What To Do When Your Husband is Overwhelmed

I get some variation on this question a lot when I’m speaking: What should you do when your husband is overwhelmed.

It’s probably because of work – or finances. Or maybe there’s stuff going on with his parents, or in your family. Whatever the reason, we all know when it’s happening. Maybe he get’s really quiet and withdrawn. He may be in a place where talking about it (or just about anything,) is overwhelming. He’s exhausted, so either he sleeps all the time, or he doesn’t sleep at all.

You know what it looks like for your man. But when you see it happening, don’t just wait for the wave to pass. There are things you can do actively help your man during this difficult time.

Here are five things you can do right away when you realize that your husband is overwhelmed:

  1. Lighten His Load Are there things around the house that your husband normally does, that you, (or an older child) can do for him right now. Even hiring a teenager to mow the lawn could be just what your husband needs to know that you’ve got his back.
  2. Pray for Him Here are eight verses you can pray for your husband, right now, as he’s feeling overwhelmed. I think it’s important to let your husband know that you’re praying for him. Roger walks with new confidence when he knows that I’ve got his back, prayer-wise.
  3. Feed Him I don’t want it to seem like I’m making our guys into cavemen, but there is something about knowing where his next meal is coming from that can really make a man feel more secure. If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, you can right now and receive my e-cookbook  The Ultimate Guide to Man Food for some inspiration.
  4. Sex Again – not trying to go caveman here, but sex is (for most men,) the biggest tension reliever he will experience. Setting aside some time (and even asking your parents if the kids can have a sleepover,)will do more for your husband than just about anything else.
  5. Words of Encouragement One of the reasons your husband may be feeling overwhelmed is that he is feeling undervalued. What can you say to make him know that he is valued and respected?
  • “Thanks for working so hard to provide for us. I appreciate all you do.”
  • “I feel safe when I’m with you.”
  • “You take such great care of me and the kids.”
  • “I love how you lead our home.”
  • “God blessed me so much by letting me be your wife.”

Now it’s your turn – tell me: what do you do to support your man when he’s feeling overwhelmed by life?




  1. I love your message and your tips. There are two things I would add. At times, my husband needs words of affirmation from his colleagues and guy peers, not just from me. So, I pray for the Lord to send him “kudos” during the day. And, the Lord always answers my prayers. Yea God! Also, I learned early that we shouldn’t try to fix the problem or rescue our husbands, because it is often God trying to work out something in their lives. So, I whole heartedly agree, there is nothing like praying for our man and letting him know we are! Love and appreciate your ministry!

  2. Hi Kathi
    Thanks for posting this. It’s quite timely as my husband is in that spot right now. I don’t see the verses that you mentioned. I’d love to be praying scripture over my husband during this time & would be interested to see what verses you include. Thank you so much!

    • Jessica – sorry your hubby is going through a rough time. The verses are on the picture to the right.

  3. Oh, boy….just scrolled up and looked more carefully at the picture on the right….found the verses! 😛 It’s late, what can I say?? Thanks again!

  4. I am torn between two feelings. First, I am frustrated at the fact that he is overwhelmed because I am overwhelmed too and I really wish he would look up an article about how to make me feel less overwhelmed. Then I feel guilty for being selfish, but I am at constant battle with myself. I am trying to remember that serving another person does not make you a doormat and I need to give my husband the kind of unconditional love that I give my children, without the resentment. I am a Christian woman and I am constantly re-evaluating and wanting to know what Jesus would do in this situation. I have found it helpful to look at it from your perspective and your ideas are great. Thanks

  5. Prayer is important and sometimes I call a prayer line so I know many are praying for him. This helps me to feel supported, too–since an overwhelmed husband can be hard on a wife. Sometimes I’ve had to ask him to see a counselor when he was stuck..it was a huge burden off our marriage.

  6. My husband is feeling overwhelmed and I am finding myself very selfish saying I’m overwhelmed too!!! I will pray these scriptures for him. Thank you.


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