A start-calling-the-name-of-Jesus panic.
I had two speaking engagements on Saturday; one was a breast cancer research benefit for my fellow author Susy Flory in her home about an hour away. The other was for a local church in my hometown of San Jose.
I was packed up and ready to go. In fact, I had time to stop at Starbucks with plenty of time to get to Susy’s. So I am sitting in the drive thru line at Starbucks, and realize I had left my iPod at home. No problem! I could listen to some tunes on my iPad that I had brought for my notes. (Yes. I’m like all those hipster pastors who preach from their iPads. Word.)I hooked up the iPad to my car’s stereo and…
I touched the power button and nothing. Nada.
How could it be? I had charged it all the night before. I should have had battery to spare. But there I was, staring at a blank screen.
Yes, I had plenty of time to get to Susy’s. But not if I had to go back home (20 minutes) boot up my computer and print the speech (10 minutes) and then recover the lost ground, (another 20 minutes.) I would love to say that I started praying. But really, it was panic and a lot of pleading.
“God, please help me recall my speech. I will do anything if you help me remember it all. Help me, Help me…” And that’s when I heard his voice…
Andy Stanley’s voice. It was coming from the car stereo.
I couldn’t figure it out? How was I listening to one of Andy’s podcasts on leadership if my iPad was out of juice? And that’s when I made one of those “slap-yourself-on-the-forhead-it-would-be-hilarious-if-it-happened-to-someone-else-discoveries”…
I couldn’t see that the iPad screen was on the whole time because I was wearing polarized sunglasses.
All I had to do to see that the iPad was working the whole time was to take off my sunglasses.
UM – are we talkin’ metaphor or what?
It’s like my prayer earlier. God is there waiting the whole time – asking me to come to him with every single need. (Even an iPad that’s on the fritz.) But because of fear, it’s as if I can’t see Him. I just resort to fear.
And that’s usually why I can’t see God: fear. Or it’s close cousin, bitterness.
What gets in the way of you seeing Jesus?