearing because I need to know what my day is going to consist of. So, you know, almost every day I’m recording something like we are today. And so I’ve got a cute top on. I’ve got some pants on.

Tonya Kubo (28:36)
Yeah.

Kathi (29:02)
Now, there are days where I’m going to be cooking all day because, you know, I’ve got a cookbook coming out and that’s probably going to be more of a yoga pant jean kind of, you know, situation. And so knowing what my day is going to be and I love the concept. Somebody told me this like 20 years ago and I love this. Getting dressed to the shoes. So looking what your day is going to be like.

Tonya Kubo (29:28)
Hmm.

Kathi (29:31)
not flopping around in slippers and then having to figure it out all day. Like I’ve got indoor shoes. I’ve got indoor shoes that I wear to keep my, you know, to not track the outside in. I learned that deeply when we had chickens and it just makes a lot of sense. Tonya, I’m gonna give a bonus. This is 11, but we didn’t really do 11.

Tonya Kubo (29:50)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (29:58)
This is gonna be a weird one, but I think it’s really it’s been something I’ve been doing a lot lately dying my clothes Some okay

Tonya Kubo (30:07)
I need to hear more. No, no, we did not talk about this, so you’re gonna have to dig a little deeper and hear from me.

Kathi (30:12)
Yes, so I have some clothing that I love, but maybe it’s gotten a stain on it. Or we have a friend of the podcast who sent me a lovely shirt for that chicken themed shirt. It’s a bright pink. Now, I realized I was not wearing it. Redheads and pink don’t always go great together. Just not going to lie.

Tonya Kubo (30:39)
Mm -hmm.

Kathi (30:41)
So what I have done is I bought some Rit fabric dye and I have some bonder. It’s like a bonding agent that you do with the Rit dye. And you have to, when you’re dyeing, ask me how I know this, you need a big pot so that the clothes are not like on top of each other. You want them to be kind of loose in the pot.

Tonya Kubo (30:46)
Mm -hmm.

Hmm.

Kathi (31:10)
And I tend to dye things a navy blue, because that’s a color I like to wear. But any rich color, like a forest green or a navy blue or a deep purple could probably work for this. I don’t tend to go lighter in my dyeing. I’m not that skilled. But like I said, a forest green, a dark purple, a red would be really good.

Tonya Kubo (31:19)
Mm -hmm.

Got it.

Kathi (31:39)
any of those darker or deeper colors and then I I dye the clothes and then I wash the clothes and When I wash the clothes again just the first time Shout has these things called color catchers that Yes, and so my mom’s a quilts artist. She uses those quite often and so those color catchers catch the color you know the first time you wash them

Tonya Kubo (31:58)
Yes, I’ve seen those.

Mm -hmm.

Kathi (32:09)
But I have saved a lot of clothing that I really, really love by dyeing it a navy. And I’m not re -buying the clothes, I’m buying the dye, which I usually buy at Joann’s and I wait till I have a coupon and things like that. But I’ve saved a lot of sweatshirts, a lot of t -shirts, pants, because I have dyed them a navy blue.

Tonya Kubo (32:17)
Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Okay, so now I have to ask a question. This is of course on behalf of the listeners. I have no personal stake in the answer to this question. But how, right, how does that work with like stained clothing? Like if you have grease stains on something, would dyeing fix that or no?

Kathi (32:40)
Of course, you’re in service to them.

Yeah. So I try to get out as much of the stain as possible. I use, now I can’t remember the name of the stain remover I use, but I will find it and I will post it. And it’s a special formulation that really gets a lot of stains out. As long as this can be as light as possible, I feel, and here’s the thing. I dye dangerously. Like if I dye something and it doesn’t come out how I would like it to, I’m okay with that because I was probably gonna pitch that piece of clothing anyway. So I get as much of the stain out as I possibly can and then I die dangerously and I would say 19 times out of 20 I have saved that piece of clothing. And yeah, so I’m glad you like that. Okay.

Tonya Kubo (33:18)
Hahaha.

Mm -hmm. Got it.

Nice.

Kathi (33:46)
Tanya, we are doing something interesting in the month of July in Clutter Free Academy. Can you talk a little bit about this?

Tonya Kubo (33:52)
We are.

Yeah, so each July we typically do this challenge in Clutter Free Academy, which is our free Facebook group. We also do it in our paid membership program, Clutter Free for Life, which is a no buy July, right? Where our goal is to not have any discretionary spending. However, this year we’re doing things a little bit differently in that we are having a low buy July challenge. And the reason we’re doing a low buy July challenge is for a couple of reasons. First of all. We love our cluttery people. Our cluttery people want so desperately to be A++ students in everything that we host, because they are such super fans of all things clutter free and clutter free for life. And the problem is, is our members would get really upset if they had something unexpected happen. For instance, the refrigerator would die, the washing machine died, and they’d say, I failed the challenge because I had to go buy a new washer. And what you realize, Kathi, so credit goes to Kathi, send all your kudos and compliments via email to her.

Kathi (35:01)
complaints, we’re fine with that too.

Tonya Kubo (35:03)
Yeah, usually I take the complaints. You can have the compliments, but Kathi’s, you know, pointed out that it kind of shifted the focus away from where it really needs to be. The goal here is to minimize the amount of clutter coming into your home by minimizing impulse buying and reducing the amount of discretionary spending we do because we know that costs are going up all the time. So a low buy July isn’t so much about

Kathi (35:05)
Yeah

Tonya Kubo (35:30)
what you do or don’t buy. It’s really about the intention that goes into each buying decision in the month of July. And I think Kathi, you are the one who said, like, this is the kind of principle that can get carried on throughout the year. It doesn’t live and die in the month of July each year.

Kathi (35:50)
I will tell you, Tanya, we’ve done this no buy July a couple of times, now we’re doing low buy July, and I am amazed how starting in July, we buy almost nothing from Amazon. It’s amazing. And August, September, October, we buy almost nothing from Amazon. And then starting in, you know, January, February, we start to buy more from, well, December really, because of Christmas and stuff like that. But it really does change our habits. Now it changes our habits for about six months and then we start to fall back into old habits. But we’re getting better and better every year. And let me give you an idea of how I think low buy versus no buy can really set us free.

Tonya Kubo (36:29)
Right.

Kathi (36:43)
You know, we just talked about dyeing our clothes, right? by the way, also black. If you like to wear black, black is a great color to dye your clothes. Yeah, there you go, there you go. But in a low buy July, one of the activities I would love to see you do is buy the dye so that you could save the clothes.

Tonya Kubo (36:46)
Mm -hmm.

I was thinking I’m just gonna dye everything black.

oooo

Kathi (37:11)
Do you see what I’m saying? Like that small purchase, you know, you’re not buying clothes in July, I’m hoping, you know, or you’re buying just a couple of things. But what’s a great activity to save some of those clothes or to keep you from buying new black cargo pants, new black t -shirts, you dye the stuff you already have. You know, if you have a bunch of eggs at your house and instead of,

Tonya Kubo (37:29)
Mm.

Kathi (37:41)
buying the angel food cake, you say, I’m gonna make it, but you don’t have the cake flour? I’d love for you to go buy the cake flour so that you can learn this new skill and you can make your own angel food cake. Those are the kind of things that I would love for you to see you incorporate into a low buy July. So you have these new skills that will carry you forward.

into not wasting food, into not buying clothes. That’s the kind of ingenuity and coolness I want to see in a low buy July

Tonya Kubo (38:18)
Right, and what I’m really looking forward to, and I hope if you are listening and you’re not in the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group, I really hope you’ll join us this month because what I’m looking forward to is the creativity. We have some of the most creative, generous members you can possibly imagine. And I just know that this year with this difference in focus, they are going to knock our socks off with some of the ways that they choose to implement these principles.

Kathi (38:30)
Yes.

Guys, this was a super -sized episode, but I think we had some great conversations, and I hope you will join us over in the Clutter Free Academy Facebook group. We’ll put the link here in the notes, but if you just search for Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Academy, it’s free to join, and you’re gonna love the encouragement you’re gonna get this year. Tanya, thanks so much for being here.

Tonya Kubo (39:12)
Thanks for having me.

Kathi (39:13)
And friends, thank you for being here. You’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

 

#616 The Great Closet Cleanse: A Wear-It-All Challenge

#616 The Great Closet Cleanse: A Wear-It-All Challenge

616 – The Great Closet Cleanse: A Wear-It-All Challenge

Hey there friends! Have you ever found yourself staring into an overflowing closet, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of clothes you’ve accumulated? This is the episode for you! We’re so excited to share this conversation with the amazing Lauren Horst. Lauren has taken on the ultimate closet cleanse – wearing every single item she owns to assess what pieces spark joy and which ones need to go. It’s a practical, eye-opening approach that just might be the closet cure we’ve all been looking for. Listen in as we discuss:

  • How to come to your closet with curiosity
  • How to curate what’s best in your closet
  • How to clean out your closet by wearing everything you own

So grab a cozy seat and get ready to be inspired as we dive into Lauren’s wear-it-all journey!

Follow Lauren Horst on Tik Tok

Sign up here to receive Kathi’s free Clutter Free Kit resource.

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The Clutter-Free Home: Making Room for Your Life

When it comes to your home, peace is possible…

Longing for a place of peace from which you can love others well? The Clutter-Free Home is your room-by-room guide to decluttering, reclaiming, and celebrating every space of your home.

Let author Kathi Lipp (who once lived a life buried in clutter) walk you through each room of your house to create organizational zones that are not only functional and practical but create places of peace that reflect your personality. Kathi will help you tackle the four-step process of dedicate, decide, declutter and “do-your-thing” to reveal the home you’ve always dreamed of, and then transform it into a haven that reflects who you truly are meant to be.

If you’re also feeling overwhelmed by the care and upkeep of all the stuff under your feet or sense that your home is running you, instead of the other way around, come discover how to create a space that doesn’t have to be showroom perfect to be perfect for you and the people you love.

Order your copy here!

Favorite Links:

Lauren Horst on Tik Tok lauren_horst

 

 

 

Are you inspired to take on this “Wear Everything You Own” challenge? What are you hoping to discover?

Share your answer in the comments.

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

Lauren Horst

Lauren makes casual and relatable TikToks, encouraging others to declutter and simplify their life while also maintaining a sense of style!

Find her on Tik Tok at Lauren Horst.

Transcript

Kathi (00:00)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter Free Academy where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life.

And I have been very, very excited about this interview for a while now. I want to introduce you guys to Lauren Horst. Now, we just found out that I thought we just knew each other. She recognized the podcast. She’s listened to the podcast before. But turns out she was one of the interns at my church where my kids were in the high school group. So we’re like…

old friends, Lauren, and we didn’t even realize it.

Lauren (00:42)
Totally. San Jose, as big as it is, is such a small world.

Kathi (00:46)
It really is, isn’t it? It’s just crazy. Now, here’s the thing. I am so excited about this because I came across you on TikTok. And let’s just say, TikTok’s a big place, right? And you came up in my FYP, if you guys don’t know it, that for you page. So it’s not like I was subscribed to Lauren. It was just saying, the algorithm was saying, hey, I bet you’d like Lauren.

And so I started following her and she was cleaning out her closet. Wait, you say it the same every single day. Go ahead and say it.

Lauren (01:21)
Yes, I say cleaning out my closet by wearing everything I own.

Kathi (01:25)
Yes. Every day she shows up on TikTok and she’s put together a new cute outfit. I started following her and I thought, every once in a while I get my bravery up and I go to one of these big TikTokers and I say, would you come on my podcast? Lauren’s like, I know your podcast. I’m like, okay, this is crazy. Now to find out, we were in the same building forever and ever. I was so excited about this topic because

You’re not just putting together outfits, which is what, let’s be honest, a lot of 30, 40, 50-year-olds are doing on TikTok, and I love to watch it, but you’re cleaning out your closet at the same time, right? Okay, I wanna know what inspired you, first of all, to do this challenge, and second of all, to do it on TikTok.

Lauren (02:08)
Yes, exactly.

You know, I love anything related to decluttering. I feel like it’s just a hobby. And obviously minimalism is a really big trend right now, but I just think it makes so much sense for your life, for your stress levels, for just managing your home. And so I’ve watched many, many a video where people declutter their closet, kind of go through, you know, reorganize things, get rid of things, try things on. And I feel like I’ve just taken

Kathi (02:26)
Yeah.

Lauren (02:46)
bits and pieces of wisdom from people that I’ve watched. And I’m like, you know, one piece that I really like is when you try an item of clothing on, you try it on, you wear it for, you know, three to five minutes as you’re looking in the mirror, you feel unsure about it, you’re not sure, it kind of goes into a maybe pile that ends up just in the abyss of, you know, the closet. And so for example, one piece of advice that…

Kathi (03:10)
Right.

Lauren (03:13)
I’ve taken from someone over the years is if you are unsure about a piece of clothing, you have to wear it the whole day. By the end of the day, you will know whether or not you want to keep it, you’ll know whether or not you feel great, you love it, or you’ll be like, yeah, no, this is an item that I am ready to pass along. So I feel like I’ve just taken all these little bits and pieces. And that kind of inspired me to do this closet clean out, which is really a slow and steady wins the race method.

And that has really taken months, but it’s something where, you know, at the end, I will have a much more curated wardrobe that really works for my lifestyle.

Kathi (03:52)
Okay, listeners to the podcast know that my favorite word in the whole world is curated. Because, yes, because it’s on purpose. It’s honed in and it’s on purpose. And I love this so much. Okay, why did you do it on TikTok?

Lauren (03:58)
Oh really?

Um, you know, I, well, I just love TikTok. I mean, TikTok is like the vortex where all of a sudden you’ve spent two hours, you know, searching around things and discovering all sorts of things you never knew. And I feel like TikTok is just such an easy platform. I film directly into TikTok. I don’t, I really don’t do like hardly any editing on my videos other than just a voiceover at the end. So for me, making a TikTok takes me approximately two minutes every day.

Kathi (04:13)
Me too.

Yes.

Mmm.

Lauren (04:38)
which is about all that’s doable with my life.

Kathi (04:41)
right? And did you want to do it for, I mean, I love TikTok too. Did you want to do it for accountability? Were you sharing it with some people you already knew and trying to inspire them? Like what? Because it’s, I love TikTok too, but I am not filming myself on there every day.

Lauren (05:01)
Yeah, I think accountability and the whole idea is that if you’re actually wearing all of… So most people, what is it that they say? Most people only wear 20% of their wardrobe, 80% of the time, whatever that statistic is. And so what I was finding is you wear all your favorite pieces, you do laundry, they’re back in your closet, then you wear them again. You do laundry, they’re back in your closet. And what’s happening with the rest of the clothes that are hanging there? Well…

Kathi (05:13)
Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Lauren (05:29)
If you are challenged to wear everything, you know, when it comes to choosing an item in your closet, all your favorites are in the laundry and you go to pick out a shirt and you’re not that excited about it. I mean, at what point in time will you be excited about it when it’s the only option there and you still don’t really want to wear it, then it’s probably just something that you need to declutter.

Kathi (05:51)
And I feel like this theory goes for a lot of things. Like, those frozen bags of vegetables in your freezer, if I keep passing over them, maybe it’s just time to say, you know, I wanna eat healthy, but lima beans are not the way to do it for me. I’m happy for other people, but it’s not the way to do it for me.

Lauren (06:11)
Yes, exactly.

Kathi (06:15)
Were you surprised by anything in this process of getting rid of clothes? What I’ll do is I’ll make sure that we link to your TikTok here in the notes so people can kind of see what your style is. I would say you’re pretty classic with a sparkle thrown in. Does that feel like an accurate?

Lauren (06:38)
Totally. I, you know, I’m in my mid 30s. So I love classic silhouette. I work with college students. And so I do not like to be mistaken for a college student. I want to dress accordingly. But I love color patterns, prints, sequins. I do a lot of events and so get dressed up for certain things like that. And so yeah, I definitely wear some more bold pieces. But in my everyday to day life, I would say I’m pretty classic.

Kathi (06:42)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, and did you discover anything about yourself, your closet, the way you want to dress through this process?

Lauren (07:17)
You know, I think I have just really discovered some silhouettes and some cuts that just don’t necessarily work for my body type or my lifestyle. And I consider myself to be pretty frugal. I love to find a good deal on clothes. And so something that has been challenging is I’m like, well, I don’t wanna just give this away to goodwill because I spent money on it. And it was now it’s, now it seems like a waste of money.

but really being able to look at my closet and have space and not be searching for things. And every item I grab is something that I love wearing. That completely outweighs the money that I’ve wasted in the past. And now I know what I’m looking for when I’m shopping. I know the type of cut I need. I know the type of sleeve that I need. And so when I pull something out of my closet, sometimes I can immediately say like, oh yeah, I’ve had this shirt. I’ve worn this before.

Kathi (08:06)
Mmm.

Lauren (08:13)
but this is no longer gonna work for me now that I know what I’m looking for.

Kathi (08:17)
You know, I think one of the best things you can learn from all this, first of all, I feel like sometimes we have to spend money on those quote unquote mistakes to really understand our own personality. The people that we admire the way they dress, they don’t get it right the first time every time. But I will say my best frugal fashionista friends, they are really good at returning things that they’re like, this is not the vibe.

I love that, you know, sometimes we have things sitting around in our closet for years because we feel like, okay, well, I just bought this, it doesn’t work for me, but I can give it away after five years. It’s like, no, don’t let that mistake sit in your closet. That’s all it is, is a mistake. Get it into the hands of somebody who will love it. And we’re going to take a quick break. But when we come back, you have a special way of giving things away that I think others will be interested in, or who you give it away to.

And I think people will be interested in hearing that. So we’re going to take a quick break and come right back. OK, guys, we are back with Lauren Horst. And we are talking about cleaning out your closet by actually wearing everything in it. And you do get rid of things. I see you get, I don’t know if you get rid of things every day, but I would say at least every third day, you’re putting something into a pile to give away. Wouldn’t you say? Yeah.

Lauren (09:42)
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. Maybe not every single day, but I mean, pretty often, I feel like it is, it’s much easier to give away things like this slowly over time because I have time to think about it. I’m seeing things in my closet versus just, you know, a two hour closet clean out where you feel like you need to make a decision right away. So I definitely have gotten rid of a lot, which

You know, on the other hand, I’m like, man, I still have so many clothes, which goes to show you like the inner hoarder of clothing that I actually have.

Kathi (10:14)
Well, you know what? I think clothes are such a beautiful self-expression. And there’s responsible ways of building a wardrobe. And I often hear you say things like, oh, I bought this five years ago. And you wear a lot of your clothes all the time. And let’s be clear, you have to get dressed seven days a week. You’re going to church, you’re going to work.

maybe Saturdays you can kind of kick it back, but you’re getting dressed all the time. And for us to be able to do that and do it and keep it interesting for us as self-expression, you need some clothes, you need some depth in your wardrobe. Now, you give away your clothes too, so talk about that.

Lauren (11:03)
Yeah, so usually what I do is the first draft of the clothes that I’m getting rid of, I work at a university and I bring them to my office and the girls who work in my office get to go through everything first. So they get first picks of everything and I know kind of now their style. So sometimes I’ll pick something out of my closet and I’m like, oh, I know so-and-so would really love this. Turns out they do.

So it’s really fun coming to work because some days I come to work and everyone in the office is wearing like my hand-me-downs Which is such a compliment

Kathi (11:37)
That’s so awesome. Yeah, and I think so often when it comes to clothes, our quote unquote mistakes are just to pass through our hands. Like those girls in your office may have never had the opportunity to buy those clothes, whether it’s budget or they don’t shop in that store, et cetera, but you get it into their hands. And what a gift that is. And I feel like as I clean out my closet, I get more specific about

the gaps in my closet. So I know exactly what I want to complete an outfit or to bring in a new trend that’s I’m not really trendy, but there are some things I like and I want to try out. But I get very specific instead of just buying things because they look cute. Do you feel like the challenge has changed your shopping habits at all?

Lauren (12:30)
You know what it has? Because along with clearing out my closet, I’ve been also trying to implement a one in, one out. So when I’m shopping and when I see something, at this point, I’ve kind of narrowed down my closet enough that pretty much everything in it, I like for the most part. And I’m just starting to be more ruthless to just be a little bit more minimal with my clothing. But I have to outweigh, this is a really cute dress. Do I wanna get rid of one of my other dresses?

Kathi (12:38)
Yeah.

Lauren (12:58)
for this item. And a lot of times the answer is no.

Kathi (13:02)
Yeah, I think when you’ve been buying clothes for a couple of decades, you start to really know what works. I’ve just recently lost a lot of weight. Thank you, Ozepik. It’s a testament to me that so many of my clothes I don’t want to get rid of, I want to get altered. Because I’m like, yeah, no, that one has served me well.

I don’t want to get rid of it. I want to continue wearing it. I just need to do that in an altered state. I think that’s beautiful. Have you noticed that there are certain brands of clothing that fit you better, that are more for the silhouette you’re looking for, or is it still, you know, is it kind of all over the map?

Lauren (13:51)
You know, it’s a little bit all over the map. But I really like J. Crew Factory. That’s one that I really like. Madewell a lot of times has, I really like their, this is actually one of those shirts, like 100% light spun cotton. I love that fabric and that feeling. So more so rather than specific brands, because I also do like to shop off Poshmark, I like to thrift. I’m looking more now for certain fabrics.

Kathi (13:57)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren (14:21)
Um, so definitely trying to stay away from the polyester as much and just looking for fabrics that will last longer, um, especially with sweaters. And, uh, because then I know that I’ll have them, the longevity in my closet will last much longer than some of the fabrics that are a little bit cheaply made.

Kathi (14:21)
Oh.

Okay, and that’s called spun cotton, what you’re wearing right there.

Lauren (14:42)
It’s like it’s a light spun cotton and so it kind of has that gauzy cotton material. That’s just super comfy Yeah, I love like the soft super soft comfortable shirts

Kathi (14:44)
Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah.

So I would love to hear any of your tips now that you’ve done this closet curation for thrifting. Because you can’t really say when you’re thrifting, oh, I want a coral sweater that has three buttons that is a size XL. You don’t get to do that. So how do you thrift without bringing too much into your wardrobe?

Lauren (15:19)
Um, you know, with thrifting, I’m really not looking so much for the basics to add to my closet that you can kind of find, you know, at Target or wherever else as far as you know, basic t shirt, tank top, things like that. thrifting, I’m looking more for something that’s vintage, something that’s one of the one of a kind. One of the things that I found more recently was this kind of silky material, it actually had shoulder pads that were sewn in that I cut out. And it has music notes all over it, which is perfect.

Kathi (15:24)
Mmm.

Uh-huh.

I hope… Yeah.

Lauren (15:49)
I work in music. I was like, that’s such a fun novelty item. It’s cream. So it’s still a neutral and will go with everything that I wear for work. But something like that for $5 or whatever it was, I’m like, that is a one of a kind find that really when I’m thrifting, I’m just kind of looking for some of those novelty items that are at a good price.

Kathi (16:09)
Oh, I love it. That’s such a great perspective to go in with, that you’re looking for those, you know, one of a kind of things. That you, it’s not going to be your basic jeans necessarily. You might find those there. I don’t know, jeans are just a whole other thing. It’s just a, jeans and bathing suits. And I’m going to Cabo this month and it’s like, I haven’t come to tears, but I’ve…

Lauren (16:28)
Totally.

Kathi (16:38)
thought about tears when it comes to shopping for that. So I kind of push back on capsule wardrobes. I feel like it puts a lot of pressure for your clothes to do 10 things with one item, which can be great.

I don’t know. It’s hard for me to say, oh, I’m going to embrace a capsule wardrobe. How do you feel about capsule wardrobe?

Lauren (17:10)
You know, capsule wardrobes are so popular right now. And it is just one of those things that I feel like I have not been able to get behind. It makes perfect sense that what you buy and piece together matches with everything else. So you can really mix and match. So I think it does make sense for a lot of people who are just looking for that ease and getting dressed in the morning. I think for me, I just love color and novelty and different types of outfits.

Kathi (17:18)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren (17:36)
So, you know, one day I’ll be wearing jeans, a sweater, and boots, and the next day I’ll be wearing some crazy print dress, you know, with super bright colored heels or whatever it may be. So I think because my, I don’t know, my mood or my aesthetic changes from day to day, I don’t wanna feel locked into a capsule wardrobe. I would rather have a little bit of a bigger closet with more variety because I think just getting dressed is fun, it’s an expression of who you are.

Kathi (17:51)
Yeah.

Lauren (18:05)
And a lot of times I come to work, the same girls that work in my office, I have, I have like a super bright colored tropical shirt, and they nicknamed that birds of paradise. So sometimes I’ll come to work and you know, I’ll have an outfit that gets nicknamed something and it’s just it’s just a fun expression of who you are. And so I don’t want to be locked into a capsule word.

Kathi (18:16)
Oh!

And I feel like those of us who struggle with clutter, so those are the people who are listening to this, we are creative. We are, you know, we love self-expression. And I think it’s easy for us to have too much in our wardrobe, but I also feel like having too little would be stifling to a lot of people. And I love a capsule wardrobe for a trip. Like I love being able to, you know, mix and match and do that kind of thing, but for everyday life.

Like you I want variety. Okay, if somebody is going through their own closet challenge What would be your advice to them? What do you wish you would have known on day one because now we’re almost at day 100 You’ve had a hundred days of wisdom. Tell us about

Lauren (19:13)
You know, I think there’s a feeling when you put on an outfit and you feel really confident, you love what you’re wearing. I think you go about your day differently. I think you interact with people differently. You feel different about yourself, whether you go to an office, whether you’re working from home. There’s just something that is uplifting when you’re wearing an outfit that you really love. And so I would challenge anybody.

that you can have a closet where every single thing you pick is something that you love wearing and feel confident in and Life is too short to wear that shirt where you’re pulling at it and tucking it and it just doesn’t quite fit the right and It’s too tight on the sleeves that just uncomfortable feeling where you’re like for whatever reason the color the fit the style I just don’t love what I’m wearing Just get rid of it. You will be so much happier with a closet where you love every single piece

Kathi (20:05)
It is so true. You just talked about Madewell and I bought a Madewell shirt and I couldn’t realize, I didn’t know why I was avoiding wearing it. It’s cute. It’s one of my favorite colors and so I wore it this weekend. I’m like, oh, I remember why I don’t like this shirt. It’s a belly shirt. Shirts are so short these days and I’m like, yeah, that’s…

That’s not for me. And now it’s actually going into the giveaway pile, into the, I don’t know why I put it away. Did I magically think it was gonna get longer? I don’t know. But I want to be able to approach my closet and be confident, even if half of it is in the laundry, that there’s gonna be something there that I’m gonna feel confident and love wearing. And what I love, and I was talking to our paid group today this morning.

I don’t know that you’ve ever used this word, but what I love about your approach is I feel like you come to your closet with curiosity. You are trying things on and saying, does this work for me? And then you might go switch out a pair of pants. I’ve seen you do that a couple of times. You’re trying things on and you’re trying them in different things to say, is this going to work? And I’ve seen you come home and say, yeah, nope.

That’s the last time I’m wearing this. And it’s gonna be great for somebody, it’s just not great for you, and I love that. Lauren, we’re gonna put your link to your TikTok, so other people can follow along on your journey as they are cleaning out their closets as well and curating what’s best. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today.

Lauren (21:53)
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I love your podcast. I love how much you inspire other people to declutter different aspects of their lives, which is such a broad topic, but decluttering can benefit everyone.

Kathi (22:08)
Yes, well, and I will always hold dear that this was your first podcast interview. And by the way, you slayed. So you did such a great job. And friends, you’re the most important part of this little threesome here. We’re so glad you’re here. You’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. I’m Cathy Lip. Now go create the clutter free life you always wanted to live.

Lauren (22:17)
Thank you.

#615 Breaking Free from Decorating “Rules”: Creating a Home You Love Part 2

#615 Breaking Free from Decorating “Rules”: Creating a Home You Love Part 2

615 – Breaking Free from Decorating “Rules”: Creating a Home You Love Part 2

Are you struggling with judgmental voices from your past that insist your home décor must be showroom perfect?

Shun the shamers in your head and learn how to break free of their nitpicky demands!

Join Kathi and bestselling author Myquillyn Smith, also known as “The Nester,” as they continue their discussion about Myquillyn’s new book, “House Rules: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget.” They’ll delve into:

  • Why you don’t have to fill every empty space
  • Using the concepts of “house hushing” and “one sane space” to quiet your quarters
  • Getting past perfectionism to love your space your way

As Kathi says in today’s episode, “if you love your house enough, it doesn’t matter what other people think.” Tune in now to learn how to make this your motto!

Order a copy of Myquillyn Smith’s newest book House Rules here

Sign up here to be notified when the next episode is released.

Would you like to receive Kathi’s Clutter Free Kit in your inbox? Sign up here.

The Clutter-Free Home: Making Room for Your Life

When it comes to your home, peace is possible…

Longing for a place of peace from which you can love others well? The Clutter-Free Home is your room-by-room guide to decluttering, reclaiming, and celebrating every space of your home.

Let author Kathi Lipp (who once lived a life buried in clutter) walk you through each room of your house to create organizational zones that are not only functional and practical but create places of peace that reflect your personality. Kathi will help you tackle the four-step process of dedicate, decide, declutter and “do-your-thing” to reveal the home you’ve always dreamed of, and then transform it into a haven that reflects who you truly are meant to be.

If you’re also feeling overwhelmed by the care and upkeep of all the stuff under your feet or sense that your home is running you, instead of the other way around, come discover how to create a space that doesn’t have to be showroom perfect to be perfect for you and the people you love.

Order your copy here!

Favorite Links:

Myquillyn Smith’s website TheNester.com.

Myquillyn Smith on Instagram @thenester

Order Myquillyn’s newest book HOUSE RULES: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget here

Take Myquillyn’s decorating quiz here

Where is your “one sane space?” Share your answer in the comments.

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

Myquillyn Smith

MYQUILLYN SMITH, also known as “The Nester,” is the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Welcome Home and Cozy Minimalist Home. For the past 17 years, she’s been encouraging women to embrace their space—imperfections and all—and make it their own. Her previous homes have been featured in Better Homes & Gardens, Ladies’ Home Journal, and Cottages & Bungalows. She recently purchased and redecorated a1905 Queen Anne Victorian home in Morganton, North Carolina, the inspiration for her new book House Rules. She’s never met a home she didn’t love.

Find her online at TheNester.com and on Instagram @thenester.

Transcript

Kathi (00:00.174)

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And guys, I just, yeah, if you heard last week, you know I’m gushing, I’m not gonna gush all this time, but it’s Myquillyn Smith. The book is House Rules. You guys, she is my favorite decorating guru.

And I know you shouldn’t have gurus. You shouldn’t because you gotta create your own style. But she has helped me figure out who I am and how to live in my house. And I want her to do the same for you. Plus, you guys, she gets people who maybe wanna keep too many things in their house. She is not, she’s not judgmental. She understands our people. Myquillyn welcome back to the podcast.

Myquillyn (00:57.51)

I’m so glad to be here. You are my people. I love it.

Kathi (01:01.722)

Yes, yes, we need to we have to have a lot of crossover in our communities. I’m 100% And guys if you haven’t listened to last week go back and listen to that that’ll give you a lot of context for this week But I uh, I may love this book as much as I loved your first book Again, it’s House Rules: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget And the reason that I love your book so much is because well

This is called House Rules. You don’t have a lot of rules or you teach us how to break the rules that maybe, I don’t know if other people feel like this, that I’ve had some very judgmental voices, house decorating voices in my head from the past and maybe kind of kept myself a little trapped. Have you ever worked with anybody like that?

Myquillyn (01:55.125)

Yeah, I mean, I have myself, I have experienced that as well, thinking I am going to get shamed or I’m gonna get told off or someone comes in my house and says, we need to get those drapes hemmed and when are we going to do this, that and the other to finish the house? That’s the kind of, yeah, I’ve experienced that myself and had to pull up my big girl pants and say, this is it, this is what I’m choosing to do so that I can

Kathi (01:57.62)

Okay.

Myquillyn (02:24.897)

have the rest of my life be full and look the way I want it to look.

Kathi (02:29.822)

You know, I remember when we sold our last house, it was, I loved it, I loved it so much. But the one thing my husband and I just said, okay, you know what, it’s just not as important to us as it is to other people. And you guys are gonna, everybody’s gonna scream when they hear this. We had popcorn ceilings. And in California, they’re very expensive to get rid of. And it’s like

we had to make choices and people would come in and say, and what are we gonna do about those popcorn ceilings? I’m like, if that’s the first thing you notice in my beautiful home, then, you know, my decorating style is not for you. It just isn’t. And so I think it’s so interesting what some people fixate on when they’re in other people’s homes. And we think, oh, nobody’s gonna notice. And it’s just weird that some people do, isn’t it? That what…

What are we going to do about those drapes on the floor? I mean, we’re going to enjoy them and love them and see that they pool beautifully. Ha ha.

Myquillyn (03:34.362)

Feel free to do something with your own money and your time.

Kathi (03:40.198)

Yes, you have volunteered. Well, okay. So I think that if you love your house enough, it doesn’t matter what other people think. It really, really doesn’t. But you have to love it. You have to say, this is what I’m doing to make my house as loving and lovely as possible. I want to dig into your rules here, because we’ve already done seven and five, you can’t ruin something you already hate and resourcefulness is the ultimate resource. But let’s talk about

Okay, this is for my cluttery girls. Rule 11, luxury isn’t having more, it’s needing less. Talk to, okay, I’m not gonna say a word, just talk to us.

Myquillyn (04:21.693)

Okay, I was reluctant to learn this because all of my life I feel like luxury is having everything at your fingertips, no matter what you could possibly need. That is the very definition of luxury. So we moved into this house and it’s a 1905 Queen Anne Victorian. And I’m pointing out the master bedroom is like the largest master bedroom we’ve ever had. We’ve never had a big bedroom.

And when we moved here, we had a bed and like my nightstands were like this big because our last house, the room was this big. So they’re like, pip squeak. I mean, we had nothing. So our bed was in there. I purchased a little sofa from the previous owner. So I had a little sofa at the end of the bed. I ended up buying a pair of nightstands and I had a couple lamps. I put up drapes. There were shutters on the window.

And one day I walked up to the room, I had painted it a little darker, beautiful muddy blue, one of my personal neutrals. And I walked up to the room and it just felt just right. I couldn’t believe it because there was no gallery wall. There was no like 300 beautiful pillows. There wasn’t three layers of rugs. There wasn’t like layers of throws. It was like so simple. There was no vignette on both of the.

Like I nothing it was so quiet and I felt like rich I felt like I was staying in a high end hotel. It was like the lack of chaos and excess was luxurious. And I have heard that my whole life. But to experience it. I was like, Oh, I get that now I get like the almost the privilege of not having to fill up my space with all of this.

Kathi (05:48.612)

Oh.

Kathi (06:06.135)

Yeah.

Kathi (06:10.752)

Mmm.

Myquillyn (06:11.677)

just in case stuff was extremely peaceful and serene and welcoming and I love beautiful things I still have you know stuff in my home but that is one space in my house that I probably will continue to keep really sparse and it feels great.

Kathi (06:21.421)

Yes.

Kathi (06:32.234)

Okay, well, the conviction is here. I have, our bedroom is big. It’s the biggest bedroom we’ve ever owned. And I love our bed. I’ve got a Suzani print couch that is just, it’s everything I love. And then I have the gray chair. And the gray chair collects all the things and has no business being in there. But I had room.

And my cluttery brain says, but you have room for it. But it brings me no joy. Why do I still have it? Why did I need you to come on a podcast for me to say, okay, it’s time to get rid of it?

Myquillyn (07:11.349)

Because our default is that empty space is like incorrect and needs to be filled. Empty space is waiting to be, it’s unfinished, which is not true. We need margin in our lives, in our decor, in our schedule, in so many things, but like I’ve learned to, sometimes I can’t get it through my brain. Like actually I would enjoy having less in my family room. So I do a little practice, I call it house hushing, where I just tell myself, you know what?

Kathi (07:37.944)

Yes.

Myquillyn (07:39.605)

we’re gonna give it 24 hours. I’m gonna just take all my little cute tchotchkes and smalls and my clocks and my pillows and my plants. And I’m gonna take everything extraneous out, just have the furniture, and I just put it in another room like crazy in the dining room on the table for 24 hours. And it’s like zen and relaxing and without fail every time I choose out of my own free will.

Kathi (07:44.857)

Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (08:04.981)

to not bring as much in. No one has to, I don’t have to like pick up everything and ask if I love it or if it brings me joy. I don’t have to like clear and make decision fatigue. I just experience the results first of like a quieted simple space. And then I can choose if I want to get rid of something. It’s like, to me, it’s backwards decluttering and it works.

Kathi (08:10.944)

Right?

Kathi (08:25.59)

Yes. It’s the creep. It’s the creep of life. Like, I love this little thing. I’m going to put it here. I love this little thing. I love this little thing, but I don’t love the 72 little things that end up in my kitchen in six months if I don’t do something about it. And I’m not talking about, you know, the bread tie. I’m talking about the little planter or, you know, the little thing that my friend gave me.

Myquillyn (08:41.761)

Yes.

Myquillyn (08:49.975)

Yes.

Kathi (08:53.214)

And it’s okay to enjoy things for a season and then release them. And I’ve also learned it’s okay to just have that thing that my friend gave me out in the fall. It’s not a fall decoration and I love it, but it doesn’t need to be out 365 days a year because I enjoy a quieter space. I really do. I love that. And if you live near me,

Myquillyn (08:57.762)

Yes.

Myquillyn (09:18.133)

Yep.

Kathi (09:22.23)

Check Freecycle for this really beautiful but unnecessary gray chair that needs to that needs to go Okay Again for my clutter free people you are in our brains friend rule a one sane space Talk about that

Myquillyn (09:40.693)

That came about when we were living in a fixer upper and every room was in chaos. We didn’t have a sink in the kitchen. We had like plastic sheets as walls, you know, a weird electrical thing. You could get electrocuted if you weren’t careful. And I just remember thinking, okay we got to have, we have to feel like a little bit normal. We can’t have every room be in chaos. So even with the plastic walls, I just got some paint and I painted over because it was like

Hunter green walls with the wallpaper. I pulled down the border real quick. Didn’t prep it perfectly, just thought, I gotta get something up and we’ll do it better in a few months. Threw a white paint on the wall, put a rug down, got our sectional in there, a couple pillows, a lamp, the television, the dog bed, like we can watch Andy Griffith, we can watch Survivor at night. A place for our family to feel relaxed and like.

sanity in the midst of living in a complete fixer upper. And even if you’re not in a fixer upper, if you’re, the relief of having one space that feels however you need it to feel, maybe it’s more minimal, maybe it’s more cozy at this stage in your life, while you do things in your other rooms is really powerful.

Kathi (10:57.986)

Not 20 minutes before we started these interviews, I was on a call with a nurse talking through her clutter situation. And she’s sneezing through the whole thing and is just sick and run down. And she goes, but I need to declutter, I need to declutter. And like, you cannot make any decisions right now. What I want you to do is just, where do you spend most of your time when you’re

as you’re recovering, she goes, in my living room. I said, I just need you to have a clear spot where your eye line isn’t seeing any clutter. And we can deal with this when you have more energy to make decisions and to do what you need to do, but you have to have a place to rest. And if your eyes are distracted by things, all these hanging chads, all these things that still need to be done.

You can never rest. Your brain is always flipping on, oh, it’s the hunter green paint. Oh, the dog’s bed isn’t in here because I don’t wanna get stuff on. You just have to have one place that you can open your eyes and rest. And this is, I love the name of it, One Sane Space. I’ve never thought of it. I always say you just have to have one place where you can escape, but Sane Space says,

No, I can rest and recover in this area. I love that so, so much. Okay, we’re going deeper into the rules, my friend. Number 98, make your own house rules. So explain this, and I wanna hear a few of yours, and I’ve got a couple of my own as well, because I have done this, but explain this concept.

Myquillyn (12:49.761)

Well, I give a book of 100 house rules and that’s one of them. I think that we should all come up with our own rules to live by. You know, about 10 years ago on Pinterest, it was a big thing. Everyone was making their own wooden sign with like house rules, you know, dogs on the sofa and whatever, no, whatever. It was like all fun things. I love that. Like that’s one of the reasons that I liked this name for the book because I think culturally it conjures up that memory of like the fun.

Kathi (12:53.292)

Right?

Kathi (13:04.212)

Yes.

Myquillyn (13:18.541)

house rules, the relaxed house rules. But one of my personal decorating house rules is that I like my life full of color, but I like my house full of neutrals. I am persnickety and I change my mind. In the spring, if I am furniture shopping, I will buy teal furniture and blue furniture. And in the summer, I want red and pink furniture. And in the fall, I want rusty colors and muddy. And in the winter, I want white. Like I have learned, I can tell when I buy a piece of furniture,

that’s a color based on this, because it was like the season, whatever season was, the color I’m craving. I cannot do that, because I can’t buy a new sofa every four months. So, I learned I am way too like finicky and wanting to change my colors. So I will get all of my base things neutral. And then if I want colored sheets, if I want colored pillows, if I want a colored sweater, I’ll put up books with colors and flowers with colors.

Kathi (13:51.788)

Oh, yeah.

Kathi (13:57.856)

Right.

Kathi (14:10.798)

Hmm

Myquillyn (14:15.585)

but I’m not gonna buy my main pieces in color because I wanna change my mind, I wanna change it up too much. That is not a rule for everyone. Someone else might have the opposite rule and they should. So that’s my example, what is yours?

Kathi (14:24.77)

Right.

Kathi (14:30.946)

So I’ve got a practical one and I have a fun one. So in our house, flooring needs to be functional, not fabulous. And I just needed to do it because, I mean, we live where there is a high chance that chicken poop will get in our house at one point or another. We’re just not precious about stuff. And we need stuff that is functional. And we can put the pretty stuff

at waist level or above. But yeah, the floors just have, and I would never have chosen the floors that we have downstairs, but they’re exactly the right floors. The previous owners knew what they were doing when if we needed to, we could take a hose to them. We don’t do that, but we could if we needed to. And then the other thing is, my style is things we love.

And that’s just, there is nothing in my house that I don’t love. I used to have things in my house that other people loved. Like we had, I bought a pillow one time for Christmas and in red letters it says Joy. And I was so sad to put it away after Christmas. I’m like, is Joy just reserved for December? And so now I have this Joy pillow out all year long.

And it makes me so happy all year long. And it’s like, we only have things in our house that we love. And if there’s something in our house that we don’t love, we have to question, you know, I don’t love our emergency kit. We have it in our house, but it’s not something I’m displaying. And so that’s our style is things we love. And it’s never going to fit into any genre, but I…

I wake up every day and I’m happy. So

Myquillyn (16:31.021)

That is perfect. The whole goal is for you to love your home. You have arrived. Like when we love our home, we use our home. So do not change any of that.

Kathi (16:34.71)

Yeah.

Kathi (16:39.34)

Yes.

Yeah, and I’m reluctant to leave, because the world is not suited for me in any way, shape, or form, but my house is. Okay, this one. You’re a genius, this is all I’m gonna say. Rule number 99, make a we did it list. This is genius, please expand upon what this concept is.

Myquillyn (16:50.605)

and I’ll see you next time.

Myquillyn (17:06.989)

Gosh, I think when it comes to home, we are so focused on all the stuff we have to do and all the undone decisions and all the ceiling fan that needs to be replaced and we haven’t gotten to the back porch yet and the flooring in there. If we can take a moment and take stock of all the things we have done, I do this at least every year and look back like everything in our house, we do it with our goals too, like what we did with our family, but.

Kathi (17:16.91)

Hehehehe

Myquillyn (17:34.561)

You and everything counts. If we made a chicken coop, if we replaced the faucet, if I’m like, and I dusted behind the sofa, write that down, you know, change the light fixture, whatever, it all counts. I think we would be shocked at what we accomplish in a year, in a month in our home. We need to give ourselves credit for all that we’ve done in caring for our home.

Kathi (17:59.246)

And do not discount making a chicken coop because let’s be clear the one we got was advertised as like a Michaels do-it-yourself project and it turned out to be a Home Depot expert pro project It I mean it is it is a fabulous chicken coop, but holy cow. Yes I think it’s we have such I do this with decorating I do this with God, but what have you done lately? What have you done lately like?

Myquillyn (18:12.301)

It’s true.

Kathi (18:28.074)

You know, yes, I have worked so hard on my house. I forget what it was like to move out of the upstairs of our house to put flooring down. You might as well burn the house down and start over again. It is so much work, but it’s done. And it’s done for the next hopefully 20 years. But it’s so easy to focus on, yeah, but the kitchen light fixture. Like I haven’t done the kitchen light fixture.

Myquillyn (18:43.894)

I’m dead.

Kathi (18:56.858)

And I love that you’re taking stock. And this is so true in our cluttery communities. We always talk about, we declutter and then it just gets to look like that again. But here’s the thing, once you get the stuff out of your house, you never ever have to deal with that book or piece of furniture or piece of clothing ever again for the rest of your life. You may have to deal on what you’re bringing into the house but look at what you’ve done.

And we’re so proud when our kids do something, we need to also recognize ourselves for the accomplishments we’re doing. Because let’s be honest, some of these projects are hard and they take big grownup decision making that is sometimes, and you’ve saved money to do things. And if you’ve brought in outside help, that doesn’t always go the way, and you have to negotiate with the people you live with. And so anytime you accomplish something, it is…

It is a win. And guys, if you are ready to, especially if you’ve done some decluttering, I really think one of the best things you can do for yourself, and I know I learned this term from you, after you’ve quieted your house, you can take a look around and say, is there something that I want to do? Because now that my house isn’t screaming clutter at me, it can reveal its personality. It can reveal who it is.

And guys, I’m just gonna really encourage you. Take a look at this book, House Rules, How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget. Myquillyn this is, I get so inspired when I spend time with you. Thank you so much for your time and your wisdom today.

Myquillyn (20:37.341)

Oh, Kathi, you are so dear. You could, you know all of this. You don’t even need me. Like you are beyond. So I just, so happy to know you and man, you are so wise.

Kathi (20:49.758)

Okay, even if that was true, here’s what you do. You help me be brave. You help me not get, I think so many of us who deal with clutter are such, we’re perfectionists in such hard ways. We don’t do anything until we know we can do it 100%. And you’ve given me permission to say, even if I think I can do it, I should try. I’m probably not gonna burn the house down. I probably am not going to have to repaint the whole room. And…

You know, maybe some $20 decisions are okay to take a flyer on. So I know a lot of what you teach, but you helped me be brave to enact it. And that’s what I want for everybody in my community. So thank you. Thank you, friend.

Myquillyn (21:36.749)

Oh, happy to be here. Thank you.

Kathi (21:39.69)

And friends, thank you for being here. You are the best part of us gathering each week. You’ve been listening to Clutter Free Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

#614 Breaking Free from Decorating “Rules”: Creating a Home You Love Part 1

#614 Breaking Free from Decorating “Rules”: Creating a Home You Love Part 1

614 – Breaking Free from Decorating “Rules”: Creating a Home You Love Part 1

Do you feel like some people are just born with a decorating gene?

Our guest today says no one is!

In today’s episode, we have Myquillyn Smith, also known as the Nester, joining us to discuss her new book “House Rules: How to Decorate for Every Home Style and Budget.” Kathi Lipp and Myquillyn dive into the challenges of decorating and the importance of embracing resourcefulness. They emphasize the value of breaking decorating rules and share practical advice for transforming your living space, such as:

  • Start with something you hate
  • Do your “someday project” right now! Don’t wait!
  • Resourcefulness is the ultimate resource.

Tune in to learn more about Myquillyn’s insightful perspective on home decor and how it can positively impact your life.

As promised, here’s a look at the tile in Kathi’s Monet-inspired kitchen!

Order a copy of Myquillyn Smith’s newest book House Rules here

Sign up here to be notified when 615 Myquillyn Smith House Rules Part 2 is released.

Would you like to receive Kathi’s Clutter Free Academy newsletter in your inbox? Sign up here.

The Clutter-Free Home: Making Room for Your Life

When it comes to your home, peace is possible…

Longing for a place of peace from which you can love others well? The Clutter-Free Home is your room-by-room guide to decluttering, reclaiming, and celebrating every space of your home.

Let author Kathi Lipp (who once lived a life buried in clutter) walk you through each room of your house to create organizational zones that are not only functional and practical but create places of peace that reflect your personality. Kathi will help you tackle the four-step process of dedicate, decide, declutter and “do-your-thing” to reveal the home you’ve always dreamed of, and then transform it into a haven that reflects who you truly are meant to be.

If you’re also feeling overwhelmed by the care and upkeep of all the stuff under your feet or sense that your home is running you, instead of the other way around, come discover how to create a space that doesn’t have to be showroom perfect to be perfect for you and the people you love.

Order your copy here!

Favorite Links:

Myquillyn Smith’s website The Nester.com

Myquillyn Smith on Instagram @thenester

Order Myquillyn’s newest book HOUSE RULES: How to Decorate for Every Home, Style, and Budget here

Take Myquillyn’s decorating quiz here

Are there any specific examples from the episode where Myquillyn Smith’s advice on decorating has challenged your preconceived notions about home design?

Share your answer in the comments.

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe to our newsletter now.

Meet Our Guest 

 

Myquillyn Smith

MYQUILLYN SMITH, also known as “The Nester,” is the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Welcome Home and Cozy Minimalist Home. For the past 17 years, she’s been encouraging women to embrace their space—imperfections and all—and make it their own. Her previous homes have been featured in Better Homes & Gardens, Ladies’ Home Journal, and Cottages & Bungalows. She recently purchased and redecorated a1905 Queen Anne Victorian home in Morganton, North Carolina, the inspiration for her new book House Rules. She’s never met a home she didn’t love.

Find her online at TheNester.com and on Instagram @TheNester.

Transcript

Kathi (00:01.03)
Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy, where our goal is to help you take small doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life.

And guys, I am the, I’m just so jazzed. I’m so jazzed because she is the author of many of my favorite books. She has changed my relationship with drywall. And I just, I need you, if you have not met her through this podcast, I need you to just be as excited as I am. You guys, it’s Myquillyn Smith . She is known as the Nestor.

We’re gonna be talking about a million things But one of the things we’re gonna be talking about today is her brand new book house rules How to decorate for every home style and budget and guys she actually means it Myquillyn Smith and welcome back to the podcast

Myquillyn (01:10.567)
I am so glad to be here. What is this about your relationship with drywall?

Kathi (01:15.098)
Okay, okay, so I never hung anything in my houses because I was scared of making nail holes.

Myquillyn (01:22.786)
Oh, in your precious drywall, okay. Yes.

Kathi (01:24.798)
in my precious drywall, because if I made a hole in that drywall, it would be there till Jesus came back. Like it didn’t occur to me that I could patch it and repaint it, because this is what the patriarchy has done to me. I thought that could only be done by a licensed man. Right, right. You have to start all over again.

Myquillyn (01:42.128)
Yes.

Myquillyn (01:48.166)
Burn the house down, rebuild it.

Kathi (01:53.242)
And to understand that not only could I patch that wall, but I could paint it, and that it would not stand out to every single human being who came into my house and they would point and mock me for doing such a terrible job. You’ve just taught me a new way to live with my house. That’s what I’m gonna say.

Myquillyn (02:19.746)
I think you should just do this whole podcast without me. You already know. Well, that, that is something. I’m impressed.

Kathi (02:22.69)
Yeah, no, that’s not going to happen. You’re stuck with me.

Kathi (02:29.486)
I, well, okay, because Kim, first of all, I wanna dig into your notebook, but let’s just talk about kind of your relationship with homes for a moment here, because how many places have you lived as an adult?

Myquillyn (02:43.93)
This, I am now, right, I am in house number 15 as a married woman who the house is my house and my job. My husband and I have been married 29 years and yeah, we’ve moved a lot.

Kathi (02:56.834)
That’s a house every other year. On average.

Myquillyn (02:59.39)
Yes, and you know, one house we lived in for 10 years, so I don’t know how the math works out, but I believe every house has potential, every house has a silver lining, and I see the world through home-colored glasses.

Kathi (03:05.094)
Wow.

Kathi (03:14.314)
Well, and also what I love about you is you see the world through. It’s not a flaw. It’s a challenge. It’s a problem to be solved. And it’s not even a problem to be solved. It’s, it’s something that you’re going to discover something amazing about yourself, but I am going to call you a liar right from the start. I knew you’d be okay with this. And by the way, you guys, she knows what she’s talking about. New York times bestseller. Like.

Myquillyn (03:36.699)
Go for it.

Kathi (03:44.166)
I her books are amazing. But she said that, that nobody is born with a decorating gene. And I, I’m just gonna call liar, pants on fire, because I just feel like everybody was born with more of a decorating thumb than I was, you know, how some people can naturally take care of plants. Like, I was not that person either. But I think they’re

Some of you have the gift and some of us do not.

Myquillyn (04:17.158)
I’ve never heard it called the decorating thumb. I will never forget that. It is exquisite. Listen, I know what you’re saying. There are some people that seem predisposed to making great decorating decisions. Let me tell you, they started with the Barbies, just like I did. We all have something that we’re drawn to, that we’re willing to figure out why this works. Why do we like it? And we probably started when we were kids. Maybe you were into math, maybe you were into cars, maybe you were into sports.

Kathi (04:27.815)
Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (04:45.858)
and you started figuring stuff out at a young age. And so it just seemed to everyone else that you were natural, had the thumb, but I think it’s just you made mistakes young and you eased into it. I know that’s what I did. I still make mistakes in decorating all the time. I don’t even think of it that way. I’m just like, oops, that didn’t work. Learn something about myself. Learn something about my house.

Kathi (04:54.316)
Yeah.

Kathi (05:09.006)
Okay, so what is, so is it, and I think I know your answer, but let’s do it for the at-home audience. Because I know what I like when I’m on Pinterest or when I’m thumbing through one of your books, or I see somebody do the thing, but to translate it to my own home feels risky and scary and well,

Like, what is the leap there? That’s my question.

Myquillyn (05:42.134)
It’s really difficult because a lot of what we see is people making, creating beautiful rooms from scratch, from nothing, and none of us are like that. We’re all starting with some stuff that we got handed down, some stuff we can’t quite replace yet because we don’t have the budget or we’re waiting for the kids to get out of the house. A few things that we need to purchase new and we know that. Some things that we don’t love but our husband loves it. And so we have baggage.

Kathi (05:51.601)
Uh, right.

Myquillyn (06:11.53)
A room full of baggage. And that is what we don’t really see on TV is like a show about, well, they have to actually keep their sofa. So now what? But that’s what real decorating is all about. That’s where our confident decision making happens is not, you know, I don’t think it takes much skill. It does take skill to like go in an empty room. That sounds actually very intimidating. It’s a different kind of intimidating because the sky is the limit. In some ways it’s nice.

Kathi (06:13.003)
Right.

Kathi (06:20.471)
Right.

Kathi (06:32.482)
Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (06:39.45)
to have some limitations to say, here’s the sofa, we’re gonna work with it. Or here’s a bay window and it’s gonna stay. Or here is the brick fireplace and we’re renting and we can’t paint it. How can we make this room look the best with what we have? I’m your girl for that. There are universal decorating truths that help you no matter what your style, no matter what your budget, that will just help you make more confident decisions. Understanding, one rule is like respect your boss. Not all rooms have a boss.

Kathi (06:54.957)
Yes.

Myquillyn (07:09.274)
But when you do, it’s maybe you’re in a kitchen and you have dark wood cabinets. Maybe you’re like I was in my last house. We had these orange pine, they were beautiful, but they were like these 25 year old leathery patina, really dark orange bossy floors. So you have a choice when you have a boss. You can work with your boss or you can change your boss, but what you can’t do is ignore your boss.

Kathi (07:16.951)
Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (07:38.742)
and we all have hospitals to work with. And so that meant I could change my floors or I could keep my floors, but I didn’t get to ignore my floors and pretend like they were light oak, like everyone is using now, because my stuff would look bad with it if I did that.

Kathi (07:39.528)
Mmm.

Kathi (07:51.795)
Wait.

Kathi (07:55.13)
Yeah, it’s okay. So I love that you feel like, and I guess I just always figured everybody else is starting from scratch. And it’s just not true. Because I’m like, but they don’t have the x, y, z that I have, they don’t have this constraint, or they don’t have the budget limitations that I do. And, or you know what, I want maybe I’ve got the budget, but I don’t want to spend all my money on

You know, I want to live. I want to eat. I want to go on vacation someday. And so I want to make different choices. And by the way, you guys, also, Michael is the boss of putting contact paper on her fireplace. And so if you have not seen that it. Yeah. A revolution. OK. I want it. It really is like who does that, right? Who does that? You do that. And so.

But it’s made such a, it’s, I think it gave a lot of us a freedom that we didn’t have to do things right. And it’s really interesting to try to push back on some of that stuff. I did something recently, it was really funny. My mom said, you can’t do that. And I put up a towel rack in our living room and she’s like, why would you, that looks, that’s gonna look stupid, you can’t do that.

And I said, but it’s to hang quilts that you made. She goes, oh, that might look good. And so she’s like on board with that. But you know what? It’s one of my favorite things in the house. And it’s just, it’s a little bit weird. It’s a little bit different, but we don’t have to do everything so it’s gonna last a hundred years. It can be right now.

Myquillyn (09:37.838)
Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, that’s what home is for. Shouldn’t it suit how your family needs to use your home and celebrating the favorite things in your life? I think that makes perfect sense. I love that idea.

Kathi (09:52.522)
Yeah, I had to get over the concept of, I’m gonna do that in my someday home, my someday home, my someday home. And yeah, like the biggest, boldest thing I’ve ever done, we had, I saw Monet’s kitchen. I don’t know if you, it’s a blue and white tiled kitchen. It’s absolute, it looks like a jewel. And I did it. I did like custom tiles and yeah, go look up Monet’s kitchen.

Myquillyn (10:17.714)
What? Is this on your Instagram? I’m like looking at going to look for your Instagram right now. Is it on?

Kathi (10:22.338)
Oh, I don’t even know if it’s on there. I don’t even know if it’s on. Okay, I’ll send you a picture. I’ll put it on the show notes for this as well. But I wanna, yes, but you gave me the bravery to go do something and not wait until it’s the last house I ever have, because this, you know, this is a 10 year house. This isn’t a hundred year house for us. And you gave me the bravery to do that. Okay, I wanna talk about some of your rules, which is funny because I think of you as the least rule person.

Myquillyn (10:50.894)
Same, I hate it. Yeah, what in the world? And then it’s terrifying to write a book with the word rules in it, because all the people like us are like, not for me. But the first rule is learn the rules and break them beautifully. So we all, we love to be a rule breaker, but I want us to break the rules because we know our room’s gonna look better. Not because we don’t know better and we’re stupid.

Kathi (10:50.954)
when it comes to decorating.

Kathi (11:05.516)
Yes.

Kathi (11:13.186)
I love that so much. Okay. I’m just picking out some of my favorites and the ones that I think my clutter My cluttery comrades are going to really identify with okay rule number seven. You can’t ruin something that you already Okay, why do we make sacred cows out of ugly things?

Myquillyn (11:28.833)
Amen.

Myquillyn (11:33.698)
out of the thing we hate the most and we like can’t even sell it a yard sale. Yes, yeah those are the things to put in. You say I hate my house and I don’t know where to begin. Okay, I want you to find something in your house that you hate that you can’t ruin. For some people that might be a nightstand in their garage. It might be like me a canvas that my son had in his room that I was getting ready to take to the

Kathi (11:37.679)
Right? What is that about? So how do you live this out?

Kathi (12:01.291)
Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (12:02.858)
it might be the brick on your fireplace that you hate. And you can decide that, you know what? I already dislike it. What is the worst that can happen? I hate it again. So that gives us the freedom to take a risk. And we should, you know, I want us to grow in our risk taking. Don’t start by ordering a custom sofa or like Parisian rugs or something. No, no, no. Start with like something you can just go take to the dump.

Kathi (12:11.864)
Mm-hmm.

Myquillyn (12:30.794)
if it doesn’t turn out or that you can just paint over. So starting with something you hate is a great place to start.

Kathi (12:37.482)
Well, and I remember from your first book, you painted brick. And I mean, you hated the brick, you painted it, you loved the brick, but other people were telling you, you can’t do that.

Myquillyn (12:47.461)
Yes.

Listen, one of the painters wouldn’t even give me a quote. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to an old money neighborhood, but all the houses are painting brick. I did not invent painting brick, but suddenly I was like, she’s Satan, because I wanted to paint my brick. And of course it looked amazing.

Kathi (12:57.294)
Bye.

Kathi (13:07.706)
Yes, absolutely. Okay, rule number five. Resourcefulness is the ultimate resource. Okay, so I just have to tell you in my clutter-free academy we talk about our resources all the time. Space, time, energy, and money. But we have this outlier and it’s creativity and resourcefulness that can supercharge your other four resources and but

Myquillyn (13:33.478)
That’s good.

Kathi (13:35.478)
you know, because we all have a limitation. You know, when I was younger, I had more time, but no money. And now I have less time. Well, you know what? I would say it’s less energy right now, because yeah, let’s just be honest. But also I’ve got more money, so we can balance this out. But that creativity and that resourcefulness can supercharge any of our limitations. So.

What do you mean by resourcefulness is our best resource?

Myquillyn (14:09.326)
I totally agree with everything you just said. I think that many of us are doing what you mentioned earlier. We’re waiting for our next house. We are waiting for perfect circumstances. And to me, the most resourceful thing you can do is to say, you know what, I’m done waiting and I’m going to move forward in spite of my imperfect circumstances. And I’m gonna be resourceful. I’m gonna look at what I have and

Maybe all you have is you own your house and you have freedom and can make all the decisions in the world and then like you said pair that with some creativity. You know there’s all I teach like 11 different resources I teach in my community. I can’t think of them off the top it’s the five o’clock but you said them than I ever could you know them better than I know any of them. We just

I think we underestimate it because it feels like, well, unless I have whatever it is that we don’t have the most, we feel like that’s the one most.

Kathi (15:10.95)
Right. Or you look at somebody who, you know, they’ve got all, they’ve done a hundred houses, they’re on the HDTV, and they have a way of doing things, and you can’t do it, or you don’t wanna do it that same way. And so we just say, okay, that’s not for me. But if we could get creative, we can do research. Research is a resource.

You know, community is a resource. There are so many places that we can get inspiration and ideas and just make it, I think also bravery is a resource that we, to try something and be willing to fail at it. I think that, you know, in my first marriage, I lived with a perfectionist who couldn’t tolerate any chaos. And

It really limited what I felt like I could do or I could get away with. And when you take those constraints off and you say, what’s the worst that can happen? It’s a really freeing statement to let you be able to do more of what you want to do.

Myquillyn (16:17.562)
That’s so beautiful. I love that.

Kathi (16:20.586)
Well, I’m learning it all from the master, really. I mean, I have to tell you how many times I have read your first book and I lent it to somebody who was not a reliable person and I bought your book again. So, because it just has made such a difference in my life. And guys, she’s gonna continue to make a difference. We’re gonna have her back next week. But guys, this is the week that House Rules comes out, how to decorate for every home, style and budget. I’m gonna have links.

in the show notes. We’re also gonna be talking about it in the Clutter Free community. So if you’re not already a part of that, you’re definitely going to want to be. And, Michael and I’m so glad you’re gonna be back with us for the next episode. You know, if people wanna find out more about your community, how do they do that?

Myquillyn (17:12.166)
Just go to themester.com. You can take my quiz and figure out what decorating era you’re in. You can follow me on Instagram. The books are in your library. They’re at your library books. I’m around. I’m all over the place talking about home.

Kathi (17:26.798)
Can I just say, I love that you said they’re at the library. Yes, you know what? Go and check it out. And if you’re as jazzed about her as I am, then you can go buy it because, you know, there are also late fees if you don’t return things to some libraries. And it may just… Yes, I, guys, request it because those librarians, they are our best friends and they listen.

Myquillyn (17:44.526)
at your library, I would love that.

Kathi (17:55.046)
Okay friends, you’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy, I’m Cathy Lip. Now, go create the clutter free life you’ve always wanted to live.

#610 Why “I Work Better Under Pressure” Doesn’t Really Work

#610 Why “I Work Better Under Pressure” Doesn’t Really Work

610 – Why “I Work Better Under Pressure” Doesn’t Really Work

Have you ever said, “I work better under pressure.”

Is that true or is that procrastination as a trauma response?

In this continuation of last week’s episode, Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory dig into the process of procrastination and how it is hurting all of us. In addition to defining the procrastination responses of Freeze and Fawn, they discuss the difference between working under pressure and pre-deciding. Kathi and Cheri describe how they use the concept of pre-deciding to live a life that reflects their values instead of living a life of fear. That’s what they want for you too! Listen for the steps of pre-deciding as well as other ways to break the procrastination cycle, such as:

  • How to permit yourself to not finish a decluttering project
  • How to move the goalpost when it comes to decluttering
  • How to be a good steward of your most precious resource

Sign up here to be notified when the next episode is released.

Would you like to receive Kathi’s Clutter Free Academy newsletter in your inbox? Sign up here and receive the free download mentioned in this episode, The Four P Bullies at a Glance!

You Don’t Have to Try So Hard: Ditch Expectations and Live Your Own Best Life

With honesty and humor, Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory help you take a breather and find reassurance as you face the bullies of perfectionism, performancism, people-pleasing, and procrastination.

Self-assessments and personal stories guide you from panic to peace as you learn to:

  • Pick battles worthy of your time and energy
  • Embrace the freedom of a carefully considered “no”
  • Recognize your strengths and weaknesses in the quest for balance
  • Use authenticity as a weapon to battle bullies
  • Release yourself from the endless pressure of pleasing others

Ditch your feelings of inadequacy and finally came face-to-face with the bold, balanced woman God created you to be.

Order your copy here!

What’s your best tip for avoiding procrastination?

Share your answer in the comments.

Let’s stay connected

To share your thoughts:

  • Leave a note in the comment section below.
  • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.

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Meet Our Guest 

 

Cheri Gregory

Through Scripture and storytelling, Cheri Gregory delights in helping women draw closer to Jesus, the strength of every tender heart. She is the founder of the Sensitive and Strong Community Cafe: the place for the HSP Christian woman to find connection. With Kathi Lipp, she’s the co-author of You Don’t Have to Try So Hard, Overwhelmed, and An Abundant Place. Cheri speaks locally and internationally for women’s events and educational conferences.

You can connect with Cheri at CheriGregory.comSensitiveAndStrong.com, on Cheri’s Facebook Page, and on Instagram.

Transcript

Well, hey friends, welcome to Clutter-Free Academy where our goal is to help you take small, doable steps to live every day with less clutter and more life. And if you’re somebody who’s often said, I work better under pressure, my friend Cheri Gregory and I are here to blow up your world.

I’ve heard this a lot from people in clutter free. And here’s what I know, procrastination is hurting all of us and there are ways to deal with it. C

heri, welcome back to the program.

Cheri Gregory (01:01.482)
Hey Kathi thanks for having me back.

Kathi (01:03.646)
Okay, in between these recordings, you said, I could talk about frenzy as a trauma response. And I’m like, whoa, hold on. Wait, that’s a big statement. So do you consider procrastination a trauma response?

Cheri Gregory (01:15.351)
Hehehe

Cheri Gregory (01:25.202)
I think it often can be a trauma response because we’ve already been saying that it’s built on fear. Whether you want to call something a trauma response, a fear response, I mean, back in sixth grade we learned that fight and flight were the two major fear responses. So you can call it a trauma response, an anxiety response, whatever you stress response, whatever you want. But what’s interesting is in the last few years we’ve been hearing more about freeze and fawn.

Kathi (01:41.887)
Right.

Kathi (01:48.519)
Mm-hmm.

Cheri Gregory (01:53.366)
freeze makes sense, you know, it’s just coming stock still. And then fawn, we recognize to be more the people pleasing response. And a lot of us women have been conditioned into that. But the two that are far less talked about are flock and frenzy. And I really identify with this whole idea of frenzy. Frenzy, as you can guess, it’s the kind of busy, go, go. And I, my natural personality loves being productive.

Kathi (02:20.982)
I know you love seeing yourself in videos.

Cheri Gregory (02:23.342)
and when I procrastinate and then suddenly have to do things under pressure, then I can end up getting that kind of, and you already said, let your cortisol levels go up, the adrenaline goes up, and for a short period of time that can actually feel kind of good. Now afterwards, we crash and we burn and it feels terrible.

Kathi (02:46.422)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Cheri Gregory (02:47.874)
But one of the things that actually God has been convicting me over the last couple of years is that one of the reasons I have been so rest resistant is because I am so accustomed to living in a frenzy state. And so rather than spacing things out, rather than having a schedule that I can actually handle.

I have a tendency to do that all or nothing where I crash and burn and I cancel everything and then of course I recover from whatever it was and I get bored and I start taking things on again, volunteering, accepting things with a short deadline and then I have to go and push myself again, busy, go, go. Whether or not those actions are in alignment with my values, whether or not those are, and I know we’re going to talk about pre-deciding.

Kathi (03:38.789)
Mm-hmm.

Cheri Gregory (03:39.478)
I’ve been really working on catching myself because in our society, in our American society, productivity is like the gold standard. As long as you produced, you’re fine, right? And for those of us in the church, I mean, churches love a woman who will show up and get things done. Like they keep the church going. And so we’ve gotten a lot of kudos for being the kind of woman who can get things done under pressure.

Kathi (03:48.73)
Yeah. Right.

Cheri Gregory (04:09.234)
It doesn’t necessarily mean that we are living in alignment when our values, when we live that way. And then for me to realize, hang on a second, this is actually living in a constant fear response or trauma response. It doesn’t, it’s not good for me. The chemicals running through my body are hurting me. I don’t want to live this way anymore. So that’s, that’s where that comment came from.

Kathi (04:29.62)
Yes.

Kathi (04:33.562)
So much came up with that. First of all, women in the church, we were appreciated without being acknowledged, and we were assumed that we would just do all the unpaid labor. And it’s not just in the church, it’s in any space where women’s labor can be taken advantage of. In the schools of, yes.

Cheri Gregory (04:41.384)
Exactly.

Cheri Gregory (04:47.178)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Cheri Gregory (04:58.698)
Yeah. And we get called lifesavers. We get called lifesavers. Oh, you’re such a lifesaver and we’re killing ourselves.

Kathi (05:05.474)
Yes. And so we’re, we’re set, we’re setting ourselves on fire to keep other people warm. And, yeah, no more, no more. So it feels like freeze and frenzy are both procrastination responses. One is where I’m scrubbing the tile to not write the devotional. And the, and the other is I’m watching friends episodes to not write.

Cheri Gregory (05:11.656)
Exactly.

Mm-hmm.

Kathi (05:34.686)
the not right the devotional. Why do you think that those two are? How do they demonstrate themselves in different ways? I’m just I’m thinking I’ve been known to do both. Is it a guilt response? Like at least I’m doing something. You can’t be mad at me because at least I’m scrubbing the tile. Or is are we justifying to ourselves? What do you think that is, Cheri?

Cheri Gregory (05:58.135)
Hehehe

Cheri Gregory (06:02.89)
That does make a lot of sense. I’m like we’re substituting one activity. So at least I’m doing something I’m not you know sitting around doing nothing I also think that at least in from the way I experience procrastination Is there’s a period of time where it’s kind of that freeze where I’m like zoned out I’m not producing anything of any value and then the panic kicks in and once the panic kicks in Then is when I’m going to turn I’m going to pivot

Kathi (06:05.354)
Mm-hmm.

Kathi (06:09.114)
Bye.

Cheri Gregory (06:28.778)
and dive into the actual thing and work on it like a maniac and either pull it off or crash and burn in the midst of trying.

Kathi (06:36.89)
Yeah, and I just want to reiterate to our listeners, you know, we’re saying this with a smile because we both recognize it in ourselves, but trauma response requires trauma. Something has happened that has, and you shouldn’t be like, okay, we’ll just push past that. We just want you to be able, the first part of recovering from trauma is recognizing what is going on. And so if,

Cheri Gregory (06:49.676)
Hmm.

Kathi (07:07.078)
If you know, I just read an article, Julia Louis Dreyfus, who was part of Seinfeld VP, said that she has been dealing with a trauma response for 40 years after her dad criticized her performance on Saturday Night Live. I mean, right? Right? And so some of these things are very, very deep. And maybe you’re not cleaning your room because it didn’t matter how hard you cleaned it.

Cheri Gregory (07:26.591)
Yeah.

Kathi (07:35.93)
when you were little, it was never good enough, or you cleaned your room and your sister was allowed to just come in and mess it up. I don’t know what the response is, but I mean, I don’t know what the reason is, but the response is real. So, yeah.

Cheri Gregory (07:46.35)
Hmm. Yeah. Well, and let’s go back. So now you’re giving me the answer to the scrubbing, the scrubbing. I know why we scrub. We scrub because it’s something we can control.

Kathi (07:55.154)
Yeah.

Kathi (07:59.167)
Uh, yeah. It’s so true, right?

Cheri Gregory (08:00.642)
Trauma responses are all about control. And so when we’re scrubbing the grout, we can whiten that grout, but we don’t know for sure if we can actually declutter our house. We don’t know if we sit down at a blank page, are the words gonna come, or will our brain have ceased functioning? But we can scrub that grout and we can feel like we at least, we could check that off our list.

Kathi (08:14.606)
Mm.

Cheri Gregory (08:24.21)
And these kinds of responses, they feel very familiar because they’re things that we’ve been doing for a long time. And so when we start to disrupt, when we start to interrupt and try to do something different, it’s gonna feel unfamiliar. And that’s one of the other things that I’ve really been having to learn and sit with is as I have, just again, to use the example, let’s imagine somebody in Clutterfree Academy who’s like, no, I can’t do just 15 minutes. It doesn’t feel right. It makes me miserable.

Kathi (08:30.95)
Yeah.

Cheri Gregory (08:54.214)
No, Kathi, you don’t understand. I can’t stop after 15 minutes. I have to do everything or I can do only do nothing. Please know you have my sympathy. And also the fact that it’s uncomfortable may simply be that it’s unfamiliar and it could take some time to get used to until you have permission.

Kathi (08:54.335)
Mm-hmm.

Kathi (09:03.983)
Yeah.

Cheri Gregory (09:16.878)
to only do 15 minutes rather than you get into that room and don’t come out until you’ve cleaned it completely, young lady, to my standards. So changing, yes, changing these habits takes some time. And the other thing for me is realizing that not having the crash and burn afterwards, like, oh.

Kathi (09:25.838)
Right. The punishing aspect.

Kathi (09:38.51)
Yes, it’s so true. It’s so true. You know, when you talk about, I can’t do 15 minutes because it doesn’t, it’s not gonna be everything. I think that’s when you have to move the goalpost from decluttering the kitchen to decluttering the junk drawer or the utensil drawer. Because yes, I also don’t wanna stop in the middle of something. But there also is some beauty in stopping in the middle because it gives you a depth.

Cheri Gregory (09:52.138)
Hmm.

Cheri Gregory (09:56.746)
Yes.

Kathi (10:08.062)
define place to start next time. And that is a gift for me. Okay, we’re gonna take a quick break. We’re gonna come back and we’re gonna talk about working under pressure versus pre-deciding. And also discovering is Cheri, a big old hypocrite because she took on a very pressure-filled project this week, but I wanna talk about why you decided to do that and how you decided to do that. So we’re gonna take a quick break and come right back.

Cheri Gregory (10:10.306)
Very true.

Cheri Gregory (10:25.826)
Hehehe

Kathi (10:38.79)
Okay, we’re back with Cheri Gregory, and we are talking about why working better under pressure just doesn’t work. And, you know, for the people who feel familiar that like, I can’t do it unless I’m on a tight deadline, or I can’t do it unless the stakes are high, where would the, what is pre-deciding and how would that help in these circumstances?

Cheri Gregory (10:46.807)
Mm-mm.

Cheri Gregory (11:06.326)
You know, pre-deciding is the difference between living out of fear and living out of love. Because this was one of the core scriptures that we used in You Don’t Have to Try So Hard, is this whole idea that when we’re living out of fear, then we are going to, you know, I’ll speak for myself again, as I’ve been re-evaluating certain things in my life.

Kathi (11:13.197)
Ooh, okay.

Cheri Gregory (11:34.694)
when I’m living out of fear and I then look back, I’m like, oh, I violated half a dozen of my values during that time. And the thinking in my head is, well, but as long as, as long as, you know, as long as the house looks okay, it doesn’t matter that I snapped at my husband or I snapped at the chickens or whatever it is. But what if one of my core values is to treat people kindly, then I have violated a core value in service of a fear-based
temporary short-term goal that doesn’t actually have lasting value. Whereas, pre-deciding says, I’ve already made these decisions based around my values. I know who I am. I know what I stand for. I know what my values are. And so I am going to make decisions that reflect those values. And when I find myself out of alignment with my values, I’m going to pause and reevaluate.

and it is an entirely different way to live. It doesn’t have the same amount of adrenaline. And so if we have become adrenaline junkies and we’re used to only being motivated if we have those chemicals that indicate fear, that indicate that we’re going to be in huge trouble if we don’t get it done by a certain time. And again, it’s a matter then of kind of changing our habits so

Kathi (12:39.575)
Right?

Cheri Gregory (13:01.934)
quiet sense of satisfaction that you know you get to minute 16 of the decluttering and you’re like I’m going to stop now and I’m going to enjoy that quiet sense of satisfaction that I did what I said I was going to do. I said I was going to declutter for 15 minutes. I did what I said I’m going to do. I’m a person of integrity whether I did all or nothing is irrelevant whether my mother would approve my father. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even matter if Kathy Lipp would approve although Kathy Lipp would absolutely approve.

Kathi (13:09.503)
Doesn’t matter. Right. Absolutely.

Cheri Gregory (13:30.738)
if somebody stopped after 15 minutes, but it is slowly developing new habits that are not based on external standards but are based on the values that we know that God has placed within us because of how he created us and our personalities and gaining internal satisfaction because I said I was going to do this, I did it, and now I can stop. Now I can rest. Now I can.

continue to take other forms of good care of myself and stewarding my body, my home, whatever else.

Kathi (14:05.842)
You know, I talk about the four resources all the time, space, time, energy, and money. And what you’re talking about there is being a good steward of your most precious resource. Maybe it’s money. And you’re saying, you know, I need to declutter because I need to know what I have. And so I am going to declutter so I know what I have, so I’m not buying.

Cheri Gregory (14:20.748)
Mm-hmm.

Kathi (14:32.574)
chicken when I already have chicken or something like that. But also, I’m not buying things under pressure all the time because just in case living. But maybe energy is your most precious resource. And you say, you know, I can’t afford to say I’m going to declutter my garage today because that’s just not what you’re able to do. Or maybe you’re working full time plus you’re caring for kids or parents.

Cheri Gregory (14:39.959)
Yes.

Kathi (15:01.606)
And you’re like, time is my most precious resource. And the 15 minutes protects your most precious resources. And that’s what I wanna be able to do. Okay, now, Cheri, you confessed to me as we were coming on here that you’re under some pressure this week. So talk about what’s going on, how you made the decision. But when I was talking to you, I don’t even know what the decision was, but you seem…

Cheri Gregory (15:08.339)
I love that. So true.

Kathi (15:31.494)
like you’re good with this particular decision to put yourself under a little pressure. So let’s talk about that.

Cheri Gregory (15:37.918)
Yeah, I got an email this last weekend from my graduate program and it was an opportunity to write a book review that will be published in the Journal of Applied Christian Leadership and the deadline is Friday. And in order for me to complete my program, I have to have an article published in a peer review journal. And so I’ve been wondering how to get this done.

Kathi (15:50.29)
Oh wow. Okay.

Cheri Gregory (16:02.35)
And right now my research is moving forward. My other things are moving forward. But in the back of my mind, I’ve been like, dang it, I’m going to get to the end of this. And then a year or three are going to go by before I figure out how to get this article done. And so what dropped into my lap basically over the weekend was an opportunity to just get it done, to check it off my list. And so I did. I jumped at it and I was like, you know what? I looked at my calendar first and I was like, I can rearrange some things.

Cheri Gregory (16:31.55)
I can move some things that are optional. And here’s the thing, in the previous episode, I think I confessed to you that in college, I once wrote a book review over a book that I never even read and I got an A plus on it. Like, I’m not real proud of that. I don’t wanna repeat it. And here’s the thing, it’s a book I’ve already read that I’m reviewing. Like, so I’m not gonna try to pull that stunt again. I read it last year, listened to the audio book, I’ve done some teachings out of it. But I will say it’s a skillset I feel good about.

Kathi (16:50.582)
Oh nice. Right.

Kathi (17:01.272)
Yeah

Cheri Gregory (17:01.51)
It is not something that’s going to kill me. In fact, if anything, four days, get it done, have it over with, not hanging over my head. It’s kind of exciting, but not in the frenzy sense. It’s like there’s this sense of anticipation. There’s a sense of, yeah, well, let’s bring it on. Bring it on. And go ahead.

Kathi (17:12.661)
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.

Kathi (17:21.262)
Right. But let’s also talk about that you’ve set yourself up so you’re not living in that frenzy state all the time so that there was there was cushion to do this. That’s really exciting, Cheri.

Cheri Gregory (17:38.686)
Yeah, yeah, I literally just swap some things out on my calendar and so I had the time to do it and my evenings are still free and my you know, I’m not I’m not going to kill myself to do it. I’m absolutely not. So yes, I’m sort of a hypocrite, but not really.

Kathi (17:56.358)
No, you are, I declare you not a hypocrite because you have made good choices along the way. And here’s the thing, when we first start to live by pre-deciding, by saying, I’m not gonna take on things just because there’s an open spot on my calendar. I’m not going to wait and say, okay, for two days straight, I can do nothing but dot dot. What you’ve done is you said, I can say a good yes.

Cheri Gregory (18:20.145)
Mm-hmm.

Kathi (18:25.914)
and turn down a bad yes, because there are lots of bad yeses out there. But you can give a good yes to something that not only serves somebody else, but also serves you. And it’s a win-win, right? You’re not resenting them from it. You’re not being angry that they asked at the last minute, this was an opportunity for you. So no hypocrisy whatsoever. It’s…

Cheri Gregory (18:37.87)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely.

Kathi (18:53.89)
And you know, I’m still building some of this into my life because It’s it’s a new habit for me And I say that because I’ve lived 56 years So I’ve only been practicing this maybe in any real way in the past 10 years So there’s a lot of ingrained in me that still wants to put things off and still wants to do but I

Cheri Gregory (19:05.976)
Hmm.

Kathi (19:19.226)
You know, this past encourage article was the first time I think I’ve ever turned it in a week in advance I’ve turned it in a day in advance Or a couple days in advance, but I just saw You know, there was going to be some things happening that week and I didn’t I wanted to be present for somebody I loved I didn’t want to have to be typing, you know and editing In the midst of all of that. So yay to us for making some good. Yeses happen by

Cheri Gregory (19:25.173)
I love it.
Kathi (19:47.422)
turning away some bad yeses that would have made somebody else comfortable for a minute but would have built resentment at least in me. I can resent people for things they didn’t force me to do. I can and friends this is why you know when we know that we’re going to be hosting people or things like that when you tell me that you’re starting to declutter a couple of

Cheri Gregory (19:49.48)
Absolutely.

Cheri Gregory (20:01.927)
Hehehehe

Kathi (20:16.342)
I’m like, that is somebody who is going to be present and available for their friends who are coming to visit. That it’s not going to be about impressing them, but the impression that they’re going to be left with is that I was cared for and loved. And that’s what I want for each of my clutter-free people. Cheri this was such a valuable little series, our micro series. Thank you so much for hanging out with me and all your wisdom and your hard work, one knowledge.

Cheri Gregory (20:44.906)
Well, thanks for having me, Kathy. It’s been fun.

Kathi (20:47.994)
And friends, we talked in the last episode about our download about the four bullies. If you’re part of our newsletter community, you’ll be able to receive that in our newsletter. We’re gonna make sure the download link is there for last week and this week. So you’re definitely going to wanna take advantage of that to really understand how you can start to be kinder and gentler to yourself. Friends, you’ve been listening to Clutterfree Academy. I’m Kathi Lipp. Go create the clutter-free life you were always designed to live.