By Nancy C. Anderson

Nancy Anderson

My husband, Ron, admits that he used to be jerk, but I discovered a secret formula that turned him into a loving husband: I started treating him like a VIP! Ron always wanted me to respect him, but I thought he had to earn it — and I had to feel it — before I could do it. Wrong.

We women are very good at pointing out our husbands’ faults and failures and punishing them for not meeting our needs, but that only leads to discontent and distance in our marriages. We all know that yelling, nagging, and belittling are disrespectful and ineffective.

king's crownSo I’m suggesting a radical concept: Treat him like a king, and eventually, he may begin to treat you like a queen. And even if he doesn’t respond to your new attitude, you’ll have the knowledge that you’re doing all you can to obey God’s word.

Instead of waiting for him earn your respect, behave respectfully and watch him grow into the man God designed him to be.

Twenty five years ago, our marriage was on the brink of divorce. I was controlling, critical and disrespectful so Ron was defensive and angry. We were both Christians but neither of us was living a spirit-filled life. I was letting my emotions determine my actions and thought it was Ron’s job to make me happy. But through a series of miracles we made a decision to rebuild our marriage.

We went to a Christian counselor who read Ephesians 5:33 to us: “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” He then said, “Nancy, the only way you will win Ron back and stay married is if you begin to respect your husband.” I knew he was right so I swallowed hard and came up with a plan. Here are three of the ways I began to respect Ron: They’re easy to remember because they spell out the goal—to treat him like a V.I.P.

Respect him Verbally, Intellectually, and Physically.

Three additional posts will follow this blog, each one focusing on a single component of this V.I.P. plan. Look for part two, Respect Him Verbally, on Thursday.

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Guest blogger Nancy C. Anderson is an award-winning author and speaker who loves to teach women and couples to avoid the “Greener Grass Syndrome” by watering their own lawns. Nancy and her husband Ron teach at marriage seminars and banquets. For more information about their speaking schedule and other marriage articles: or their blog