So in yesterday’s post, provokingly titled Let Me Tell You Why I Unfriended You On Facebook I talked about the need to filter some of the people in your life if you’re struggling in areas.
While the reaction on Facebook was overwhelmingly positive, enough issues were raised that I would love the chance to clear things up.
- I didn’t unfriend you on Facebook, I promise. I didn’t. I’ve unfriended exactly two people in my life, and they both were for extreme kinds of things that I promise you you’ve never done. They both know that I unfriended them, and they both know why. I did, about 18 months ago, merge my Facebook Profile with my Facebook Page. I was getting close to maxing out on the number of friends I could have, and so I merged to a Page that has an unlimited number of followers. That killed my personal profile and i had to start all over friend-wise. Over the past 18 months, if you are someone I know in person and I’ve seen you on a friend’s feed and you’ve said yes to my friend request, or you’ve sent me a friend request, we are friends on my Facebook profile. Or you may be a follower on my page. Either way, I get to hear what you want to say, and try to respond as much as I can. That blog post was in no way telling a former friend here is why I’ve unliked you – because I haven’t. (I HAVE hidden a couple of people’s Facebook streams because of what I’ve talked about in yesterday’s post, or because of extreme religious and political views – but I usually unhide most people once elections are over.)
- I wasn’t saying you should only post negative stuff. Somehow, that is how it got interpreted by a few people. I was asking for a little balance and reality. I love to celebrate your child’s good grade and your dog passing obedience school. As I said in the post – I also love when you, with humor and grace, share about a bad hair day.
- My main objective was to help women feel permission to not have to read every status update. Facebook is a tricky place and by the number of Facebook comments I got yesterday, I can tell this is an issue for a lot of women. Some people said that they only want to be positive and post good stuff. That’s fine. I’m just saying, if you are doing more than posting encouraging updates, if you’re bragging on a day to day basis, I may hide your posts. You have the right to post what you want. I have the right to read what I need.
If yesterday’s post caused you to rethink a post today, I’m glad. If it gave you permission to hide, even for a day or two, somebody’s post that was dragging you down, I’m really glad. If you felt that I was trying to hurt a former Facebook friend, I am truly sorry. I promise you that was not my intention.
She and her husband Roger are the parents of four young adults in San Jose, CA. When she’s not dating her husband or hanging out with her puggle Jake, Kathi is speaking at retreats, conferences and women’s events across the US.
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