When a Failure Feels too Big to Fix

When a Failure Feels too Big to Fix

I had failed.

Big time.

My failure felt huge, as if someone had come into our backyard with a backhoe and dug a hole as large as our house. And now I was sitting by the hole—broken, beaten down, discouraged—trying to fill this huge hole back up with one teaspoon of dirt at a time.

For me, this feeling of having failed big time—so big that I couldn’t imagine any hope of repair—happened in my coaching business.

Have you felt failure?

Maybe you’ve felt this way, too.

  • Maybe you felt defeated in a relationship with someone you loved. Now you are no longer speaking.
  • Maybe you’re blaming yourself for your child’s poor choices.
  • Maybe you tried something new at work only to have it backfire.

The exact details of my failure aren’t important. Let’s just say they involve regretting a large financial investment, hurting from many misunderstandings, and feeling totally discarded. As if all of a sudden, my work and I didn’t matter any more.

A failure too big?

As I processed the pain and loss, I began to change my thoughts about this event, which originally felt like a failure “too big to fix.”

Changing my perspective on “success” and “failure” actually helped me to gain more momentum than if the “failure” had never happened.

For years, I wrongly believed success in business meant I would reach a point when I no longer “failed”.

Do you feel this way about parenting, work or relationships? Are you just waiting for the day when you make your last mistake?

Here are a few new ways I’ve learned to look at failure from studying high achievers.

  • They accept making mistakes is a natural part of succeeding.
  • They learn from their mistakes.
  • They do not allow the fear of failure to hold them back.

God never stopped working in my failure

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably way too hard on yourself when you make a mistake.

Maybe you feel like you’re sitting by a huge hole. A failure of your own that feels too big to fix! Trying to fill it back up with a teaspoon.

God honors the smallest thing we do. It’s as if He comes in behind us and throws in shovelfuls of dirt when we aren’t even looking. Over time, the hole fills back up.

One Small Win: Today, let go of putting so much pressure on yourself by expecting a “failure-free” life. Instead, accept when you make mistakes or even fail, God still works.

Success isn’t all “up to you.”

Watch and be astounded at what I will do. For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it.” Habakkuk 1:5

How does it change things for you to realize that failure is a necessary part of success?


Mary Lou Caskey trains Christian coaches and communicators to influence hearts through the power of story. If you want to become a transformative story-teller, click here to connect with Mary Lou and get her free quiz, “Is It the Best Time to Share a Personal Story?”

 

 

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