How To Match Your Stuff To the Size of Your Plate

How To Match Your Stuff To the Size of Your Plate

 

It’s March 27, 2017

Due to an emergency, Kathi is unable to do her scheduled Facebook LIVE with the Clutter Free Bible Study group and asks if I’ll fill in.

“If you don’t have any areas of clutter struggle any more, ” she says as only the Queen of Positivity can, “maybe you can tell them about your past challenges.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll think of something!” I assure her, glancing guiltily around my office.

During the Facebook LIVE, I show everyone my greatest clutter struggle: the many ways I preserve my ideas.

  • A shelf lined with 2 inch binders labeled “Blog Post Ideas #1” … “Blog Post Ideas #2” … “Blog Post Ideas #3″…
  • File boxes full of hanging file-folders stuffed with notes from in-process book proposals and retreat messages.
  • Stacks of printed drafts (I live in terror of losing digital data, so I hav a printing compulsion) from the months when Kathi and I were writing Overwhelmed: 1st draft, 2nd draft, 10th draft.
  • Notebooks from the various writing and speaking conferences I’d been to, dating back before 2010.

“They’re all so beautifully organized and labeled, Cheri!” someone comments.

“Aren’t they?” I agree.

“Which is exactly what has allowed me to justify keeping all this stuff. After all, if it’s color-coded, labeled, and organized in binders, certainly it’s not clutter…right?!?”

My sarcasm evokes laughter, and then we all fall silent in communal conviction.

Just because our stuff looks good does not mean we should keep it.

What Size is Your Plate?

In Overwhelmed, Kathi describes each person’s individual capacity in terms of “the size of your plate.”

Most women have dinner plates—an average capacity for activity and productivity.

A few have turkey platters and can accomplish 2-3 times as much as most people.

I, on the other hand, have a small plate. As a highly sensitive person, I am extra easily overwhelmed.

“Does all this stuff in my office match up with a small plate person?” I ask the Clutter Free Bible Study group members.

No way, they all agree.

All the binders and boxes and stacks match someone with a turkey platter.

A hard truth hits me, smack dab in the middle of Facebook LIVE:

Hanging onto so much stuff is a form of greed stemming from distrust.

Protecting my precious ideas is me saying, “God, I don’t trust you to remind me of what’s important.”

And ultimately, hoarding my ideas is my way of trying to stretch my plate.

I never wanted a small plate. I’ve always wanted a turkey platter. So I’ve surrounded myself with “evidence” that “proves” my preferred truth.

It’s my way of saying, “Look! I have all this! If I have so much, I must have a really big plate!”

Bottom line: I’m keeping an office full of stuff so that I can prove God wrong.

<gulp>

Learning to Trust God

After the Facebook LIVE I look around my office with new eyes.

I’ve worked so hard to protect all my precious ideas, but I have far too many to use.

I need to trust God to choose.

I need to believe that God will help me remember the ideas I need when the time comes. Or trust that He’ll give me something new.

Either way, it’s time to quit pretending I have a bigger plate than I do.

I need to accept the size of my plate and let most of this stuff go.

My stuff needs to match the truth about who God created me to be.

__________________________

Cheri Gregory is a teacher, speaker, author, and Certified Personality Trainer. Her passion is helping women break free from destructive expectations. She writes and speaks from the conviction that “how to” works best in partnership with “heart, too.”

Cheri is the co-author, with Kathi Lipp, of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life and the upcoming Overwhelmed.

Cheri has been “wife of my youth” to Daniel, her opposite personality, for twenty-eight years and is “Mom” to Annemarie (25) and Jonathon (23), also opposite personalities.

Cheri blogs about perfectionism, people-pleasing, highly sensitive people, and hope at www.cherigregory.com.

 

 

 

 

Withdraw When You’re Overwhelmed

Withdraw When You’re Overwhelmed

I was sick when I was pregnant and not just a little bit. Doctors diagnosed me with hyperemesis, which I loosely translate into “throwing your guts up day and night.”

When I got pregnant the second time, people assured me every pregnancy is different. And they were right. The second time was worse.

I sank into despair

For a woman who had led a largely sheltered and happy life, the sickness and helplessness overwhelmed me. Even though I knew the suffering would end with a blessing, my baby boys, I drifted from discouragement to despair. And then I sank. I also followed a harmful pattern that made everything worse. For the first time since I had fallen madly in love with Jesus, I didn’t pray. I didn’t read my Bible. Instead, I withdrew from God.

Just a month after my second son was born, I developed a close friendship with a woman named Linda whose sons were the same age as mine. We were both sick during our second pregnancy, but her nausea had a different source. It was caused by the chemo she was receiving for a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer.

Faced with a terminal illness, a new baby, and a grieving family, my friend didn’t react to overwhelmed by pushing God away. She drew close to Him.

In her truly overwhelming circumstances, she administered David’s remedy given in Psalm 62:8, “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (NIV, emphasis added)

What my friend taught me about seeking God

Instead of withdrawing from God like I did, Linda’s secret was that she withdrew each day with God. Linda brought all her emotions to God and let Him help her. She didn’t try to fake cheerfulness in His presence or avoid Him completely. Instead, she trusted Him with her feelings and found Him to be her refuge.

If you’ve made my mistake and developed a pattern of withdrawing from God instead drawing close, I have an action step for us to take. Let’s set a reminder on our phone or a write a note on our calendar each day at a specific time that says, “Pour out your heart to Him.” When our daily time arrives, let’s take the next five minutes to bring our honest feelings to God and ask Him to help us with them.

Creating a new pattern of withdrawing to Jesus in overwhelmed times instead of hiding from Him means we access His power, strength and peace to face the day. We’ll not only build deeper trust in God, but just like my friend Linda, we’ll strengthen and inspire others.

One Small Win: In the past, have I responded to overwhelmed by withdrawing from God or with Him? What steps can I take to either change or strengthen that pattern?


withdrawAmy Carroll is a speaker and writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She’s the author of Breaking Up with Perfect as well as the director and coach of Next Step Speaker Services. Amy and her husband live in lovely Holly Springs, NC with a bossy miniature dachshund. You can find her on any given day texting her two sons at college, typing at her computer, reading a book, or trying to figure out one more alternative to cooking dinner. Share life with Amy at www.amycarroll.org and on Facebook.

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