Welcome to The Mom Project. For the next few weeks, we’ll be launching my book The Mom Project by hosting several mom friends who have tried it out for themselves. They read the book, completed a project from the book with their kids, and wrote all about it. And these are real moms. Busy moms. Unsure-of-themselves moms. Single moms. Special needs moms. Working moms. Stay-at-home moms. They do the hard working of mommyhood every day, and have found fun ways to connect with their kids in the simple activities found in The Mom Project. Read on to hear their experience:
When I first became a mom over 20 years ago, I had this perfectly reasonable idea that if I could just follow a certain list of things that “good moms” did then surely I would ensure that my kids would turn out OK. The problem was that the hospital must have forgotten to give me a copy of the list because I left with a tiny baby bundle and no clue what I was doing. As a young mom I quickly fell into the comparison trap. I thought that if I could just copy what other successful families were doing then we’d be fine.
So I started looking around, taking notes on all the things “good parents” did. You know the usual: reading to your baby, getting them into the right pre-school, sports teams and activities, sign up to be class parent for every grade, volunteer with the PTO, and so on. But every year that passed the list seemed to get longer and longer. It was becoming hard to keep up.
One area where there seemed to be a never-ending list of to-dos, for example, was birthday celebrations. We have dear friends and family members who have a gift for hospitality. They love throwing parties for every birthday and holiday. And early on I felt pressure to have big parties too, even though it’s not one of my “gifts”. But after having our 4th child we realized that big birthday parties every year for each child was just not in alignment with our values or our budget.
Our focus shifted from checking boxes and trying to do all of the things to considering what we really wanted our kids to remember about their time at home?
After we gave our family permission to trade-in the to-dos for meaningful traditions, our birthday celebrations became small and simple but meaningful. The birthday person gets to choose the meal and dessert of their choice on their special day and they get to use the red “I am special today” plate. Then we go around the table and take turns sharing what we love about the birthday person.
It’s become a sweet, fun and often funny tradition in our home.
As I started to think more about what memories and experiences we wanted to create together as a family I began to look for ways to make our time together special. Little every-day events have become reasons for celebration.
For example, Friday evenings have turned into “Toto’s Fridays” where we head to our favorite pizza place for dinner, usually after our youngest son’s baseball game, and catch up on the week’s events.
Other ideas for family traditions:
- Family reunions
- Annual camping trips
- Donuts or a special treat on the first day of school
- First day of summer scavenger hunt
- Family game night Fridays
- Ice cream sundae Sundays
There are definitely times when we need to check off to-do lists but when it comes to creating family memories each family is wonderfully different. Let’s choose to celebrate our time together by creating meaningful traditions that are in line with our family’s values rather than consume what others are doing and potentially miss out on some special opportunities.
One small win: We have limited time while our kids are at home, creating family traditions can be a great way of celebrating your family’s uniqueness and create memories together. Consider what special or ordinary events you’d like to find ways to celebrate.
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Ready for your chance to win a copy of The Mom Project? To be entered into the drawing, just comment on this post and you’ll be entered to win. *Only US readers are eligible to receive the free book.
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Zohary Ross is a life coach, speaker and author of the Aligned Parenting Workbook. She is passionate about equipping and encouraging women to let go of the never-ending hustle for perfection and live with alignment instead. Connect with her at zoharyross.com
Thank you for this, just what I needed to read today. I want Ted for kids and am the oldest mom around our neighborhood. I see all the younger moms waiting with kids at the bus stop, talking about soccer and what they are putting their kids into. I and my family are at at different place, I want different things but have been trying to shove myself and my kids into their mold. I want our own memories!
I need to give up the comparison list. I’m sure I’m putting too much pressure on myself than I should.
I am so excited about this new book! I cannot wait to read it!
I need help with this!!! I’m excited to read this new book, it sounds great!!!!
I so love your idea for the red “I am special today” plate. We may just have to find one of those!
You’ve inspired me to get out the Blessing Plate at my house this evening. We’ve gotten out of the habit of using it. 🙂
I am so ready to give up the yo do list and focus on my family!
I feel like I lack creativity and so I search Pinterest for ideas for family time..and usually set out with high expectations only to have my girls be all done in 2 mins and rather do something else (much more simple and less messy usually). This is the perfect read as yesterday for dinner we packed a picnic and headed to the park. As we sat together I looked at our girl’s faces and we chatted and engaged one another… Reflecting on our outing I realized I try to forcing moments like these. And try to be extravagant so they will remember and feel like we are having special family time but the truth is I saw the joy comfort and memory building in that simple outing. This book sounds perfect for us!
My divorce was the turning point for me. Out with “keeping up the the Jones'” and in with having fun our own way. Our simplest Jammie days and camping vacations have become lasting memories; far outweighing the extravagance of the past.
Loved the idea of taking turns going around the table saying what we loved about birthday girl/boy. Going to start adding share favorite memory of birthday person with family!
Thank you??