On today’s episode, Kathi welcomes friend and author Arlene Pellicane to talk about her new book; Parents Rising: 8 Strategies for Raising Kids who Love God, Respect Authority, and Value What’s Right. Kathi and Arlene discuss the challenges of raising kids to respect authority and Arlene shares tips for parents who want to raise children to love the Lord and have a healthy respect for authority.
On today’s encouraging show you’ll learn:
The importance of parents having the right mindset to raise respectful kids
Why respect in marriage is so essential in raising respectful kids
How chores offer a valuable opportunity to teach our kids responsibility
To help out the show: • Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one. • Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.
Special thanks to our sponsor DaySpring.com
This episode was sponsored by DaySpring.com where you can find the beautiful new (in)courage Devotional Bible featuring devotions from over 100 of our favorite writer friends, including our very own Michele Cushatt, Kathi’s co-host of Communicator Academy Podcast. Find out more here
Meet Our Guest
Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising, 31 Days to a Happy Husband and Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life. She has been a featured guest on programs like the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, and FamilyLife Today. Learn More.
Tonya Kubo is back and on today’s podcast she and Kathi continue the conversation on the differences between clutter and hoarding. Drawing from personal experiences they share practical tips for what to do if you or a loved one struggle with hoarding.
In this episode you will learn:
why the mess is not always the actual problem when it comes to hoarding
To help out the show:
• Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or subscribe now.
Special thanks to Tonya for joining me again this week!
Meet Our Guest
Tonya Kubo is the illustrious, fearless leader of Kathi Lipp’s Clutter-Free Academy Facebook group.A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at www.GreatMoms.org.
“I keep asking God, ‘Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it’!” My friend Lynn* has devoted years to following God’s call on her life.
But now, she’s at a crossroads.
“I’ve been crying out to God for direction,” she tells me, “and I have assurance that He is with me. But I’m not hearing any clear next step from Him for this new season. I feel stuck.”
Lynn knows, in her head, that there’s no perfect step-by-step plan.
“I just wish I knew for sure what to do next,” she sighs.
As we continue our conversation, I realize she’s afraid. She’s afraid of taking risks, afraid of messing up at such a pivotal time.
She wishes she could get absolute clarity and direction before taking her next step.
But so often we don’t find clarity and direction before taking action — we gain clarity and direction by taking action.
The One Thing You Need to Clarify Your Current Calling
Do you sometimes wish that your current calling came with exact details of what to do? Maybe a step-by-step plan so you know for sure you are following God’s “perfect” plan for you life?
Maybe, like my friend Lynn, you’re trying to navigate a life transition, all by yourself.
The problem with this approach? We quickly become isolated without even recognizing it. We get stuck in our own heads — ideas, options, and worries swirling wildly around — until fear takes over and paralysis sets it.
For my friend Lynn, her next step was to connect with a group of her Like-Minded Peeps.
And if you want clarity about your current calling, you need to find your Like-Minded Peeps, too … people who achieve what you desire to accomplish.
The Power of Finding Your Peeps
The rewards of connecting with your Like-Minded Peeps are numerous.
You’ll replace confusion with clarity.
You’ll exchange that stuck feeling for renewed energy, inspiration, and creativity.
You’ll move beyond over-analysis as you watch others take imperfect action that leads to success.
You’ll enjoy the satisfaction of new ideas.
But the benefits of finding your Like-Minded Peeps goes beyond you.
Collaborating with your Like-Minded Peeps won’t just add a little to your life; the benefits of mutual contribution and encouragement will multiply in everyone’s lives.
Best of all, you’ll be reminded of what is so easy to forget during times of change.
One Small Win: Your calling matters. You make a significant difference. Yes, you really do.
It’s time to find your Like-Minded Peeps.
Wondering how? Click here now to download your Free Cheat Sheet “3 Ways to Find Your Like-Minded Peeps.”
(*Not her real name)
Mary Lou Caskey trains Christian coaches and communicators to influence hearts through the power of story. If you want to become a transformative storyteller,to connect with Mary Lou and get her free quiz, “Is It the Best Time to Share a Personal Story?”
What happens on family night … stays on family night. At least that’s what we said the night I dramatically pantomimed changing my adult daughter’s diaper. It was the final round of Cranium. If my husband guessed correctly, our team would take the win. If not, it was sure to go to the other team.
In the last few seconds, he shouted, “Changing a diaper!”
I raised my hands in victory. “Yes!”
The other team groaned as my husband moved our player piece into the winner zone. My daughter got up off the floor, red-faced and raspy from screeching/laughing.
Now, whenever we decide to play a game on family night, her older siblings (and brother-in-law) always tease her with, “Let’s play Cranium.”
And she always spits back “No!,” much to their delight.
Creating a fun family night
Family night has been a thing in our family since the kids were little. Now that they’re all out on their own, they still love it. So do my husband and I. I credit family night for one of the main reasons we’re a close family.
It hasn’t always been easy. But I’ve learned some things (sometimes the hard way) to make weekly family nights an event they won’t want to miss.
1) Yummy food. If your kids still live at home, this is a night to put something special on the menu. When mine were little, they’d beg for pizza — an obvious way to make the meal fun for them.
There are other nights for “eat your vegetables” and “try it — you’ll like it.” Family nights are a great reason to put out those “Yay! Best mom ever!” foods.
Now that mine are young adults on a meager food budget, anything that isn’t Ramen noodles or Kraft macaroni and cheese puts a smile on their faces. I usually make this my night to put more effort into cooking dinner. It’s also our one dessert night of the week.
Whatever their age, choose a menu (or restaurant) that will be sure to lure them to the table.
2) Fun activity. Don’t let the night end with everyone slipping away after dinner and melding with their devices. Planning an activity keeps the conversation going, often getting into the deeper issues of life. We’re fond of board games, so it doesn’t take much to entice them to play a round or two. Sometimes we’ll hike at a local landmark or head to the nearby city park if the weather’s nice.
Some weeks, like Easter week, we’re simply exhausted. Those are great times to head to the theater or rent a movie to watch at home. This weekend, my heart melted when my youngest curled up next to her dad on the couch like she did as a little girl.
3) Safe conversation. Speaking from some of the most painful parenting lessons I’ve ever learned, I highly recommend saving the difficult conversations for later. Most issues can and should be dealt with individually, but if it’s truly a family matter, we schedule a family meeting.
We work hard at cultivating positive interaction, with more encouragement than correction. For me, the work is especially hard, since I didn’t grow up in a positive environment; too many times I’ve repeated the mistake of being too harsh with my children. Often, it takes intentional work on the parents’ part to create a supportive and affirming family environment.
I’ve watched the work pay off not just on family nights, but throughout the week as well. Recently, one of our adult kids sent us all a group text before a big job interview and instantly got 100% response with many variations of, “You go, girl!”
One Small Win: Whether your kids are just barely old enough to sit at the table, or if they have dining room tables of their own, family nights are a great way to create great memories and foster closeness.
And if you ever find yourself playing Cranium and draw the “pantomime changing a diaper” card?
Do it with gusto.
Your family will be talking (and laughing) about it for months to come.
Lyneta Smith is an inspirational writer and speaker who lives with her husband near Nashville, TN. Some of her favorite things to write in her planner: date nights and family time with her adult children. She’s owned by a frisky Boston terrier and a tortoiseshell cat. Connect with her at www.lynetasmith.com.
Valentine’s Day wreaks havoc on a girl with unrealistic expectations. I know. I’ve been there.
My husband, Mike, set the bar very high during our whirlwind courtship, fairytale wedding, and over-the-top honeymoon. He pursued me like a glass of cold water in the middle of a desert. He spoiled me with gifts and sent huge bouquets to my work (too big to fit on my desk!) He was a man on a mission. I felt loved and valued.
So, when we got married, I expected him to continue to pursue me with the same fervor he showed while dating.
Before you laugh, I felt justified in that expectation since he promised to pursue me in his wedding vows.
We were both naive to think we could pour into our marriage the same level of energy we had before the wedding. I brought an adorable daughter into our marriage (my second), and we added two more children to the mix in the first three years. Mike went from single to married father of three almost overnight.
Add to that a job change and a move and you can see how his focus necessarily changed. Any reasonable person might have given her husband a bit of slack in the area of creating romance. I can’t always claim that title.
I held on to my expectations, creating a bar too high for Mike to clear.
And little by little, the romance faded.
I wanted (expected) him to initiate dates with me and go all-out for birthdays and holidays. One of my top “love languages” is gifts. My expectations made it hard for him to feel confident in buying gifts. He thought it wouldn’t be enough (and, in all honesty, he might’ve been right). I expected thoughtful gifts that reflected his love for me and that showed he really knows my heart. (No pressure, right?)
Mike’s love language is acts of service. He’ll do anything for me: chores, filling the gas tank, he’ll even go grocery shopping. If it can be checked off a list, he’s happy to do it.
That’s all wonderful, but what I really wanted was to know that he still loved me as much as he did when we dated, when he expressed his love in ways that flooded my heart with joy. All his acts of service just weren’t doing that for me.
My expectation kept me from enjoying him in the present
Every time Valentine’s Day rolled around (or any other special occasion), my expectations soared and were dashed.
I knew Mike had it in him to shower me with romance and create a memorable day, but he didn’t. My disappointment festered.
Then, after a lot of pain and struggle, I laid down my “right” to be pursued and dated, and began to accept the husband God gave me.
Now, anything he does – a gift, a date, holding my hand on a walk, or simply cuddling on the couch to watch the latest installment of Victoria — I express my gratitude to him. More than that, I feel gratitude toward him. It’s a great place to be.
And you know what happened? He started exceeding my expectations!
If you have unrealistic expectations this Valentine’s Day, here’s what you can do:
1.Let your husband off the hook. He’s already proven his love to you. Let him know he doesn’t have to vault over the high bar of your expectations anymore. 2. Shower him with gratitude. If your husband gives you a Valentine’s Day gift or card, let him know you appreciate it. If he doesn’t, pick something else to express gratitude for. Focus on what he brings to the marriage. 3. Accept your reality. Celebrate Valentine’s Day in a way that works for you, your unique marriage and your season in life.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to look like a Hallmark movie – or even a Hallmark commercial – to be special. Celebrate the man God gave you, not the fantasy of who you think he should be. Celebrate your love free of unrealistic expectations and I promise you’ll have more fun!
Elizabeth M. Thompson is an inspirational writer and speaker who helps women lead Scripture-based, Spirit-graced lives. She lives in Gold River, CA, with her family and enjoys kayaking and walking along the American River with her two adventurous dogs. Connect with her at www.elizabethmthompson.com