Paula Friedrichsen

By Paula Friedrichsen

Recently my husband and I celebrated our twenty-third wedding anniversary. That morning before Jeff left for work he took me in his arms (ignoring my bad breath, crazy hair, scraggly jammies and all) and told me how much he loved me. He said, “You are a wonderful wife and mother-and I’m lucky to have you. Happy anniversary! I love you so much.”

Warmth and security are found in the unconditional love of my husband, and I take comfort in the knowledge that I’m not still auditioning for the part. And while Jeff’s eyes do light up when I walk into his workplace in cute jeans, with my hair curled hair and wearing makeup, the true compliment is in that “everyday” love he so freely extends to me.

And I extend that same love and acceptance to Jeff. Although I appreciate the fact that he gets cleaned up and nicely dressed each day, our marriage (and our sex life) is not laid upon the foundation of physical perfection. I’ll take my big lug just the way he is.

Comfortable love doesn’t make comparisons. Comfortable love accepts and embraces all that your husband is, letting the light of your attention illuminate his good qualities.

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Guest blogger Paula Friedrichsen is a conference speaker and the author of “The Man You Always Wanted is The One You Already Have” (Multnomah 2007). She lives in Northern California with her husband and teenaged daughter.