How To Stop Hanging On To All Your Kid’s Stuff and Still Be a Great Mom at the Same Time

How To Stop Hanging On To All Your Kid’s Stuff and Still Be a Great Mom at the Same Time

Behold, the boxes of guilt…

These are the boxes of drawings, ticket stubs, participation certificates and sportsmanship trophies that have taken over your garage and basement. They are the boxes that have layers of regret as thick as the layers of dust covering the Lucite tops.

Because, you see, these are the boxes a “good mom” would have turned into loving scrapbooks with pictures of your kid’s idyllic childhood and quippy sayings accompanying each photo mounted on acid-free paper for future generations to bask in and enjoy.

But instead, you have mounds of stuff no one has looked at in years, except for the occasional glimpse accompanied by that twinge of guilt.

Now, you just want to pass the boxes along and get them out of the garage, but how do you do that without overloading your kids with clutter?

 Pre-Sort Before Your Kids Get Involved.

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to dump a thousand photos, stuffed animals, certificates and miscellany on our kids and say, “Here.” As parents, we have some responsibility to guide our kids through the process.

  1. Not every memory is worth keeping. I’ve kept exactly one picture of me and my first husband. It was when we were in high school on a church youth trip and we were just getting to know each other. I had a huge crush on him and everything at that time was fun and possibilities. I kept that photo because when I see it, it makes me smile. The rest of the photos of just the two of us – gone. And here’s the good news: I don’t miss them at all. This move was not out of anger; those memories are just not happy ones and I moved on a long time ago. I’ve kept a few pictures of us as a family for our kids.

Your kids also don’t need pictures of relatives they met one time when they were three, cousins they don’t know, or family vacations before they were born. You can pre-sort anything you know they don’t care about.

Same goes for picture with people whose names I (and my kids) don’t remember, or pictures that are associated with not great memories.

  1. Now that you’ve had the chance to evaluate the memories, it’s time to choose the best of the best. Do you really need/want 32 pictures of your daughter’s fourth birthday, or would three pictures be enough? Do you need to keep the third-place trophy of your daughter’s homeschool bowling league, or would a picture of the trophy suffice?

Choose the best of the best, and get rid of the rest. We only need one photo to spark a good memory. Let it be the best photo in the bunch.

Schedule a Time With Your Kids to Sort Through The Rest.

Once you’ve presorted, then it’s time to get your kids in on the process. It’s a lot easier to make group decisions after you’ve culled everything you know nobody wants.

  1. Decide. Ask your kids if they want input to the evaluation process. Some kids will want to be sure to have their input, and some could not care less. Either answer is fine, but they need to know that if they don’t participate, they don’t get to complain later on.

And be sure to let your kids know that they will not hurt your feelings if they don’t keep everything. Remember, not every memory has earned the right to be preserved.

Here are some things you’ll want to discuss during the sorting process:

a.) Who is keeping these treasures?

b.) How much space do I want to dedicate to storing photos and memorabilia?

c.) What should happen to certain items if the person keeping them no longer wants                                     them? (For example, maybe Mom would keep the artwork Suzy painted in high                                         school if she eventually decides to get rid of it.)

2. Display. If you’ve been a part of the Clutter Free Academy, you know I have three criteria for                 whether you keep something:

a.) I love it.

b.) I use it.

c.) I would buy it again.

This is great criteria for you and also for guiding your kids when deciding what to keep.

  1. Digitalize. For pics of my pics without the glare, I use PhotoScan by Google. This way, I have a digital record of what I need.
  2. Distribute. Make sure your kids have access to whatever photos they want, whether it’s the actual photos or the folder where the digital copies are.

I want memorabilia guilt to be a thing of your past —not part of your kid’s future. Decluttering before you pass those items down, and then helping them decide what to keep and what to toss ensures they’ll have all of the memories and none of the guilt.

Ready for your chance to win a copy of The Mom Project? To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. *Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.

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How to Cut the Clutter with All the Paper (And a Free Organizing Gift for You!)

How to Cut the Clutter with All the Paper (And a Free Organizing Gift for You!)

Cut-the-Clutter-with-All-the-Paper

The number one question I get when it comes to organizing is about ALL THAT PAPER. What do I do with it? What do I need to keep? How do I keep it from coming into my house? Please make the MADNESS STOP!!

Sigh…

I strongly suggest you gather all your loose paper into one place—every clutter pile of mail in your living room, all those magazines you want to save but aren’t sure why, the random sticky notes, coupons, envelopes. Search every nook and cranny around your house, and everything that was once a tree (except your furniture) goes in the box. It might be hard at first. I know that large stacks of paper make me want to roll up in a ball in a corner and weep uncontrollably. If you are already there, here are a few verses for you for FREE to comfort you!

Fist off, keep the paper from coming in the door. Here are a few tricks to stop the incoming flow:

  • Stop It at the Source: If you aren’t reading the magazines, don’t let them renew. Call the customer service number of catalogs you receive to get off their list.
  • Stop Giving Out Your Address: Don’t enter that sweepstakes to win a boat or free windows for your house. Or at least check the box that says they can’t share the information. (And don’t worry – we here at KathiLipp.com NEVER share your info.)
  • Keep a Recycle Bag in the Car: I would have my kids go through their backpacks in the car and any paper they didn’t need (or I didn’t need to see) got put in the bag.
  • Have a Plan: Our mailbox is in our garage, right next to our recycle bin. At least 60% of paper never comes into the house as it goes directly into the bin. If your box is outside, sort the mail at the box and walk into the house with two piles: one to handle, one to recycle.

You will need to organize this pile of papers into three boxes:

FILING –

This box is for anything that you need to file. Every household should have a simple filing system for receipts, warranties, tax returns, and all those other papers that aren’t currently “in motion” but may need to be referred to at a later date.

Try to keep your files as lean and mean as possible. You don’t need to keep your check stubs from college or warranties from a fridge you no longer own. Since so much of our lives are stored on our computers, we can get rid of a lot of the paperwork we no longer need. You can find most instruction manuals online, scan articles to keep on your computer, and put reminders directly on your digital calendar.

If you are still getting bills in the mail from your regular utility companies, get online and ask to go paperless. Yes – it will save some trees, but more importantly, it will save your sanity.

GIVE AWAY –

Do you have magazines that your library or some other organization would love? Ask first, and then drop them off.

GARBAGE AND RECYCLING –

You shouldn’t have much for the garbage, but I suggest a shredder for any sensitive information you want to get rid of.         

Set aside one day a week to do all your paperwork. If only for fifteen minutes that day, being consistent will make the difference in a home cluttered with paper and one clear for real living!

Finally – my gift to you! life or fileThis little filing system keeps all my papers organized and where I need them, when I need them. It has saved my bacon more times than I can count!

What do you struggle with as far as papers?  Please tell me I am not the only one…


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