A start-calling-the-name-of-Jesus panic.
I had two speaking engagements on Saturday; one was a breast cancer research benefit for my fellow author Susy Flory in her home about an hour away. The other was for a local church in my hometown of San Jose.
I was packed up and ready to go. In fact, I had time to stop at Starbucks with plenty of time to get to Susy’s. So I am sitting in the drive thru line at Starbucks, and realize I had left my iPod at home. No problem! I could listen to some tunes on my iPad that I had brought for my notes. (Yes. I’m like all those hipster pastors who preach from their iPads. Word.)I hooked up the iPad to my car’s stereo and…
I touched the power button and nothing. Nada.
How could it be? I had charged it all the night before. I should have had battery to spare. But there I was, staring at a blank screen.
Yes, I had plenty of time to get to Susy’s. But not if I had to go back home (20 minutes) boot up my computer and print the speech (10 minutes) and then recover the lost ground, (another 20 minutes.) I would love to say that I started praying. But really, it was panic and a lot of pleading.
“God, please help me recall my speech. I will do anything if you help me remember it all. Help me, Help me…” And that’s when I heard his voice…
Andy Stanley’s voice. It was coming from the car stereo.
I couldn’t figure it out? How was I listening to one of Andy’s podcasts on leadership if my iPad was out of juice? And that’s when I made one of those “slap-yourself-on-the-forhead-it-would-be-hilarious-if-it-happened-to-someone-else-discoveries”…
I couldn’t see that the iPad screen was on the whole time because I was wearing polarized sunglasses.
All I had to do to see that the iPad was working the whole time was to take off my sunglasses.
UM – are we talkin’ metaphor or what?
It’s like my prayer earlier. God is there waiting the whole time – asking me to come to him with every single need. (Even an iPad that’s on the fritz.) But because of fear, it’s as if I can’t see Him. I just resort to fear.
And that’s usually why I can’t see God: fear. Or it’s close cousin, bitterness.
What gets in the way of you seeing Jesus?
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.