UPDATED: July 14, 2016: In the midst of The Husband Project online bible study with Proverbs 31, I wanted to share this older article with all my new friends working hard to love on their husband. It can be especially hard to know how to love on our men when he’s having a hard time. It can be depression, being overwhelmed, overly stressed, health issues, etc. As wives we CAN help even when we feel helpless.
I get some variation on this question a lot when I’m speaking: What should you I do when my husband is overwhelmed?
It could be because of work – or finances. Or there’s stuff going on with his parents, or in your family. Whatever the reason, we all know when it’s happening. Maybe he get’s really quiet and withdrawn. He may be in a place where talking about it (or just about anything,) is overwhelming. He’s exhausted, so either he sleeps all the time, or he doesn’t sleep at all.
You know what it looks like for your man. But when you see it happening, don’t just wait for the wave to pass. There are things you can do actively help your man during this difficult time.
1. Lighten His Load
Are there things around the house that your husband normally does, that you, (or an older child) can do for him right now? Even hiring a teenager to mow the lawn could be just what your husband needs to know that you’ve got his back.
2. Pray for Him
Here are eight verses you can pray for your husband, right now, as he’s feeling overwhelmed. I think it’s important to let your husband know that you’re praying for him. Roger walks with new confidence when he knows that I’ve got his back, prayer-wise.
3. Feed Him
I don’t want it to seem like I’m making our guys into cavemen, but there is something about knowing where his next meal is coming from that can really make a man feel more secure. If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, you can right now and receive my e-cookbook The Ultimate Guide to Man Food for some inspiration.
4. Sex or Physical Touch
Again – not trying to go caveman here, but sex is (for most men,) the biggest tension reliever he will experience. Setting aside some time (and even asking your parents if the kids can have a sleepover,)will do more for your husband than just about anything else. However, if he is in a place that sex is even an area of discouragement, offer a no-strings-attached massage, or head, hand or foot rub.
5. Words of Encouragement
One of the reasons your husband may be feeling overwhelmed is that he is feeling undervalued. What can you say to make him know that he is valued and respected?
- “Thanks for working so hard to provide for us. I appreciate all you do.”
- “I feel safe when I’m with you.”
- “You take such great care of me and the kids.”
- “I love how you lead our home.”
- “God blessed me so much by letting me be your wife.”
Want more ideas? Download my 21 Post-it-Note Encouragements.
Giveaway: July 14, 2016
Question of the day: How do you help your husband when he is overwhelmed by life?
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.
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